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AIBU?

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Original poster

I know I am BU but how do I shake it off?

81 replies

Sloejam · 09/06/2025 10:34

My partner and I always went running together. We actually met training for a half marathon.

I’m pregnant now and have stopped running (doctor’s advice but I’m knackered anyway).

He’s just told me he’s been invited to go for a run this week with his mate and his mate’s tennis pals (men and women), and they’ll probably grab some dinner and drinks after.

I feel bloody jealous and cross. Granted I can’t join the run but the dinner’s local to me and I’m not an invalid, I can leave the house. I’ve not been invited though because I’m not joining the run.

I know I’m completely unreasonable but I’m cross and feeling rubbish.

I wont tell him that of course, but AIBU to point out I could’ve been invited for dinner? I get the impression this’ll be a weekly thing now.

I genuinely don’t begrudge him a social or fitness life. I’m thrilled he has both. But because it’s something I’m explicitly excluded from, I just feel a bit crap.

OP posts:
Handbagcuriosity · 09/06/2025 10:44

What do you think his reaction would be if you said “ah that sounds lovely what time are you meeting for food and I’ll meet you all there?”

Because it sounds like he’s just not thought it out. His reaction will tell you whether he was being thoughtless or whether he intentionally doesn’t want you there. But why would he object?

Original poster
Sloejam · 09/06/2025 10:43

MidnightPatrol · 09/06/2025 10:42

Have you asked if you can join for the dinner?

Two thoughts:

  • when pregnant I think it’s easy to start feel intentionally excluded from stuff because you can’t fully participate for x or y reason. It’s annoying - you have my sympathy.
  • I think it’s good for couples to have some separate social lives, so maybe it’s a nice thing for him to be spending some alone time with this group…?

It is nice for him. I just can’t help thinking about all the super fit women, while I’m sat at home like a beached whale. I know it’s so ridiculous.

OP posts:
JellyAnd · 09/06/2025 10:43

Does it require an actual invitation? The normal thing would probably be to just say, ‘text me when you’re finishing the run and I’ll meet you at the restaurant’, and everyone would of course be fine with that… Otherwise it sounds really strange.

MidnightPatrol · 09/06/2025 10:42

Have you asked if you can join for the dinner?

Two thoughts:

  • when pregnant I think it’s easy to start feel intentionally excluded from stuff because you can’t fully participate for x or y reason. It’s annoying - you have my sympathy.
  • I think it’s good for couples to have some separate social lives, so maybe it’s a nice thing for him to be spending some alone time with this group…?
DancingDangerously · 09/06/2025 10:42

You should just tell him how you feel. Of course you can join for the dinner.

Melsy88 · 09/06/2025 10:42

Why don't you just tell him you'd like to go to dinner? He probably just didn't think

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