To think these comments from my mum are slightly racist and unnecessary

It’s jealousy. If they were going out with white British women’s he would probably be criticising their appearance - too much makeup, how long do they spend on their hair? Was she like this with their previous gf’s or are these their first proper relationships?

Maybe she feels displaced as their (and your) attention is longer on her as much. Maybe she’s worried they’ll set up home in foreign countries? Who knows.

Absolutely tell her she won’t be invited round if she says such horrible things, even if it’s just to you.

I've never thrown a plate at anyone in my life 😁

More seriously, is she ever like this in front of the girlfriends? They might (if they are anything like me) just be sighing and rolling their eyes now, but I bet none of them will want to bring any potential DC round to visit her.

My mum would have been nearly 100 now if she was still alive and she would never have behaved like this!

My mum would be 87 if she was still alive &, like your mum, would never have behaved like this. My mum had a talent for languages and I know that she would have made a point of brushing up her German & Italian, leaned some Ukrainian, Googled some recipes & done her best to welcome her children's foreign partners & relished the opportunity to learn about their cultures.

The generational thing is absolutely bullshit. My parents and PIL in their 70s wouldn't behave like this in a million years. My Victorian born great-grandparents wouldn't have done.

It’s xenophobia and stereotyping not racism though it doesn’t make it any better obviously.

Dreadful. It’s pros single to create humour based on stereotypes, but her comments aren’t funny or insightful. They are just plain rude. But I don’t think you need to worry overly. As long as she holds her tongue in their presence and you tell her you don’t want to hear it, she’ll have no impact.

^ This
She isn’t saying it to their faces I presume?

😂😂😂 is she married to Alf Garnett?!
Surely this can’t be true?!?

Your mother is a disgusting racist. I am sorry you have to endure that.
Well done for bringing up your boys with the right values.

My DM is 83 and wouldn’t dream of making remarks like these. Neither would DF if he was here to tell the tale. It’s very offensive and ageist to make these remarks about a whole generation.

Woah!! To all those annoying posters- Stop being so bloody ageist!!

My mum (would have been 103 if alive) managed not to be racist and she was active in WW2 so if she’d been anti Japanese, you could maybe understand why. Luckily, she was very welcoming as my DS married a fabulous Japanese woman.

It’s normally only saddo DMail readers and Reform voters of all ages who are stupidly racist and don’t think before they speak.

In your shoes OP, be clear with her that you won’t allow her to make openly snide or racist comments and until she can learn to hold her tongue she’s no longer invited to family get togethers - and mean it!

It’s not unusual sadly. You would have thought that someone her age would have figured out that non-brits are mostly nicer than us brits. YANBU - don’t invite her.

It wouldn't surprise me if she found things to complain about if the girlfriends were white/British. It'd be tattoos, lip filler, "wrong" occupation, blue hair, clothes, or something else. Basically, anything at all that's different to how she was at that age!

No. My grandparents, born over a century ago, wouldn’t have made such comments and would have pulled up anyone who did.

She’s xenophobic (fear, hatred, or hostility toward foreigners from different countries or cultures) rather than racist (prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism against people based on race or ethnicity).

Both are absolutely not acceptable.

Was she like this when you are growing up? Is it misogynistic? If you had daughters - would these comments be made about their boyfriends?

Shes unlikely to change. I wouldn’t tolerate this behaviour, therefore she wouldn’t be invited.

I used to work for Italians and spent time in Italy and I totally disagree with her stereotyping of them. What she calls "gobby" I call "expressive" especially when compared to us more reserved British people. All Italians are foodies, they take food very seriously and as a consequence Italian food is delicious. But I have never witnessed an Italian throwing a plate. To me she sounds petty- minded, ridiculous and rude.

I don’t think you should treat it with a sledge hammer approach unless there are other wider issues with her behaviour - I’d try to talk about whether she’s worried they will go and live overseas - then if she says no you can say about the derogatory comments and why you asked and what you’d prefer - then maybe put a boundary about dinner etc

Not sure it's generational. My mum is 86 and is very pro foreigners and immigration.

My mother is 80. Not only she would never, ever talk about people like that, but if someone else talked about people like this she’d give them a telling off for it.

Come to think of it, my grandparents didn’t hold attitudes like that, and they were born in the 1910s.

No, we really don’t.

Slightly racist? You’ve got to be kidding?!

It’s not ‘slightly’ racist, it’s very racist. She sounds utterly vile and frankly I hope your sons stop having anything to do with her.

SLIGHTLY racist? No not slightly absolutely insanely racist with neon lights flashing. I am tired of hearing 'ah thats just their generation'. You do not blame age and the year you were born on being ignorant. Vile woman, do not have her around anymore.

Technically it's xenophobic not racist but either way, you're right, she's fully out of order saying that about them.

Yes these are absolutely horrible and also plain weird things to say!

What does she say when you tell her these comments aren't acceptable?