I know I am BU but how do I shake it off?

I disagree with the people telling you to go along for the meal. People are allowed to go out without their partners, and if everyone invited their partner to the meal afterwards it shifts it from a super casual 'grabbing some food and a drink after the run' to something where 50% of the people don't know the group, and you're waiting around for partners to arrive before people order, etc etc.

I think it's normal to feel a bit rubbish at missing an activity you enjoy (the running, not the meal), and it's not unusual to feel a bit crap about your changing body when you fall into the trap of comparison, but tagging along isn't the answer IMO

So it's got nothing to do with the actual dinner, you just don't trust him not to cop off with another woman?

Yabu. Just find something else nice to do to distract yourself.

Oh, well that's a bit different then. If these are all nice people then it sounds like his colleague and mate have kindly asked your DH to join then as he no longer has his usual running pal (you). If so, then still take yourself along. Hopefully your DH is make the introductions and it'll be a lovely evening.

If you feel your DH is wanting to have a social life outside of his life with you (which is OK - we are all entitled to have our own interests) but is clumsily using your shared interest (running) as a way to do this while you're unable to run then it does make it a little more uncomfortable for you. But that's quite a stretch and I really think you just need to tell him you'll join them after the run.

Is anyone else’s partner invited?

I don’t understand the bit where you said “I won’t tell him this of course”. Is lack of communication a running theme in your relationship (s’cuse pun).

Ask him? If you’re normally a runner too, just frame it as “Can you ask your friend to add me to the table for Thursday? I’d love to meet you guys for dinner after the run, because quite honestly I’d really love to get out the house and meet new people BUT it also means when I return to running after having the baby I’ve met everyone at the same time as you and can easily come go on the runs too!”

Some of the women may also have had kids and have advice on running post-partum etc. so mention that?!

I’d just approach it positively ☺️

I’ve not had kids yet but my husband and I both train a lot and he even said at one stage he was reluctant for me to train at the same time as him as I’d probably be fitter (the runs, not the weights!!) he loves it now but I KNOW I’ll be naturally resentful when he’s fit as a lop and I’m slowing down while pregnant. He knows getting my health and fitness back post-baby is a priority and that he needs to accept when he returns from work, he is not disappearing to the gym and it’s my time for a nice training session and he can go walk with baby ☺️

Do you know the saying "shy kids get nowt"?

If you don't say what you want, you won't get it.

Just tell him you'll meet them for dinner.

Can you just say to your DH...ah that sounds like great fun and i'm a bit down I can't run at the moment ...mind if I join the meal so I can hear about the run and live vicariously through you all!

You are indeed being completely unreasonable.

You are part of the running group and I assume you want to spend time with these friends as well.

I'm in various sporty groups and it's always lovely when the people who are not actively doing the sport for whatever reason join us for the socials.

If any of the 'super fit women' are making you feel like a beached whale or otherwise self conscious about your changing shape then are they really your friends anyway?

they’ll probably grab some dinner and drinks after.

it's not really a massive event, is it?
just tell him if they do, you'd love to join him there?

Or do your own thing. Go to a pregnancy yoga class or something. If you are naturally fit and are under medical order to stop, it's hell - people who don't exercise don't comprehend how being put on house arrest is damaging mentally and physically. So go swimming or yoga, or any safe activity you can do.

For sure, just invite yourself. If it's going to be a weekly thing then you need to start as you mean to go on and join in. Nobody will think it's odd or that you're encroaching. You're having a nice dinner with your friends - no drama, nothing to see, totally normal. Hope you have a lovely time!

It’s not his evening though, it’s something that’s been yours as a couple since you started your relationship tell him how you feel and go for the dinner.

I’ve not been invited though because I’m not joining the run.

Has anyone said this?

Tell DH you want to go, his reaction will tell you if he trying to exclude you.

Start as you mean to go on: be clear about intentions and expectations and don't expect your husband to be a mind reader. Worrying about encroaching sounds like you're casting yourself in a negative light. You obviously have negative associations with being unfit and it could be you've also got something negative tied up with being a mum.

You're still the same person and should confidently claim your space in the world.

Nah, invite yourself. Both me and my partner are active people and can't imagine a single person who I run or cycle with who would have a problem with this

Don't be timid. Refuse to get into such a negative funk. You're being silly. Of course nobody will mind and will be glad to see you.

Just go to the dinner. I think this is one of those things where they haven’t thought to invite you, rather than you not being welcome.

You're in your own head too much on this. Go join them for the dinner, you'll have fun, you'll feel better.

If you've suggested that and been told specifically no, and in the past you would have gone (because you'd have run) then your partner and his friends are dicks

If you would be running if it weren’t for your pregnancy I think you should be included in the meal.

Say you would like to come as you would be running of it weren’t for your pregnancy and while you can’t enjoy the running part you would like to keep up on the social aspect.