Just arrived on holiday with sisters kids

Surely you were previously aware that your sisters children behaved liked this?

Ok yes there are some things there that I can understand would be annoying, kids should sit when they eat, the yoghurt issues could have been avoided. But maybe your sister is just trying to have a nice holiday and be a bit more relaxed than usual. Kids are exhausting! They are messy and do knock stuff over, think you need to chill out a bit about them being kids.

My husband lets my kids splash and spatter food everywhere because he is too lazy to teach them basic manners. It's very frustrating, and also rude to ruin furniture and clothes with food. There's not much you can do apart from make your feelings clear to sis and let them get on with it. You should also make it clear and fine/deposit deduction will come from her end!

I would walk out and tell her that she is supposed to be nurturing children to make their way in the world and her poor parenting is going to see the children being ill equipped to behave properly at school and in other peoples houses as they pay no care or attention to basic manners and have no respect for their surroundings.

It’s absolutely gross behaviour.

I had three step children, two of my own and my husband was/is often away on business and all of mine sat at the table with food and drink so if she pulls the ‘can’t cope being a single parent, it’s a load of crap and she’s just lazy.

This is firmly on your sister, not on the children. My DD has evolved into a messy teenager but at such a young age everything was fine, as I was the one who had it under control.

Your options are either to let it go while on holiday and never holiday with them ever again or sit her down and have a serious chat about it.

I have kids.

I don't accept that feral and messy kids are normal. It's at best lazy parenting.

yogurt going flying everywhere, all over the sofa and up the glass of the patio doors. That' s not normal.

Even worst, is that their mother is not immediately cleaning the mess they're making. That's why they are a nightmare, because their mother doesn't care and encourage them.

Have you got any kids?

It just sounds like you're ot used to having kods around.

They don't behave perfectly.

And they like to run around- maybe even when it's food time.

Obviously sister should be telling them. But it's not easy with 2 young kids.
If you aren't happy just don't go with them next time.

I agree. I could never ever holiday with anyone unless I witness first hand how they parent their kids. There is only one friend that we ever holiday with, because they are very similar to us. I cannot stand badly behaved children, just cannot.
just leave op, this isn’t a holiday and your sister is actually a very poor parent by allowing all of this. She’s also the type where her kids make a big mess at a restaurant and she just leaves it as is and walks away?

I bet your children were well behaved and didn't throw food around! The kids in the original post sound positively disgusting.

Kids obviously do spill things but yhey absolutely shouldn’t be walking around with their plates and throwing things on the floor unless they’re literally babies younger than one.
and your sister should absolutely be cleaning up after them/ kids helping to clean

What was the understanding that you booked the holiday on? Was it all to have a break together, or for you to come to help out with the kids? I think I'd either find some other things to do during the day on your own and catch up with your sister in the evenings, or cut your losses and head home- it doesn't sound like it's going to be a relaxing or enjoyable week as it is...

And I hope it's not been booked in your name as you might get charged for damages

Mine are too, so we don’t hand out food until they are sitting down. And they have learnt to jump and help clean up! Not just go ok we all live in filth now.
banning them from your bedroom is pretty reasonable anyway I’d think.

Their behaviour can’t be a complete surprise to you, though? I mean, you presumably do already know them, and agreed to go, knowing what they’re like?

This.

What possessed you to presumably take annual leave to go on what is inevitably going to be a stressful and expensive holiday?!

Wow. Kids can be clumsy and careless but they should be told everyone and should at least help clean up the mess especially at age 6. Never share accommodation with them again!

My neighbour couldn't understand why she would need to tidy before the cleaner arrived. She was so used to all the toys being out, piles of washing everywhere, dirty dishes on the counter because the clean dishwasher hadn't been emptied. I suspect your sister is the same.

This doesn't sound like a person who's just "used to chaos". It's sounds like textbook mental illness. You can have a high tolerance for noise or mess but a living space has to be reset regularly for everything to function. Having the mess pile up or being unable to unload a dishwasher are red flags for depression.

I don't think I could take much more of it, @EllyRoff I'd either be cleaning behind them or I'd be heading home. Is it just you or do you have children with you too?
Your sister simply doesn't see the chaos caused because she is used to that level of mess. My old neighbour wanted my cleaner to go do for her too. It would have needed at least a couple of hours to tidy up before she could start to actually clean. My neighbour couldn't understand why she would need to tidy before the cleaner arrived. She was so used to all the toys being out, piles of washing everywhere, dirty dishes on the counter because the clean dishwasher hadn't been emptied. I suspect your sister is the same.

Thank goodness its booked in her name @EllyRoff , that's all I can say! Jeez.. That would drive me insane. I can actually feel your exasperation from here, (also, 2nd hand embarrassment would be a thing too with me). What's your sister's attitude like when you have to tell her kids off? (Cos I'd be telling them off, and her. If it was my situation, and I could sort out my own transport, I'd be off back home!) Sending you hugs and love, this must be so damned difficult.

Could your sister be depressed? Some ultra-relaxed mothers of feral kids are actually disassociating because they don't have the energy to monitor and clean up the constant messes. Kids need discipline as well and some parents literally cannot be arsed to get angry because they would self-destruct. Instead, they just go completely numb and let the kids wallow in self-generated mess and filth.

Can you afford to move into a nearby hotel room?

I think you’re being a little harsh. Sounds like my kids tbh who are also 4&6 🫣
but thankfully I haven’t just been on holiday with my sister so this can’t be about us!
keep reminding the kids yoghurt lids go straight in the bin/ food at the table only etc (I know it’s not your job but their mum is probably tired from having this at home 24/7 so I think a little help would be kind)
encourage them to clean up their own spills (this is what I do)
mine are both (well 1 confirmed 1 on the waiting list) ASD/adhd and are a little impulsive and don’t always slow down to think about spills etc not that this is the case here I’m just saying.
The kids will be more excited than usual as they are on holiday which won’t be helping too. Also maybe try to minimise it by careful planning of snacks, I cringed when you said one of them had a milkshake while out, that’s always gonna lead to mess

What’s wrong with eating outside? Mine love a bit of Al Fresco dining? The yoghurt just sounds accidental and tbf some of them are bloody hard to open without it making a mess.

some kids are also just clumsier than others and struggle to sit still. My daughter is one of the clumsiest kids I know, nothing to do with being a slob or lazy parenting!

struggling to see why you bothered going away with them in the first place?

Fuck it then. If she can’t make her children eat properly (my youngest is 4, she sits at the table for food and snacks, because of course, she would probably spill things if I let her walk around eating), she can pay the cleaning fee.

Not nice for you though, it would drive me up the wall.

At least it is booked in her name (& card hopefully). Any damage, cleaning charges, retention of deposit will be her problem and may wake her up. Leave them to their ways ....but does sound stressful.
Edit for spelling

Well you don't need to worry then, she will be charged a cleaning fee