DH has upset our eldest following their relationship break up

He's revolting

How can you bear to look at him?

This is a very misogynistic way to speak about women, it's extremely concerning.
This is the part I'd be worried about.

It is a derogatory way to describe women, based on the way they dress or how sexually liberated they are. Sounds like bloody Andrew Tate at the dinner table.

Your DS is right to be pissed off, and I hope he knows better than to listen to his sexist dad.

That's literally what I was about to post!

You can't honestly expect anyone to say you're unreasonable and that your husband makes some good points? Seriously, you must know how repulsive he is?

You're asking the wrong questions. The only question you should be asking yourself at this point is how quickly you can push a divorce through.

How old is your son?

I’m not in the slightest shocked that the son of a man who decides his son needs some tough love isn’t good at talking about his feelings.

I’ve come to the conclusion that the majority of men are absolutely clueless when it comes to child-rearing, relationships and anything even remotely emotive. Tough-love = not showing your emotions so I don’t have to deal with them. Instead of dealing with the heartbreak of a relationship ending, go and get drunk and shag the local tart. Jesus, no wonder men are emotional cripples If this is what they’re taught.

It’s never too late to teach your children how to communicate about their emotions. If they’re boys, they need to know that vocalising feelings doesn’t make them less of a man.

Your son doesn’t need tough love, he just needs love. Go give him a hug.

Harm to who is the question. Says a lot about his view of women don’t you think?

My late husband was a lot older than me. He was a vicar. On one occasion when he put the phone down, he said Mr. so-and-so had died and they asked him to arrange the funeral. I asked what he died of, and he said he doesn't know, he didn't ask.

He said if people wanted him to know they would tell him voluntarily.

Wait for someone to tell you something in their lives. They will tell you when they are ready - if they want you to know.

Local tart and his description is vile. So someone who dresses like that is up for it with anyone? Is he going to find 'a local tart' to get over you if you ever break up? I wouldn't be having that talk, especially infront of the kids.

God, that's revolting. I'd be so annoyed if DH spoke to DS about women like that.

I’m slightly staggered that you need to come to MN to know the answer to this, @HanTalks. And that you have a DD too.

Stuck up cow and local tart is disgusting, misogynistic language. If someone spoke that way around my sons I'd be fuming. What a fabulous male role model. I wonder if your DH had anything to do with the GF deciding to end things. If that kind of language was normal in the family of a man I was dating, I wouldn't want to be settling down with him.

I had a girl mate who’s mum took against me because I was so shy. It happens. At school I was shy and people called me rude.

Your husband sound like an unpleasant character in a 1970's sit-com. What a crude, insensitive and misogynistic comment.

Is your husband's name Bernard Manning?

I vote LTB (my first after 20 years on MN)

Aren't you embarrassed by your husband?

Edit: I realise now she wasn’t an arsehole, I presume your husband is a. An arse or B. Can’t think of something bitchy to say RE her.

he sounds like Jay’s dad off inbetweeners talking about Chloe lol

Dads can be tactless w stuff like this (RE saying stupid cow if the girlfriend was genuinely cruel and horrible, my dad has said my exes are arseholes during breakups) but I couldn’t get over the tart comment. Probably his clumsy attempt at laddish humour but you need to tell your husband privately that it’s disrespectful and inappropriate.

I cant imagine not liking someone because they are shy or quiet. They are hardly negative personality traits. The son probably likes more introverted people after having an opinionated Dad. I am sure the poor girl will of picked up on the father's beliefs as judging by what he said, I cant imagine he is sweetness and light the rest of the time. The poor girl has had a lucky escape.

Your husband is a misogynistic arsehole

Oh the absolute worst kind of British man. Thinks he’s Jack the lad and still the man, old now but never lost his disdain for women or his potty mouth. Thankfully your DS has a better attitude. I can imagine he’s had enough of his father for other reasons too if that’s an example of how he speaks. I just wonder how you all put up with him. And also why you started a thread, wonder what you thought people would say! have you OP put up with this so long you think this is what all men are like?

I'm sure it was as obvious as sky-writing to the girlfriend too.

You husband is a vile misogynist.

That is the fucking problem.

Poor DS and even more, poor DD.

Have you only just discovered his views on women OP?

DH then said to him ‘cheer up son, you’ll be better off without the stuck up cow’ and suggested he goes out with his mates to find a ‘local tart’ to cheer him up.

So fucking glad I'm single.

I wonder if this poor girl had the size of your husband, hence her tomb-like silence at family get togethers.

Well I'd hate to see what he says when he intends to be offensive

Poor kid growing up in a house with that as a role model.

He’s broken up with his girlfriend and instead of getting support (or even just not talking about it) he gets the most idiotic response ever and he apparently needs ‘tough love’.
What a charmer your DH sounds.

Ugh, are you really OK with someone talking about women like this? - never mind in front of your children. He's disgusting.