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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think there’s a real crisis in men being able to express how they truly feel about life and society?

365 replies

TheGentleSwan · 08/06/2025 18:56

It feels like, in the West, men are struggling to be honest about their emotions, their frustrations, and how they view the world. Whether it’s societal pressure, fear of judgement, or just a lack of spaces to talk openly, it seems like many men keep things bottled up. AIBU to think this is a real issue?

OP posts:
TheNightSurgeon · 08/06/2025 19:14

Men having any negativity from a system they set up, and benefit from really isn't an issue in my eyes.

I'll keep my sympathies for people who are oppressed in a society that was never built for them.

WhatNoRaisins · 08/06/2025 19:12

NotReallyJustAtTheMoment · 08/06/2025 19:08

I think that for good, kind men, life is very challenging just now.

They have to deal with the awful men too and are stuck between the justifiably angry women and the awful men. It's very fiddly.

I think this is a problem. A lot of women are so sick of men's shit that there are inevitably going to be times where we can't muster sympathy even when it's deserved.

HRTQueen · 08/06/2025 19:11

I’m a bit tired of hearing this

work in mh and you will see the difference in how men are treated compared to women. It’s certainly with more compassion

it’s not for women to fix this if so many men are unhappy with how society is they have far more power to make changes

Panterusblackish · 08/06/2025 19:11

No i think there is absolutely no shortage of men expressing their opinions on everything, everywhere, all the time.

EleanorReally · 08/06/2025 19:09

Men are making remarkable steps to improve this.
as said above, it is conditioned into them
not a new thing

HowardTJMoon · 08/06/2025 19:09

I think you're right that many men struggle to express emotions. We're often raised/socialised with the view that the only acceptable emotions that can be expressed are happiness and anger. I've recently attended a personal and professional development course aimed at men where this is a topic that came up a lot.

There are a fair number of efforts underway to encourage men to speak up. It's certainly a lot better than it was 30 years ago when I could have done with something like that.

This is a male problem whose solution needs to be, and is, spearheaded by men. But I have to say that the toxic views of what men should be like aren't solely held by men. There's a fair number of women out there who are repulsed by the idea of a man showing vulnerability or weakness and that doesn't help.

5128gap · 08/06/2025 19:08

One thing we don't go short of ime is hearing what men are frustrated by and what they believe to be wrong with the world. Its pretty much constant messaging, either verbally or via their behaviour. To suggest they have no platform when they're front and centre of everything all the time is not in my view reasonable at all. I think what they may be finding is that they are probably not as good as listening as they are at talking, so don't tend to hear each other. So the ones with the most power continue to do as they choose with no regard for those further down the pecking order.

NotReallyJustAtTheMoment · 08/06/2025 19:08

I think that for good, kind men, life is very challenging just now.

They have to deal with the awful men too and are stuck between the justifiably angry women and the awful men. It's very fiddly.

crackofdoom · 08/06/2025 19:05

I think things have moved on. The majority of men seem adept at using therapy speak to justify treating women terribly nowadays.

Dominicus · 08/06/2025 19:03

Mainly for those on social media.

2024onwardsandup · 08/06/2025 19:00

A VAST majority of public discourse is dominated by men. As is a vast amount of private discourse.

if they can’t express their feelings they should sort themselves out - they have the power to shape society

WhatNoRaisins · 08/06/2025 19:00

I think there's a lot of very toxic influences for men. Agree that I don't think that women can really solve that.

Holluschickie · 08/06/2025 18:59

No.

Picklechicken · 08/06/2025 18:59

Hmm. I’m not sure. I think we are all sick of men and their opinions to be honest. I think on the whole men have no issue whatsoever giving their views on things, even when it’s unwanted.

(And yep I know mental health is a slightly different issue, my own dh has severe depression and is on life long anti depressants).

cardibach · 08/06/2025 18:58

Men’s mental health is an issue, yes. They have all the space they need to talk though. It’s just conditioning that stops them. I don’t think this is for women to solve.