Husband abroad for 2 nights when I will be 36 weeks pregnant

Personally I wouldn't stop him going but I would have plans in place in case things happened when he was away. 36 weeks is still quite early but you could have the baby early.

I'm quite an anxious person and worry alot but controlling what I can control really helps. If DH wants to go, I can't control that...but I can control what happens if anything happens when he isn't around.

Going back years ago, I had a similar situation, 1st on the way, wife at home, I had an unexpected business trip for the weekend, went with the huge caveat that if anything happens I'm getting home.
This is one of those 'what if' scenarios, he could be just having an ordinary day, everything happens, but he is stuck in a huge traffic jam because a lorry uploaded it's full load of spikey things!
You'll be fine, nothing untoward will happen, and at the end of the day you will have to children.
Simples

It is possible. DC2 came quicker and earlier than DC 1 while DH was away.
I found it quite worrying with DC3 even with DH just being at normal work as it could take him three hours to get home (40 minute journey and at least a couple of hours preparing to come home)

I agree with this.

The worrying thing in this situation is that OP’s husband has just gone ahead with the decision to go in spite of knowing how anxious this will make her. If he’d offered not to go, she might have found the confidence to encourage him to go on the trip anyway.

This wouldn’t even be on my radar as something to worry about. I’d be encouraging my husband to go and have fun and enjoy life.

Ha, so I was I, but that didn't stop DC1 being born. Dh worked an hour away and he only just made it.
I think OP's DH is being unrealistic and also selfish. If OP went into labour and he was told straightaway, it would still take the best part of a day to get back, assuming a seat on flight was available.

Are you close with your mum? Can she move in with you when he’s away and be with you?

I get it - I’d want him to choose me but I guess you chose someone who is that personality type and he’s being who he always has been

I don’t want to scaremonger, but I do think it’s worth validating that things can happen unexpectedly in those final weeks, so you’re completely right to have some level of concern. I had a placental abruption at 33 weeks and my husband had only just returned from a boys trip the day before. So yes, while the risk is low, it’s not zero, and you’re right to be mindful of that.

Lots of people do travel or take late babymoons in those final weeks, and most of the time it’s absolutely fine. But personally, I was just very glad we were at home when things went wrong. I still went to the hospital on my own due to toddler at home and no family close by.

If your first was close to due date, it is very unlikely your second will come so early. It’s true the birth will likely be faster, but not earlier. That’s a common misconception.

I wasn’t a high risk pregnancy, and on the Friday I saw my midwife she was happy not to see me again over Xmas all was good and I’d see her at 39 weeks.
I gave birth 48 hours later at bang on 36 weeks. I’d be upset were my dh to be away so close to a birth

My two arrived at 37 and 37+5. As it happened , with ds, DH would have in fact been away if he hadn't cancelled. As it was, my waters broke on both and I was in labour for more then 40 hours for both and he would have been able to fly back in time.

OP, have a plan B ready. If you go into labour while DP is away (obviously hope not) what is your plan? Where's DC1 going? Who can come with you? Pack your bag, I think you'll feel better if you cover all bases.

I’m going to disagree with most posters, I had my baby at 36 weeks, my husband was offshore it was his last trip, all happened very quickly. He didn’t get home in time and my friend came in with me, I was fine but I don’t think he was initially so no I don’t think he should go if it’s just did a jolly that he can get out of

unless you weren’t super early with no. 1 I wouldn’t worry.

save your hard ‘no’ for things when the baby is here and you’re navigating juggling two of them! Promise you’ll need him more then…

I thought this, then randomly was forced to have an EMCS at 36w.

My friend gave birth spontaneously at 35w. No issues, baby healthy, just premature.

I think it’s ridiculous to go away when your partner is this pregnant.

I wouldn’t be so worried about going into labour but might be worried about other complications that can crop up near the end of pregnancy, this happened to me and I was in and out of hospital from 36 weeks. Previous low risk pregnancy. Have you got a plan for if this happens? My DH wasn’t with me all the time but it was a stressful time and I needed his support, not to mention needed him to look after DC.

Heavily pregnant with a toddler solo is very different to a first pregnancy where you can just put your feet up, I wouldn’t be super happy about it.

Also do ask your friends OP. Even if they have children I’m sure they will be ok to be potential support in the case of an emergency.

I know people will poo poo it. But social events with work especially away days with senior leadership and executive are very useful if you want to move up or make face 2 face connections with wider based teams

its only portugal if he has to leave early he can but you are right to be upset if he decided to go without discussion.

It wouldn't cross my mind to have an issue with this.

I think it is very unlikely that you will go into labour while he is away.

Do you have a friend who would agree to be on standby that weekend, who could either take over the babysitting from your mum or go with you to hospital?

It's not like being a single mum and having to ask people who aren't your baby's immediate family to be on standby for several weeks. It's 48 hours during which you are very unlikely to go into labour, and once your husband gets home, if nothing has happened your friend can stand down.

I'd be more than happy to do that for a friend in the circumstances. Even a friend who lived an hour away, and even though I have children of my own. If anything I'd be almost disappointed if nothing happened while I was "on call".

At 36 weeks it should be fine, I would be more annoyed he’s leaving me to deal with the 2.5 year old towards the end of pregnancy when it’s harder to get by/get any sleep whatsoever than anxious about going into labour.
Neither of my babies “flew out” (your words 🤣) and my second was even later than the first. It is rather inconsiderate of him.

I’m pregnant (unexpectedly) and because it was unplanned, we have a plethora of gigs booked around the due date, across the country and the Continent. My DH is under strict instructions from me to attend all of them that are before/after ten days around the due date with a friend instead because I’ll be fine if anything happens - I’ll cope! Highly unlikely that you’ll go into labour at 36 weeks and if you do, he can come home. Like a pp said, he won't be able to do another trip like that for a while so I don’t see an issue with it. With all kindness, I think you might be overthinking this, OP.

36w is fine. Second labours are not always faster either…mine was slower.

I’d have him look after the other child so that the person who is carrying his second child doesn’t have to work quite so hard in the last weeks of pregnancy.

I would expect him not to swan off to another country for 4 nights leaving his wife in the late stages of pregnancy looking after a small child.
Being in the same country and being available if needed is not " putting his life on hold".