Family mocking partner’s speech - AIBU to be upset?

They sound really shitty. I wouldn’t put him in that position again if they’re so dismissive about their behaviour.

OP, make the decision yourself and go home tomorrow. Anything less than that will make him feel like you’re capitulating to your family.

It’s really not ok. My family used to do this- use” humour” to belittle others- in laws, neighbours, relatives’ partners etc. I think my grandmother set the trend and others followed. It came from a place of insecurity and deep competition with her sisters for her father’s attention. In the end that constant judgemental attitude turns in against you. No wonder your DH had a migraine and if he was faking it no one could blame him.

Your dad and sister are nasty little bullies and they should apologise. Your mum is no better making pathetic excuses for their behaviour

I wouldn’t be speaking to them again without an in person apology from them both.

I agree your family are arseholes and when called out, fob it off as a “joke”. It’s disgusting. Back up your husband and do t downs xny more time with them. Poor bloke 😡

They’re behaving like ignorant bullies.
I’d be super concerned about this and would absolutely leave early rather than let your partner tolerate this behaviour a moment longer.
There is nothing 'wrong' with or 'bad' about people who stammer. Their brains are just wired differently. Your family have not been accepting, understanding or patient. How do you think they’ll behave towards your child if in future they too have a stammer (it isn’t guaranteed they will stammer of course but there is a genetic factor in why people start to stammer). Negative and unhelpful reactions towards stammering understandably can cause repeated trauma for individuals making their struggle increase and contribute to impacts on mental wellbeing.

Your family have behaved awfully. I would be distancing myself from them as they are not willing to change. I would tell them "dh will put up with your insults for me, however I won't. If this does not stop I will be seeing a lot less of you. It is not a joke and not funny"

Mum of a son who has a stammer that's mostly resolved due to year of speech and language therapy and I am horrified by their behaviour. Stammers are often made worse by being anxious as well as tired. They have made it ten times worse for him in the future and made it more likely to stammer when talking to them. Your family is supposed to be where you are supported and comfortable, knowing that they have your back. He's learnt that they are mean, judgemental and cruel. It wouldn't matter what they chose to belittle him over but anyone who has an ounce of emotional maturity would realise that he has probably had a lifetime of people who make fun of him for something that he can't control. Stammers have no bearing on intelligence, moral fibre or being a wonderful partner. Even worse he can't say how he feels about it or ask them to stop because he doesn't want to upset you, knowing they are your family and he loves you.

To brush it of as a joke, say he's too sensitive or you are being hormonal when you are trying to tell them that it wasn't appropriate is awful. Ask them how they might feel if they had a bladder infection and accidentally wet themselves and everyone at the table saw and made fun of them. Not exactly the same but it might make them think how unhappy and uncomfortable they might feel to have to deal with horrible people taking the mickey out of them for something that they can't control or know when it's going to happen. Hugs to you and your partner and congratulations on your pregnancy.

I'd definitely be having words and saying that they should be treating him with respect. He might not be their criteria for a "perfect partner" but he is yours and going to be the father of your child. Something meant as a joke is only one, if both people are laughing and once you realise you have upset someone you need to do something about it, not blame them for being upset.They need to apologise and treat him in a decent manner going forward.

Mocking someone for having a speech impediment is utterly vile and says an awful lot about them as people. I would be leaving with my DH. They will blame you for being “too sensitive” or “not able to take a joke” but that is because they don’t want to reflect on how unpleasant they actually are.

And if your child has a speech thing, will they bully him/her? Will you watch?

We, as a family, have a bit of banter and take the piss out of each other, in jest. But we would NOT do this and we certainly wouldn't ever make someone feel crap or take the piss out of a speech issue.

Fortunately we are all pretty good at reading situations and if its obvious someone isn't open to our kind of banter then it stops, immediately.

This feels like bullying to me and your sister saying you are 'hormonal' and your Mum downplaying it as him being too sensitive, WTF?

Your family need to know that they have overstepped a line here and that you have your DP's back. Stick up for yourself and for your DP.

This. Nasty fuckers.

Oh the “too sensitive” comment, said by arseholes when they’re called out on shit behaviour.

So unkind

How awful for you both. Your DH for the way he was treated, you for knowing what your family are capable of. I think its a watershed moment tbh. You have to decide whether you're going to brush this away to avoid short term unpleasantness, or stand firm and let them be in no doubt that this is a deal breaker. I'd be telling them that I'd decided to leave. Not DH, but me, and not because of my hormones, but because I was angry and ashamed of them and not willing to stand by and let them behave that way. Their response will be telling, as they should be full of apologies. If they're not, it's tells you what you need to know about the value they place on the relationship with you.

They are going to do this to your child too.

You’re not being unreasonable to be upset. I’d be ashamed of my family for behaving like that, and then minimising your valid response by saying you’re hormonal. What a bunch of pigs.

Typical bullies. It’s not funny at all, I assisted a gentleman with an awful stammer once and he was so thankful, also so ashamed when he had no need to be.

Your family are extremely repugnant.

How awful for them to make fun of his speech. It’s totally uncalled for. My own son has a stammer / stutter which is much more noticeable when he is excited or tired. You did right pulling them up, on their making fun of him.

Sadly your mother rolling her eyes and saying he is too sensitive is wrong too. I watched my boy (now a fully fledged adult,) shrink in embarrassment a few times around others when his speech was the butt of their ignorance. I stepped in ferociously as any parent would, to put an end to it. This didn’t stop my boy feeling embarrassed or very self conscious. Leading him to not wanting to partake in regular conversations in extended family / friend, situations. The damage is real, sadly.

Your family are behaving appallingly-that is bullying and nasty and your mum is just as bad for minimising it.

But, come on-you grew up with these people and know them well...you've chosen to go on holiday with them. Surely you know what they are like?!

You have every right to be upset! What kind of fuckwit takes the piss out of someone in that disgraceful manner? And adults too………old enough to know better! I hope he’s ok today.

I'd be so upset if some treated my son, who has a stammer, like this.

Difficult for you too, as your family are being really embarrassing. Hopefully, you're not going to be reliant on them for childcare.

This was upsetting to read, I feel for both of you.

I'd probably try to explain to them how and why this is so upsetting and inappropriate. Give them a chance to improve the situation. If they still don't see a problem, I guess you have to consider how much time you want to spend with them going forward.

Your OH sounds sweet. I wouldn't wait until the morning, I'd pack and leave now. Your family are out of order.

I agree to an extent but also it seems that is putting the decision on his shoulders. It’scthe OP’s family, she needs to make the decision.