Sitting in a Premier Inn

Send him the bill too

… and use his debit card to pay for it! 😜

Good for you. Enjoy your night and have a good breakfast in the morning. Love a premier Inn breakfast.

The silent treatment is just another form of abuse which eventually kills love and respect in a relationship. There’s no point in him apologising when he knows he’ll do it again. Him saying he’s sorry and doesn’t know why he does it isn’t good enough, they are empty words. There is a reason, whether it’s a form of control, learned behaviour, hidden anger etc etc.
My DH used to do this, my stomach would churn and I’d try to stop it happening by planning my sentences so as not to upset or annoy him.
One day I packed everything I owned into bags and suitcases and disappeared, he literally came home from work to find me gone and the drawers and wardrobes empty of my things. I blocked him on my phone and he had no clue where I was.

After a couple of days he contacted my parents in distress, they contacted me and I went back after a couple of weeks to hear what he had to say.
After a heart to heart he told me this had been the behaviour of his mother with him and his father, except she could go weeks without speaking (she did it with me once and it was the first and last time, I never spoke to her again).
Clearly the silent treatment was a learned process from childhood, and as soon as it hit him and he realised he was doing to me what his mother did to him it stopped.
It was a great many years ago, but if I ever feel an inkling of that behaviour from him now I immediately ask, ‘Am I getting the silent treatment’? It’s enough to snap him out of it and tell me what the problem is rather than shutting down.
If like me you love your husband, and generally your relationship is good, it’s worth saving, but he needs to open up to you or seek help from a counsellor. One thing is certain, you shouldn’t tolerate the abuse for a moment longer.
I genuinely wish you luck.

6 months??? thats really sad! but I had a good laugh at the description of the bedroom which started the long sulk! that preceded the long goodbye written by raymond chandler! 😂

I’m not agreeing with everyone else, if he reacts like his leave him, don’t put up with it. Don’t leave your children in that situation and atmosphere,

my friends dh used to go and stay in hotels after agreements, he would go “so she could think about what she’s done and then apologise” I found it very manipulative and abusive. He always had to be in control of everything.

this happened regularly, as he wanted to teach her a lesson and make her change.

Well done op, I’d use this as the template for any other sulks. Have a bag ready and book yourself into a hotel for two nights.

Go to work tomorrow and if he’s still in a sulk when you get home, book another night.

Once he’s out of his sulk, don’t cry, ignore him if he cries and tell him you’re sick of it, and not interested in his empty apologies and if he does it again you’ll do the same and book a hotel.

Hopefully he’ll realise his attempts at control don’t work and stop it. Chances are he’ll up his game and change tact. I presume he’s sulking about something you did, he’ll tell you and you won’t do it again. Just control I’m afraid

Absolutely this. He isn't great ffs! He made you leave cos life with him is shit! Raise the bar ! Leave him please otherwise you've another 30 years of this misery
I had an awful sulking exh. I now have amazing life guesswhat no man bringing me down!

Lived with boyfriend like this, wasted a few years of my life with him.
A sulker is a nightmare, it’s psychological torture.
Enjoy your dinner and hotel stay 🌸

I replied to someone and put that in the wrong place, original post in right place.
Sorry to confuse. x

It’s a form of control, manipulation and bulling !

If my DH sulked like this I think I'd genuinely love him a little bit less each time. It's a form of emotional abuse.

Have you? How? I thought it was brilliant!

I also booked into a Premier Inn not that long ago after an upsetting row one evening (different circumstances, not a sulking issue). Initially I was just going for a drive to think things through and headed for the coast (about 45 mins away) then I thought actually I'd quite like some peaceful time just for me. Stopped off at Tesco for toothbrush and a T-shirt to sleep in, nibbles, fruit and a couple of those little cans of cocktails and after some easy-going TV, had a great nights' sleep in a big bed with nobody snoring! Returned in the morning to a partner who'd had plenty of time to think about his actions, realise that I wasn't all to blame and apologised. Obviously this course of action wouldn't work / isn't possible for everyone. .

