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Original poster

Would you do this?

54 replies

auntannie · 08/06/2025 17:43

Attend a hen do if it meant a £90 train journey and 3.5 hour travel time each way? Wouldn’t be staying overnight because the bride is pregnant and it’s just going to be a quiet meal/get together.
Friend is close but don’t see each other often due to distance. I love her dearly but the thought of attending is giving me anxiety because life is already totally manic with kids, work and other obligations. But she made the effort for my hen do (albeit quite a few years ago) and I just feel like a shit person.

OP posts:
NuffSaidSam · 08/06/2025 18:18

If she's a close friend and she made an effort for you then I would return the favour and make the effort for her.

spoonbillstretford · 08/06/2025 18:17

I would but would also book a hotel and stay over. Would love a low key hen do and a chance to do something by myself tge next day.

Enrichetta · 08/06/2025 18:15

HatsOffToThePigeons · 08/06/2025 17:46

I would if she was a close friend.

Definitely. Make a day of it instead of seeing it as a chore. Assuming she really is a good friend and your husband is willing to step up. And have a great day!

Whaleandsnail6 · 08/06/2025 18:14

I would give ahe is such a good friend and made the effort for you

I wouldn't do the travel in one day if I could afford a cheap room for the night... I'd stay over and have a relaxing night after the meal.

greencartbluecart · 08/06/2025 18:14

I would look to stay over the night and catch up with the bride over the weekend also

Rhaidimiddim · 08/06/2025 18:11

No. I'd send the hen a lovely message, though, to head off any bad feelings.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 08/06/2025 18:10

Yes I would in this case

Fontet · 08/06/2025 18:05

Absolutely not

feelingbleh · 08/06/2025 18:03

If its a close friend you don't see often make a weekend out of it and spend some time with her

EggnogNoggin · 08/06/2025 18:01

Bex5490 · 08/06/2025 17:56

The kids can miss out for one weekend I’m sure. You sound like life is a stress so take the opportunity to watch a box set alone with a bottle of wine 🍷

Show quote history

I think of you're generally stressed this is a great chance to press the "fuck it" button and do something for you and rest and recharge.

anotherside · 08/06/2025 17:59

Can’t you make it into an overnight break for yourself? Would make it more worthwhile.

babystarsandmoon · 08/06/2025 17:58

No. What’s the point when it could be so much closer to home?

£90 could cover the meal and drinks if staying local.

Edit. Guessing you live 3.5 hrs away from her.

whynotmereally · 08/06/2025 17:56

I would do an overnight but not all in one day no. Could you turn it onto a mini break go to a spa or something?

Bex5490 · 08/06/2025 17:56

auntannie · 08/06/2025 17:54

Money is very much an object but I suppose I could try and make a mini break out of it. The issue is I have dc who have weekend commitments (which Dh would take care of if I went) so they’d have to miss them.
I do value the friendship which is why I feel bad about it. I have a very busy few months with a few family occasions, work commitments and other stuff. I just feel a bit overwhelmed.

The kids can miss out for one weekend I’m sure. You sound like life is a stress so take the opportunity to watch a box set alone with a bottle of wine 🍷

IwasDueANameChange · 08/06/2025 17:55

For a uk based one night hen do, i would go. Can you look at a coach for cheaper travel? It is difficult when you live a few hours from friends.

RebelliousHoping · 08/06/2025 17:55

No. I cry spending £50 to get on the train at East Anglia only hour to London, to go there and that’s without underground.

Would they come and see you on your sick bed?

just read an article about a 44 year old on a hen party who did a party trick they were to old for (their words) ending up fracturing their neck 20 hour window to sort, ceremony in hospital.

God, it makes you think.

Bex5490 · 08/06/2025 17:54

Redpeach · 08/06/2025 17:53

Yes but i would turn it into an overnight break and have a lovely rest

This - I’d probably book myself a hotel and use it as an excuse to get away from my kids for the night!

Purplecatshopaholic · 08/06/2025 17:54

I’d make the effort as she did it for me. Then I’d stay over in a hotel and relax.

Original poster
auntannie · 08/06/2025 17:54

Money is very much an object but I suppose I could try and make a mini break out of it. The issue is I have dc who have weekend commitments (which Dh would take care of if I went) so they’d have to miss them.
I do value the friendship which is why I feel bad about it. I have a very busy few months with a few family occasions, work commitments and other stuff. I just feel a bit overwhelmed.

OP posts:
Redpeach · 08/06/2025 17:53

Yes but i would turn it into an overnight break and have a lovely rest

Koalafan · 08/06/2025 17:51

I probably wouldn't.

Anon765898 · 08/06/2025 17:49

Is money an object for you? If not I’d go then treat myself to a night in a local hotel, just because the hen do has finished doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy a glass of wine, long soak in a nice bath and a peaceful nights sleep!

SleepingisanArt · 08/06/2025 17:48

A 7 hour round trip for lunch is quite a big ask. (I did 4 hours each way on Christmas day to cook lunch for elderly relatives but the driving was exhausting even on quiet roads!) Could you turn it into a mini break for the family without it costing the earth? Otherwise you might have to decline....

Jackiepumpkinhead · 08/06/2025 17:48

No.

TanyaMcQuoidHunt · 08/06/2025 17:48

You don't sound as if you want to go and it won't be a big celebration by the sounds of things, so I don't think the bride will mind too much either. She's probably got more important things to worry about tbh if she's pregnant and planning a wedding.