Husband abroad for 2 nights when I will be 36 weeks pregnant

Fair point - appreciate that will make it much harder. I am working 60-70 hrs a week, while running a large-scale 10 month home renovation and trying to prep for the baby with zero friends or family where we live. So I might not be getting the rest you think I am!

I wouldn’t t be thrilled about it. It’s one thing to be heavily pregnant. It’s quite another to be heavily pregnant with a toddler.

I would be anxious too. My 2nd baby came at 35 weeks even though I had a very normal uncomplicated pregnancy and my first came at 39 weeks.

Many women manage with their partners working away for weeks and months at a time, it’s not a race to the bottom I know that but it’s 2 NIGHTS not 2 weeks!…she’ll be fine. Tired but fine!

For me, it's not being away in case you go into early labour that's the issue. It's that he's away for 3 nights when you're heavily pregnant and needing to look after a toddler. I was absolutely shattered at the stage with my second.

Can your mother come stay with you that whole week? Just to give you a break.

Currently 39 weeks, my husband did a two day trip at 36 weeks for work - two days after our wedding as well 😂 nothing happened, it was brilliant to have the whole bed to myself.

I'd be asking for things like making sure his phones set up in a way that even in silent, it rings when you call, and that he'd answer it. I'd also be making sure this is the last trip for a while. Mine's cancelled all work trips post baby until at least September.

You will be completely fine. Don't give it another thought. It wouldn't have even occurred to me to worry about this. You'll have another month to go at that point. The chances of you going into labour are incredibly low.

My baby was already a month old by '36 weeks'.....

Parenting is a joint enterprise and this is a no-no for me.

I would tell him to go and with my blessing.

There's a 0% chance you're going to find it easier for him to do something like this once the baby arrives and for a good year (or more?) afterwards. It makes sense for him to go and foster those relationships while he can. And get him to make up the time now/when he's back so you can do stuff to relax and recharge before the baby arrives.

I think "terrified" is a bit extreme. You say you have your mum, no risk factors, you'll recognise the labour signs early so if he needs to come back or decide not to go nearer the time then that call can be made.

My third pregnancy was high risk and our son was born at 36 +4 weeks but your pregnancy isn't high risk so I wouldn't be worried ( my other two were born at between 39 and 40 weeks).
If you are really worried and it sounds like you have friends close by who could be available just ask one of them to go on standby for a couple of days while DH is away. I'm sure one of them could.
I honestly think you don't need to worry though. It's really unlikely your baby will come that early.

I would say he needs to cancel the trip; my own DS arrived unexpectedly at 34 weeks and a friend recently went into labour at 36 weeks (her partner was elsewhere in the UK/ had to get back quickly and he only just got back in time)….so on balance I’d be asking him to stay just in case.

Looking after a toddler at 36 weeks pregnant was exhausting for me. I appreciated that my husband did as much as possible to give me breaks.

I wouldn't say that it's totally wrong for your DH to go, but it isn't exactly selfless and loving.

I think it’s very silly of him and yes, I would be unhappy he’s prioritising a golfing holiday over family. My first was born (naturally) just bang on 37 weeks, perfectly healthy pregnancy and birth, had her at home actually, waters broke spontaneously and she was here 11 hours later. I was nervous about Dh going and visiting friends 2 hours away from 35 weeks because he wouldn’t have had an easy way to get back to us if I went into labour (zero family help).

i was working abroad, in another country to DH, until I could no longer fly at 36 weeks, so this seems alarmist to me, assuming you’re not having a problem pregnancy. I’d be more pissed off I was having to parent a toddler solo, though.

its not about the faint chance you go into labour early. It’s that he’s going away Tuesday to Friday while you’re heavily pregnant, leaving you to solo parent your toddler when he doesn’t need to.

aak him why he thinks that’s the right thing to do?

Father of two. One came at 30wks, the other at 36wks (both kids are perfect, we were very lucky). In both cases the entire birth played out in less than 24hrs, so needless to say I think it is a terrible idea to be going away at that time.

She didn’t say her mum is staying, she said her mum would have to look after her toddler if she went into labour.

I was admitted to hospital at 36 weeks. I hadn’t even finished work. Pre-eclampsia.

A lot of men don't need encouragement to " go and have fun and enjoy themselves" . It's their default position.
Leave all the child care and the management of the home to the wife/ partner. And expect her to fit in a full time paid job outside the home as well, in most cases. That's what equality means don't you know?

I take it you haven't suffered pregnancy complications or neo natal death as some of us have. Otherwise you wouldn't be so blasé about the woman taking on all the responsibility of child birth whilst the man goes and " has fun" .

I didn’t say it was impossible, I said it was unlikely

DH was away with the military when I was expecting first baby. He came back at about 36 weeks. I had a reserve birth partner ready to go but DS hung on to the due date. Second child arrived a week after due date.

I think you’ll be fine. So unreasonable to tell DH not to go.

She won't be alone, her mum is staying. So she's only worried about what will happen if she goes into labour.

It’s not about the labour being unlikely, it’s about a heavily pregnant woman being left alone to parent a toddler for 4 days when she’s probably knackered and could do with the other parent being around to help.

I’d bet my house that if the H was pregnant, he’d want his wife around to share the parenting load. By 36 weeks he’d probably be wearing the dressing gown of doom and claiming to be incapable of cooking, cleaning and parenting alone 🙄

Let’s see if you’re feeling quite so charitable when you’re on pregnancy number 2 with an active toddler having had far less rest throughout the whole pregnancy because of said toddler.

My babies all came at the exact same gestation and this has been the case for lots of people I know. So I think you’ll be ok!