Family mocking partner’s speech - AIBU to be upset?

I'd be leaving straight away and telling them they're a bunch of cunts and I won't be speaking to them again.
They are horrible bullies.

Yeah I have something similar to this, and it shows you who people really are, sometimes people get quite aggressive, accuse me of doing it on purpose and say, can you please stop doing that. It is a disability for me and I can’t “just stop it”, any more than someone in a wheelchair can “just stop it”.

I think that really cruel to do that to someone.

💯. I’d leave to make my point , you are not relaxing

I hate that a pregnant woman can't be legitimately pissed off without being told 'it's your hormones'. 😡👊

I would have said yeah he has a stammer but at least he isn't an arsehole like yourselves

Wow… Just wow…

Are you always needing to know ‘what’s wrong with people’ before deciding if you are going to be respectful towards them? Because clearly, in your world, just yours, if one has a difference, you need to understand before you can respect them right?

Theres no need to understand or to know someone diagnosis to be respectful and kind.

@PReggoDuck23 you two sound really lovely people. Caring for each other and kind.

I think you’ve played it well. As you said, there was no need to make the last hours in the house even worse for him just to make a point. If they have two brain cells, they’ll know very well why you have left anyway.

The sticky point is that, yes, you’ll probably have to go LC with them. I’d love to see them suddenly realising how bad it was. But I very much doubt so.
The fact your dh said he didn’t want to come between you and your family seems lovely. But it also means he is always going to put himself last. You’ll really have to take the lead there.

I imagine you’re now well on your way back home. So hopefully leaving won’t have happened with loads of drama from them.

OP I think you would do very well to cool down the relationship with your bully family to a minimum. Do not accept gaslighting and minimising and definitely don´t accept them belitling your husband in front of your child. So in order to avoid this, avoid them.

I agree 100%!

@PReggoDuck23 I can perhaps understand that you don't want to "argue" with them on the trip, but unless you want your child to grow up seeing and hearing their claptrap, you need to do something now. The above poster put it a great way.

If they don't want to respect and be kind to your DH, they do not deserve to have a role in your baby's life or extended contact with any of you. You are the only one who can stop them being abusive to the man you love, so the ball is in your court.

Bollocks. I don´t need to see someones medical history reports to treat them decently and not take the mick out of any sort of disability. Decent people don´t do that. Can´t believe you wrote that.

Is he Dyslexic, I have a similar problem particularly when I’m tired.

You need to put your foot down on this type of behaviour.

they’ve shown you how they are behind your back and to mock openly is disrespectful.

what if they do this to your husband in front of your child? They need to know now that it won’t be tolerated.

and let your husband know your on his team- he must feel so alone right now, family are the ones that should be making him feel safe and not worry about his speech impediment.

I wouldn't be surprised. We had someone try to take a picture of DHs number plate when he parked in disabled. Soon scuttled off when he got out of the car and had visible mobility issues 🥴

I think you need to write a letter to your family explaining exactly why you left and why their behaviour won’t be tolerated by you anymore.

Make it clear to them that unless they acknowledge their ongoing poor behaviour towards your DP and apologise unreservedly, you don’t want anything more to do with them and won’t be visiting them ever again.

They need shock tactics because otherwise, they’ll refuse to accept that they’ve done anything wrong. People can change if they choose to. If they choose not to change, that’s on them.

Why do you need to 'understand' a condition, or know a diagnosis in order to behave decently towards someone, @Muffinmam?

If YOU see someone having difficulty walking or talking, do you bully and mock them until they tell you their diagnosis and explain it to you? No decent person would do this.

This exactly. Whether or not OP's husband has a diagnosis of anything or not, whether her family are aware of that or not, her family have treated him in an appalling manner.

Also of course, OP is under no obligation to share his medical history with strangers on Mumsnet.

OP, I hope you and DH are on the road now and off somewhere nice ❤️

Only read your posts but just wanted to say well done OP for growing up to be a decent mature mature who respects other people, when you grew up in a family like that.

If I were you I might not break contact with my family but I certainly would reduce it and I would not have my H around them again, ever. Especially not when you have a child. Imagine a child seeing her/his Father mocked like this?

They are bullies. Make sure they never behave like this in front of your child, either modelling bullying of others or bullying her.

Your family sound absolutely vile. Good for you leaving but I would have made it clear that you are leaving because of their abhorrent behaviour towards your husband, not to sort work stuff or because you are busy.

I haven't read all the replies, but anyone who mocks anyone for having a speech impediment is just vile.

This is close to my heart for personal reasons.

These people really need to think about how they would feel if they had something they struggled with or felt self conscious about.
It's not something we can just laugh off.
It's deeply hurtful.

Op, I have to say both you and your husband sound absolutely lovely. 💜Him for being willing to take so much shit from your family so that you don't have to choose and you for not allowing him to be treated so badly by your family.

Regarding your family I would tell them why you left. Maybe not right now but later. They sound pretty horrible but if they know that you actually left because of their behaviour they might realise they have gone too far. Or maybe not but it's a wrote a try.

OP - I feel for the both of you. Classic bully tactics. "its only a laugh", "don't be so sensitive", "can't you take a joke?!".

I think if you do point this out, they'll double down with the above rather than just alter their behaviour, and group together with the same narrative, which will make them feel justified, which is a real shame. But you have to tell them.

My message would be: Grow the fuck up.

Good luck with it OP, you sound like you have a lovely relationship with your OH, and I wish you lots of happiness in the future.

Your family are a disgrace. I wouldn't blame your DP if he wanted nothing further to do with them.

Wonder if this poster is among the ‘blue badge protection’ brigade l’m encountering more and more these days. No sooner do you pull up in a disabled space than some busybody appears demanding to see your badge and providing a running commentary on how you ‘don’t look disabled’ !!

Even if her DH does have a formal diagnosis, his medical information is nobody else's business.

My DH is visibly, physically disabled. Very few people know what specific disability he has. And guess what?! Nobody bullies him. Family or otherwise. Because they're decent human beings.

You don't have to understand something to be a decent person. I would reflect on why you feel not knowing someone's diagnosis is a justifiable reason to bully them.