Family mocking partner’s speech - AIBU to be upset?

It’s nonsense isn’t it ? Sometimes the ableism and ignorance shown on MN is utterly breathtaking.

No-one with a disability or health condition - formally diagnosed or otherwise - owes anyone an explanation of it. There’s no need for anyone else to ‘understand’ - it is what it is. And what it is, is personal and no-one elses’ business.

And it might interest you to know that you can legally be defined as a disabled person under the Equality Act without a formal diagnosis.

Are you going to allow your child be mocked should they have issues with their speech?

They will be fair game too for your vile family.
Poor man.

They sound horrible, but you also need to step up more for him. Leaving early, making an excuse and sending a message after is fairly passive. Start actually defending him when these comments happen. Take the argument. He sounds like a good guy and he deserves that you stand up for him properly.

Is it something he is effecting or can change - nope therefore they are arseholes

Wtf?! It’s ok to mock him if he hasn’t been formally diagnosed with anything?!

Is anyone in your family able to reflect? Do they understand the concept of banter and if it’s not being found funny, then it’s hurtful and could be seen as bullying?

Would you ever be able to speak to them one-to-one and help them realise? And ask them, if your child inherits a stammer, would they be okay with other children and adults mocking their grandchild or niece/nephew in the future?

I feel so sorry for your partner. I bet it brings back all sorts of memories of being bullied over the years because of a stammer he can’t control.

I wonder if the wider media will pick this thread up? It wouldn't be a terrible thing if it did, but the OP should be mindful of the possibility so she's not caught unawares.

OP, I hope by now you and your DH are on your way out of that vipers' nest and heading to a nice breakfast somewhere - though to be honest, a Gregg's pasty at the ugliest service station in the UK would be better than breaking bread with your atrocious family. They sound like a bunch of spiteful, vulgar bullies with no class, decency or education (that is, in the wider sense of knowing how to behave around other people, rather than just a clutch of qualifications.) Your DH on the other hand, sounds lovely. Maybe they just can't cope with someone who has all the qualities they lack. Anyway, that's not his problem or your fault. All you can do is let it be known in the strongest terms you can come up with that short of them cleaning their act up and apologising for their foul abuse, they won't have to cope with either of you in the future and they certainly won't see the baby. All the best to you, your DH and congratulations on your pregnancy.

This is perfect!!
Well done OP for doing what's right 👏🏼 xx

I am pleased you have decided to leave this morning op. It's not acceptable behaviour from your family.

Your sister sounds intolerable. You need to find a one liner for when this starts that you say evenly something like
"Stop that behaviour".
When they go we are only joking. Respond "A joke is funny this is not"
To you are hormonal
"No I dont like bullies, there is a difference "

For what its worth your partner sound like a lovely man.

Your family sound disgusting tbh, how they think that’s acceptable is beyond me.

Your family are embarrassing themselves. I wouldn't visit again.
Is your dh a high earner by any chance or very successful in his job? From a different class background? imo your sister is jealous she's acting like a total bitch. Your dad is insecure around your dh and has humiliated himself.

You and your partner sound lovely, probably far too lovely to send a message to the family WhatsApp along the lines of:

"I'll be in touch once the dust settles after the baby has been born, to let you know what we've had. There is a chance that my baby will also have a stammer, so I'm not expecting you to like him or her either, or treat them with respect. It breaks my heart to know that my child might not be safe from the cruel mockery you subjected my partner to. I'm sorry for your ignorance."

What?! Are you the OP’s sister by any chance?

So, according to you, it’s ok to bully and belittle someone if you don’t know the details of their medical diagnosis.

By your logic it would be ok to mock a child struggling to walk down a street so long as you stop when their parent shows you a doctor’s note confirming they have cerebral palsy?

What an appalling and disgusting attitude you have.

Are you trying to win stupidest and most insensitive post of the week? Are you saying that until a formal diagnosis, it’s open season for people behaving like dicks?

My in-laws are like this. It's brutal but now I realise it's THEIR social anxiety that causes it and it's almost become their own little micro culture. To insult profusely and make it very personal.

But bizarrely if they start doing it to you it means you're being accepted. If you say anything back then they are almost crying with 'now she's one of us!'

We did take a step back when we had DC though as I didn't think it was a nice environment to be a part of.

JFC, what a toxic cunt your sister is. I'd just say that she doesn't need to worry about people pronouncing your baby's name correctly because she will never be seeing the baby.

You seen to have gone on holiday with a load of school bullies who just happen to be related to you. Do not allow them into your baby's life. They will mock your child's dad in front of them. Do not give them any opportunity to do this. Go no contact as soon as you have left.

Shocking behaviour from your family.

So glad you’re taking him away from your toxic nasty family.

I’d draw a very firm boundary with them around this. That you will protect your family and that what they were doing was absolutely not ok and should not be minimised.

Your poor partner my heart goes out to him.

Did you say anything to your sister?? OP are you scared of your family? I just struggle to understand why you don’t call out such disgusting behaviour?! What’s your sisters deal, as well? She sounds nasty and maybe jealous?
You absolutely need to make it clear to them why you are leaving early and Id definitely cut back any communication with them until they apologise to your partner!

I hope you get home safely and have a nice day together.

All your bf needs to say to your family is "fuck off".

I said we can go if he wants and he just said “up to you babe” which is classic him, always putting it back on me. he’s not a confrontational person at all
Well he’s putting this back on you because they’re your family. I expect if they were strangers and not relatives he’d very much like to tell them to go fuck themsleves.

he’s too polite to say anything but I can tell it’s getting to him
It would get to anybody. You need to have a word with them. Though the alternative would be not to bother and just cut ties - they all sound like nasty assholes!

I am glad you are leaving your disgusting bullying family. I feel really sorry for your partner, he is in a terrible position.

You do realise they have no respect for you at all op? You are now pregnant, and they don’t care about upsetting you.

You need to go extremely low contact for your own protection, and tell them why. They will treat your baby in the same awful way in time, I promise you, this is how they entertain themselves.

Are you the black sheep by any chance op?

Ir seems your sister’s boyfriend is treated differently, as is she.

I would stop seeing them. Protect your family from such abusive bullying. If they can do this to your dp with a speech impediment then they really are the lowest of the low.

I am so sorry op but I think you have just got used to it over the years, and growing up. This is totally unacceptable.

Well done for leaving early. Your poor partner.

Your family sound like awful bullies, to both of you. In your position I would cut the holiday short right there and then, return home where you can pamper each other and reassess how much you want them involved in your life in future.

BULLYING IS NEVER OK. Never 😡