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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband abroad for 2 nights when I will be 36 weeks pregnant

109 replies

Motherof1and2dogs · 09/06/2025 04:51

I have posted about this before under the topic ‘pregnancy’ but I didn’t get much response at all so thought I would try it under AIBU just as this seems to get more engagement :)

I just want some reassurance more than anything that I should be ok but also if you think my husband traveling away so close to the due date Is crazy, please be honest!

So he is going Portugal for 2 nights and in the airport hotel for 1 night, he will be leaving Tuesday morning next week and then arriving home Friday evening. This trip wasn’t compulsory and he had a choice (work related) but it is a trip of playing golf, wining and dining with other colleagues and more social than business, I did tell him I wasn’t comfortable with it but he decided to go anyway.

I will be 36 weeks pregnant and I am petrified of something happening and him not being here, meaning me going into labour or even needing to go A&E for some sort of emergency. We have a 2.5 year old so my mum will have to be here with him if anything happens so that is covered but I would have to go alone (most of my friends and family are over an hour away, or have kids of their own, or just might not be available at the time if something does happen. This really upsets me that he could miss the birth of his daughter or I don’t have him here as my support and safety net, but also I have been told and read that babies coming at 36 weeks is unlikely, especially that my pregnancy isn’t high risk so that helps a little.

What would you do in my situation? Do you think I have nothing to worry about or should I tell him to not go?
I do understand some women have to do this alone due to work commitments or maybe personal circumstances but in this scenario he does have a choice and I just feel like it’s a huge risk but then if baby doesn’t come then he is missing out on going to Portugal. Would love some opinions please :) x thanks in advance

OP posts:
HoppingPavlova · 09/06/2025 05:24

At 36 weeks would be more than fine.

Original poster
Motherof1and2dogs · 09/06/2025 05:20

@Ohmeohmyohdear he can be a little selfish at times, he has already turned down a stag do which he should have been going to (4 nights in Croatia!) and this Portugal trip could have some good opportunities in terms of meeting higher up people in his company which is why I never said a solid No, I just said I felt uncomfortable and my anxiety will be awful but I can’t force him not to go :(

OP posts:
Original poster
Motherof1and2dogs · 09/06/2025 05:18

@MimiBlush that’s the thing, I can’t see it as some peace and quiet unfortunately as I have a handful of a toddler to look after but on the plus side I will be on maternity leave at this point so I won’t be at work! Finger crossed this baby waits! 🤞

OP posts:
Ohmeohmyohdear · 09/06/2025 05:18

What a selfish and uncaring thing for your H to do.

I'm sure you will be OK OP but it sounds as though your H doesn't really care about you or his unborn child if he is happy to leave you at this stage of your pregnancy. And especially when you have told him you aren't happy about him going off to socialise.

Is he normally so uncaring?

Original poster
Motherof1and2dogs · 09/06/2025 05:14

@spoonbillstretford this is my second which I have heard the baby flies out! But as yourself and others are saying 36 weeks is unlikely which makes me feel better. The more reassurance I get the better I will feel! :)

OP posts:
Original poster
Motherof1and2dogs · 09/06/2025 05:13

@SErunneronly 4 days before his due date so he come at 39+3 :)

OP posts:
MimiBlush · 09/06/2025 05:08

My DH went to a wedding on the other side of the country when I was 37 weeks. I don’t have any family nearby. I just remember being grateful for a bit of peace! Granted it was my first though so didn’t have a toddler to look after as well. I think you’re unlikely to have an issue although I understand the apprehension.

spoonbillstretford · 09/06/2025 05:03

You'll be fine. It's possible but unlikely that the baby will arrive while he's away, first labours can be long anyway and it's only Portugal. He could come back early or cancel if required if there are problems before then.

We were away on our own little trip (just in the UK) when I was 37 weeks pregnant with DD1 as it was our first wedding anniversary. I still managed a fair bit of walking and felt fit and well.

SErunner · 09/06/2025 04:58

36 weeks is quite early. You’re pretty unlikely to have anything happen at that point. Was your first baby early? . I’d be inclined to go along with it.