Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Family mocking partner’s speech - AIBU to be upset?

466 replies

PReggoDuck23 · 08/06/2025 15:40

Bit of a rant really. We’re on a UK break with my family, just a cottage thing in Wales. Me, OH, my parents, my sister and her fella. I’m 23 weeks pregnant and just feeling a bit raw anyway tbh.

So my OH’s got a bit of a speech thing. Not a full stammer but he struggles sometimes with certain words or says stuff wrong, mispronounces things a bit. I’m used to it now and usually know exactly what he means. He gets worse when he’s tired and it’s been a long few days. We’ve been walking loads and it’s not exactly relaxing.

Last night after dinner he was trying to tell a story and got stuck on a word. Tried like 3 times to say it and my dad and sister just started laughing and taking the piss. Doing voices and repeating it back to him all wrong. He tried to laugh it off but I could see he was gutted. I told them to pack it in and they were like oh calm down we’re only joking. Then my sister said I’m just hormonal.

This morning he said he had a migraine and stayed at the cottage. Might be true but also reckon he just didn’t fancy spending the day with them after last night. Can’t blame him.

I said something again to my mum and she just rolled her eyes and said he’s too sensitive and they’re only winding him up. But I don’t think it’s funny at all. I feel really protective of him and also just really sad he’s been made to feel like that. It’s meant to be a nice time away before baby comes and now it just feels crap.

AIBU to be upset? Should I have said more?

OP posts:
Livingthebestlife · 08/06/2025 17:29

That's not joking, it's making fun of a person's disability, I would definitely leave and book a night in a lovely hotel and have a nice meal and relaxing evening and then head home.

FishChipsAndVinegarPlease · 08/06/2025 17:28

My dad had a stammer as a kid and sometimes has to take a "run up" to a word, rolling his R or whatever. I think it's cute.

Rowan Atkinson has a problem with words starting with Bs and Ps, he uses it to his advantage in his comedy. If you've ever heard him say the name "Bob", you'll see what I mean.

ETA I'm 23 weeks pregnant too, hooray!

Whyherewego · 08/06/2025 17:28

PReggoDuck23 · 08/06/2025 16:38

yeah he gets migraines every so often, not loads but enough that I know when he says he’s got one he’s not faking it. he’s had the speech thing since he was a kid, it’s just how he talks. worse in the evenings or when he’s stressed which this lot aren’t exactly helping with

and yeah english is his first language, he was born here same as us. that “english pls” comment really got under my skin tbh. like what are they even trying to say?? just makes him feel small for no reason

they’ve always been a bit judgy about him not being into sport or drinking. like my dad’s always made little jokes about how he’s not “a lad lad” and my sister’s said before that he’s a bit boring. but I always thought it was more of a personality clash thing not full on mean spirited, until this trip

feel like I’m seeing it all properly now. you’re right tho I prob do need to take the lead a bit more, he’s too polite to say anything but I can tell it’s getting to him. I just hate that I’ve brought him into this environment and now he’s uncomfortable in what’s meant to be a family holiday. gonna chat to him again after dinner and maybe see if we just pack up in the morning and head off x

Well good on you OP for realising the situation and being prepared to leave for your DP. Your family seem incredibly rude and insensitive

CountryMouse22 · 08/06/2025 17:28

I had a stroke 2 years ago and can't imagine how I would feel if others start taking the piss of him. Even now I can't have a problem with words, written and verbal. What a horrible family.....

Tahlbias · 08/06/2025 17:27

Your poor OH!

Lavender14 · 08/06/2025 17:25

Bullies will always suggest their victims can't take a joke and are too sensitive.

Check in with your other half and be prepared to distance yourself from them to support him. What horrible people.

FishChipsAndVinegarPlease · 08/06/2025 17:24

Picking on him will make his stammer/difficulty worse.

I bet he thought he'd left the school bullies behind.

ColinOfficeTrolley · 08/06/2025 17:23

Aww OP, this has made me feel so sad for your partner.

Your family are a bunch of cunts. You've seen them for what they are now. Eyes truly opened.

There would be no faffing about for me, I'd have left, but not until I'd give them a piece of my mind and said you won't be talking to them until they apologise to him.

Just go home!!! Now and tell them why. I'd be crying my eyes out tbh

Blobbitymacblob · 08/06/2025 17:22

I couldn’t stand to spend time around people like this. He’s a saint to put up with them. But wouldn’t you have a nicer time too, just the two of you instead of being hyper aware of every comment and dig?

Sometimes when we grow up in abusive environments we confuse being able to talk back, and call out bad behaviour or give as good as we get with having strong boundaries. The thing is that people who haven’t been trained from infancy to accept shit, just don’t hang around accepting it.

