To think there’s a real crisis in men being able to express how they truly feel about life and society?

Men have plenty of space to talk, and boy, do they enjoy making use of it.

You can barely move online without bumping into some man with a microphone, wittering on about the so-called male loneliness epidemic or men's mental health.

And they never have anything worthwhile to say or anything with insight as to why that is. They never internalise why they specifically have these issues and how they can go about fixing them. It always seems to boil down to an excuse to blame women or expect women to swoop in and save the day for these so-called leaders and "problem-solvers."

It's just an opportunity to bleat and moan, bleat and moan. If these men were offering real insight, I'd be more interested in hearing them out, but as it is, it just seems an opportunity for men to feel sorry for themselves and never figure out any worthwhile solutions beyond "but the women's should help us." Nah, fuck that.

I have no issue with listening and talking to the men in my life if they have issues. Not at all.

It's not women who uphold the "big boy's don't cry" or "man up" mantras, either. It's men. Women, for the most part, welcome vulnerability from men. What we don't welcome is those men using that vulnerability to manipulate compliance from women.

If men are genuinely having these issues on a large, societal scale, it's for men to get their heads together and problem solve. After all, I thought that was men's strong suit? Aren't they the natural born leaders in society? So, this should be a piece of cake, piece of pie.

I think it’s very interesting that men being unable to talk about their feelings is viewed as a crisis in a way that the commoness of women being SA and abused but these crimes being drastically under reported is not.

And it really makes me not interested in helping men who have ignored problems that are mainly suffered by women for years.

Nope. Absolutely not. They have zero trouble approaching women in a threatening manner , waggling their fingers in our faces, calling us cunts for daring to challenge them in heated situations. And yes, this has happened to me at least 3 times in the last 2 years

Are women treated less compassionately than men in a mental health context? I find that incredibly hard to believe. If anything, I think that women are given more of a pass for erratic behaviour and have downright bad behaviour handwaved because of their mental health. A great example of this is Katie Price: a lot of people seem to feel that she is beyond criticism for her disgusting behaviour because she has mental issues.

@TheGentleSwan you mentioned "lack of real emotional tools or community".

I don't know what you mean in terms of emotional tools or what you expect anyone to do about it. It's my understanding that schools and colleges do talk about male emotions but obviously I don't go to a school or college so I can't be 100% sure.

Other than that, I don't know what you expect. I'm puzzled to see this topic here. There are definitely male centric forums where you would get more relevant feedback about what men may or may not need. Posting it here feels like you're presenting it as a problem for women to fix. Guess what? We've got enough on our plate. Particularly with things like getting the law to take it seriously when women are victims of crime. And Jury are told that they consented. - see "we can't consent to this"'online.

I don't see this, what you've posted here, as being a woman's issue to be frank. I'm actually not even sure if it is an issue.

You mention lack of community. That is affecting a lot of people, women and men.

I've long suffered with mental health issues and I do try and approach from a position of sympathy. However, I don't think men would be terribly responsive to something on a group Level unless it was started by men anyway.

There are men's sheds in many areas.

in general, we do seem to have a lot of threads where posters feel vaguely that "something must be done". So why they don't go out and do it rather than posting about it, I really don't know. A PP has mentioned that new dads might need more support. Honestly, where is all this magic support supposed to come from?

If you use MN as a basis, there aren't any groups or individuals left that don't need support! It's kind of nuts.

💯

The broader cultural pattern that affects every bloody woman on earth is male violence.
Not men being afraid to express their feelings.

"Your idea of women changing and men being great all of a sudden is a reach."

It is a reach but then I didn't say it.

"You can't watch a lot of films or TV if you haven't seen anything that doesn't portray men as big and strong and into cars and sports etc."

It was a generalisation, which you seem to be allowed to do in spades.

But as this isn't going to go anywhere,

It never does.

I will leave you all to it.
Be well and be happy

Very good points. Men are socialised to portray ourselves as capable and to not show weakness. The only emotions we're supposed to show are happiness or anger. The majority of that socialisation pressure comes from other boys and men.

We're not supposed to be weak, or need help. It's a big hurdle to overcome when you do need help as if you're already struggling, seeking help can seem like an even bigger failure.

To be fair there are a number of male-led efforts to get men to open up. Andy's Man Club, the Men's Sheds association etc. The bugger of it is though is that the kind of men who are likely to walk through the doors of those kinds of places probably aren't the kind of men who'd benefit the most. Things are better than they used to be but it's a slow process.

I am really baffled as to what spaces women have that men don't. Any man.

OP, remind me why we care.

My attitude is that I'm far more concerned about the issues women face than the 'issues' men face.

When men start giving a shit about us then I may start giving a shit about them.

You can't watch a lot of films or TV if you haven't seen anything that doesn't portray men as big and strong and into cars and sports etc.

Your idea of women changing and men being great all of a sudden is a reach.

If misogyny disappeared tomorrow there would be no 'misandry'.

If 'misandry' disappeared tomorrow there would 100% still be misogyny.

They created the actions, and are now complaining because they have a reaction.

God yes, men have too much say on everything

This in spades.

I think we hear quite enough from men. I've certainly been hearing what they think about society/women/themselves/any subject they care to consider, all my life. Loud. And. Clear.

Even that Netflix drama - Adolescence - we heard plenty from and about men, all the way through. Not so much about the murdered teenager though. I mean I know she was dead by the time the cameras rocked up, but still.

What I would like is for men to do a bit more listening, to women, and for boys to do a bit more listening, to girls.

Then this is a conversation for men to have with other men isn’t it? Because If it’s other men stopping them expressing their feelings then there your issue.

Why do you think it’s for women to solve? And you do think it’s a women’s problem or else why post this on a predominately female forum…

Yeah, that’s what they are talking about… 🙄

Your attitude is certainly part of the problem. as are many of the attitudes shown on here by women.

But as I have said society is the problem.
Boys don't cry
Boys will be boys
Boys should be big and strong
Boys should be into sports
Boys should like cars
Boys shouldn't show emotion.

Look at how men at shown in films,
Or how they are shown on tv
Very few show men as normal people

and it goes on.

You can claim that these attitudes only come from men but they don't.
If you truly want equality/equity then everybody has to buy into it.
Not just the women but the men too.

ds girlfriend has told me at school all they talk about is boys/men’s mental health

they never explore the issues girls and young women are facing

in 2025 the male population is still more important

This is also true. Rich white straight men benefit from the patriarchy the most.

I think it's important to discuss the lack of proactivity here. Why aren't men taking responsibility and seeing a therapist or starting clubs and charities?

I was reading the other day about a woman who set up a mentoring service for young boys because their dads had abandoned them.

Why aren't men teaching their sons how to express themselves? Many male criminals have been abandoned by their dads.