Well done, proud of you. Enjoy your evening.
His redeeming quality is that he apologises. That's massive because the worst part of sulking is the way they make you think they are in the right.

This was what I was trying to say, thanks.

I'd book a second night.
Give him time to get over himself and realise this can't continue.

It's hard to know how bad it is. I think all of us have the odd "I vant to be alone" moody moments. DH can be like that now and again, as can I when he's pissing me off. It happened last week when we were on a cruise of all places. He was being short with me for no particular reason and told me I was getting on his nerves with all the questions I was asking him (he wasn't feeling very well though admittedly), so I thought "ah feck it, you grumpy bastard, I'm on holiday and i'm here to enjoy it not have my mood brought down by you" so I calmly told him I was going out on my own and left him in the cabin. I had a lovely time out on the top deck walking around in the sun and sea air. I stayed out there for a good while and felt great afterwards.

When I went back to the cabin he asked me where he'd been and I told him. He seemed in a bit better mood so I assumed he'd had a bit of a snooze and felt a bit better. Was clearly a bit less grumpy as was being nice and interested then and we were back to normal. He's not an apologiser, and will never change. His dad is the same. His mum and dad are still together and they have clearly got used to giving each other a wide berth when the other is being a prick and accept the way it is.

I feel like DH and I are going the same way. I used to feel resentful when I was younger but I don't anymore. I just accept that he can be a div sometimes and I'm sure he feels the same about me at times too when I'm being a div. I joke to myself that I my menopause is to blame and his manopause is.😆

I hope you work it out, OP. I think you can just enjoy the space. It might give him food for thought. You can go back and tell him how much you enjoyed the peace and quiet and lack of sulky atmosphere.

Six months, utter silence, was the maximum I put up with, for getting rid of purple and orange paint in the main bedroom of our new house, which had clearly been painted at night, by a blind dog, using a psychopathic mole as creative director, to a beautifully curated Little Green Slaked Lime, Homes and Gardens centrefold.

Reader I divorced him.

Sadly, I took 20 more years to do it, as I stayed for the children. It is now clear to me, and the children, that I was the idiot.

sorry put this reply in wrong place

I've been here.

He's lovely most of the time and he was.
Other times he wouldn't speak to me, sometimes for days.
One time we had a row and I got into bed once he was asleep - when he woke up he shouted at me for not sleeping in the spare room.
He was lovely most of the time.
We went on holiday with his parents, many times, one morning he went out to get the breakfast and had lined up a shag during the time he was away. He didn't go through with it.
Cos he was lovely most of the time.
Once I made him so angry he hit me, but I had made him angry.
He was lovely most of the time.
On many occasions we would arrange to go out with friends and he would get annoyed about something, so we would be late or not go at all and I had to tell some tale, make up an excuse.
He sprung buying 'commitment' rings on me - in a little jewellery shop while on holiday where his parents live. The next day his father rings to say how upset his mother is and he goes to see them by himself. He comes back with his mother in the car and says not to mention the rings or any wedding.
We go to the local registry office and have the interviews to get married. Then it is dropped, not spoken about again.
He was lovely most of the time.

And when I decided to leave - moved into the spare room, he got all of our friends on side. I would come back from work and look up at our flat and force myself to go in, not knowing how his mood would be.
He told me he was bringing a 'shag' back to our flat and could I be out between certain times.
He was lovely most of the time.
And on the morning I moved out - said I didn't know what to do - he said I'd had time to think about it, and then went to his gym session.
but he was lovely most of the time.

He is emotionally abusive and controlling. Why do you stay with him OP?

Sulking and this behavior around it is a form of domestic abuse

YANBU. Next time make it a 4 star. The time after that a mini break at a spa.

He doesn’t know why he does it? I bet he doesn’t pull the sulking trick with his boss or his friends though does he? So he can control it - just chooses to make you suffer. Stay put and let him stew.