Dd saying I look fat

Definitely important to teach them not to comment on people’s bodies/appearances. Fine to comment on someone looking nice or their clothing where they have made a choice to wear something.

I tell my DD she’s gorgeous/beautiful but haven’t said this is about how she looks, it’s how she is. Tell her she’s a beautiful person. We might say ‘you look lovely’ or say we like her outfit but I wouldn’t say ‘you’ve got a nice nose/tummy/face’. I am conscious as my looks were commented a lot as a child and though it was largely positive it made me very uncomfortable and made me feel like that was what I was valued for.

Much better to compliment on what someone has done/chosen.

I gave you life darling and for that you need to be respectful- or just ignore her when she says it and move away

? Eh?

Well it depends on height! But for an average height woman (5ft5/5ft6) a size 16 is definitely fat.

Sorry, but that's just a fact.

They may look nice, pretty, sexy, whatever. But they are still overweight and being overweight isn't healthy even if it is normalised in the UK and USA

"I think I'd be saying something along the lines of commenting on any aspect of someone's appearance is just Something That We Don't Do."

Just a total lie. We all do comment if someone we know's very dressed up for a special occasion or has a new haircut.

I’ve had similar with my 7 year old recently. I’ve always said it’s not nice to comment on someones appearance and that what someone looks like is the least interesting thing about them. I also said that I am fat (I’m a size 22) and that’s a fact, just like some people are tall. All that matters is that someone is healthy or trying to be healthy. I wanted to take back ownership of ‘fat’ I am fat, it’s a fact.

Indeed. I’ve led a happy, fulfilling and active life at all sorts of sizes. And if any of my kids end up bigger than ‘ideal’ I’d hate for them to feel the kind of shame posters like this seem to think they should.

Size 16 is the average dress size in the UK. If a woman this size is well proportioned with an hour glass figure it's one of the more attractive sizes,not too thin, not too fat.

Except it's not true. Someone who's very happy with their figure would generally (I know not always!) welcome a remark.
You could say it's better not to comment I suppose.

OTOH a 6 year old told me I had a big tummy right after I'd lost some kilos to be quite close to my ideal weight. I shrugged and assumed she's comparing to her own belly. Even her brother said she says it to everyone. So if you're not already sensitive about something, the comments of little kids aren't a big deal.

I tell my kids I worked hard for my belly! Lots of cake eating, hosting babies and sending them down food! We have a laugh about it!

But seriously... I try and explain what kind of things are ok to say to me, to others etc.. but (until recently) I have been fat. So it has been true! It's ok to be fat, to recognise it, to use it as a way to teach your children and educate them about appropriate and inappropriate thigs to say, and to talk to them about different factors that contribute to weight gain and how one might loose weight and get healthy, such as by swimming, running around, playing and eating good nutritious food. And talk to them about what makes it hard for some people to stay healthy and eat well and exercise appropriately..

🙄 Yes, because only those with a healthy BMI could possibly have a good life.

Any friends recently had siblings and she's maybe hoping for the same? Or conversely absolutely horrified at the thought?!
I think I'd be saying something along the lines of commenting on any aspect of someone's appearance is just Something That We Don't Do.

I would say everyone is different shapes and sizes and we change through life..but saying things like that can upset people and people will think she's a bully.

Equally, I never wanted any of them to think that ‘fat’ was an insult.

I would say it isn't kind to make comments to people about their appearance (or talk about their appearance to other people) but I wouldn't say that it's not kind to call people fat. That plays into the idea that there's something bad about being fat.

When I was larger, if the kids ever said anything I’d just say something like “yes, all bodies are different. My tummy is a bit bigger than some at the moment cause it stretched when I was pregnant, and I like cake a bit too much. But I’m pretty proud of my body, it’s done some amazing things, like give birth to you! And I’m pretty strong etc”

I always made a point of never seeming phased by comments, or of being ashamed of my body.

I have also said to them at various points that it is always safer not to comment on other people’s bodies, cause you never know what they might be self conscious about, and it might make them sad.

Difficult. As not clear she was insulting you, she might not see it as a bad thing. Do yon want to explain to her that people often don’t want to be far or be seen as fat and therefore it’s not kind? I might be more inclined to say, yes i know I could lose a bit of weight but it’s hard for me as I feel hungry a lot. And I’m a bit sad about this, so I don’t need you to remind me? But I get that others wouldn’t want to say this.

I would say ‘yes’ I am too fat .. we all need to be a healthy weight for us to have a good life and I will be there any time soon !

She’s 7 and she’s speaking like this to you!! Time she was told firmly and repeatedly if needed, that these comments are not welcome or acceptable from her.

A wonderful way to make the most of a real learning moment, indeed.

Maybe her friend's getting a new sibling, or a teacher is pregnant-sometimes that gets them noticing, but like others say, point out why we don't talk about other people's bodies. Might be worth explaining why people might be different sizes-a colleague who put on a lot of weight due to illness had people far older that your daughter being rude to her.

My mum (famously) was out collecting things for a raffle with me (aged 4ish, so 35 years ago!) said (as one woman answered the door), “mummy! That lady looks just like mr greedy!”. Omfg is all I can imagine she thought.

As a child, my DD was taught it's better to be honest. However under the age of 10, she'd have no tact or filter!!

She very loudly told the local chipshop owner that his fishcakes were horrible. It's true actually..

Even worse, she pointed out 'that man's dressed like a woman' in the Sainsbury's store 🙈 quite loudly. I wanted to run and hide but apologised instead.

OP, I'd use it as a lesson as such and explain that's it's rude to say that to you and you must NEVER say that to anyone as it's upsetting.

I think I’d go with. Yes, I am a bit overweight at the moment but I’m trying to make healthier choices. But it’s not very nice to tell people that they’re fat, as you could make them upset.

no point normalising being overweight but also she needs to know that it’s not polite to point it out.

This is simple and has the benefit of being true.

I would tell her that it’s very rude to comment on other people’s appearance in a negative way and if she has nothing nice to say she needs to not say anything. That goes for things other than body shape and 7 is plenty old enough to be told that. You don’t want her thinking it’s ok to make rude comments at school or whatever about other people’s big nose/sticky out ears/other perceived flaw.