FarmGirl78 · 08/06/2025 17:21

Rather than asking DP if he'd want to to both leave I'd be offering it to him as "I'm really angry with my family and I'd like to leave because I don't want us to be around them. Will you think I'm a drama queen if we go?" That way it's YOU who's setting the bar of what's acceptable and clearly showing him that you think they're out of order. You're presenting it to him as your decision and that you see you and him as a team, and that is your immediate priority.

I'd either be leaving NOW even it meant getting home at 2am after a long drive, or I'd be leaving at 6am so they'd wake up to your empty rooms. They're absolute arseholes and even if you never speak to them again they need to be apologising.

Iloveacurry · 08/06/2025 17:18

Just leave then. He’s left that decision to you. Your family don’t sound very nice.

NautilusLionfish · 08/06/2025 17:18

Evaka · 08/06/2025 16:23

Your family sound like a pack of utter pricks. I'd rip their fucking heads off first and wouldn't be seeing them again.

I have just had a nasty funny image of a hand lit holding a bunch of dicks. Different size, shaped and skin tones. It's a revolting but also funny image

NautilusLionfish · 08/06/2025 17:16

You are upset not because you are hormonal but because you are a decent human being who also loves your husband. Your family are dickheads so extra credit to you for being you and even more for standing up to them.

Els1e · 08/06/2025 17:16

Your dad and sister are being immature morons. I would definitely be supporting your husband and leaving asap.

RampantIvy · 08/06/2025 17:15

"I'm leaving early because poking fun at somene with a speech impediment is a nasty and spiteful thing to do"

"It isn't "poking fun" or "banter" or a "joke" because no-one is laughing. It is ableism at its worst"

NiceoneSonny · 08/06/2025 17:15
  1. Your family are ablist cunts and have shown you exactly who they are. I would not want to have anything to do with them.
  2. I would be going home immediately.
  3. I would not be able to resist first choosing the one thing that each of your family members is insecure about, and giving them a good ribbing about it, in the interests of joining in with their "banter". I am sure they cantata it if they can dish it.
Cynic17 · 08/06/2025 17:13

Your family are awful, OP - I mean, who does that? After this holiday, keep them very much at arms length, if you even see them at all.

Pedallleur · 08/06/2025 17:13

Just don't bother with them. Just awful. I would have left. But the good news is they have shown what they are like. Let's hope they don't have any health issues or impediments.

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 08/06/2025 17:10

@PReggoDuck23 quite a few under 10's in your family, aren't there? they are horrible!

Livpool · 08/06/2025 17:09

God, your family sound pathetic and immature

usedtobeaylis · 08/06/2025 17:09

I'm so sorry that you had to have this realisation about your family. I grew up with a relative with a stammer and while he was and is an arsehole, I could never stand anyone taking the piss out of his stammer. There's something just so particularly nasty about that kind of mocking. My heart goes out to your OH still dealing with this in adulthood and to you for your family.

Panterusblackish · 08/06/2025 17:05

RitaAndFrank · 08/06/2025 15:54

We like a bit of banter as a family and sometimes joke and have a laugh at each other but what happened here is really not on. Your poor dh, it’s not like he can help it. I think if I knew in any way that I’d overstepped I’d be mortified and desperate to make things right.

Yeah my family all take the piss out of each other. But we all do it and everyone joins in.

If someone didn't like it, we wouldn't do it to them. Everyone has to enjoy this type of humour and be able to give and take for it to work.

As soon as you raised concerns, they should have stopped. This was just bullying.

Loub1987 · 08/06/2025 17:03

Well, they sound like absolutely horrible and also stupid people.

middleeasternpromise · 08/06/2025 17:03

How do your family generally connect when they get together? Is it based on 'in jokes' and specific ways of relating? ie drinking or particular activities? They may not notice their way of behaving but that does not mean you have to put up with it. You are all a family so I wonder is there a way you can get them to reflect on their way of welcoming and including new family members?

One way is to focus on the other person as they have done and see it that your partner is 'too sensitive' the other is consider how they welcome and include new family members? If there is a general practice of teasing and humiliating can you as an important member of the group speak to them in a way that lets them know your values are different? How have they been able to change their ways in the past? Have you found them able to do that successfully when the are motivated to do it? As for leaving early, will that invite the change you are requesting or can you stay and set a firmer boundary with them? At some point you will have to have this difficult conversation as I am sure they will want to welcome the newest family member and it sounds like you really want them to treat your partner with respect and not replicate this behaviour. Do you think they are holding some private reservations about your partner? If so they should find a way to respect your choice particularly as you are both going forward as parents. I think you are right not to let it go. This should be a lovely break for everyone not just a few.

Bikergran · 08/06/2025 17:02

YANBU. Absolutely disgusting. Are your family always like this? Do they mock people with cerebral palsy, or people in wheelchairs? If it were me, I'd just leave now.