Mums partner 6 yrs want's her to lend him all her life saving for a loan to buy larger house she won't be on deed for.

Absolutely not don’t do it. There are so many red flags in this. I suspect a lawyer would advise against it as even with legal documentation if the money got wrapped up in a trust etc. as the situation you describe sounds complicated, there may be no way to reclaim it in the event of his death or they split up. The old adage lending money to family and friends is a sure way to create problems and fallouts rings true.

@Moniworries Absolutely no way should your mother do this she would be utterly mad!

They aren't married so if her DP dies all his assets go to the legal next of kin which is his eldest child so your mother loses her life savings and the roof over her head that SHE PAID FOR whilst DP family gets it all, but the biggest red flag for me is the DP won't put your mother on the deeds that shows a real lack of trust he wants to 'borrow' her life savings but doesn't want her name on the paperwork. Sorry but no thats stepping into very grabby and cheeky fucker territory!

There is no way she should lend that without independent legal advice and a first charge over the property, but even then she would need to think about the emotional and legal costs of enforcing the charge and sale of the property.

As you say in previous post - even the most amicable families can fall apart in complicated Will situations.

It would be a hard “no” from me. I mean seriously “lend me your life savings and future security on a promise”? Really?

Your mum needs to see a solicitor to understand the various options and safety nets available whilst they are not married and if they do. Putting a charge on the house might be an option as might drawing up a formal loan agreement but enforcing can be costly and time consuming.

Once your mum understands her position they should both discuss this with someone who specialises in Wills/trusts for blended families. He is talking nonsense when he says he won’t marry her to protect his children - its possible for each of them to protect the separate children in this situation and marry. I would assume there are other reasons why he doesn’t want to marry.

Under the current situation what does he expect to happen to your mother if he dies first? Is she and his young son to be left homeless? It sounds as if she has no property of her own as a safety net/asset and would need to fund one herself from savings if he dies. Also if the child is less than six and he is leaving “his” money in some sort of trust for the child how will your mother be able to access this for the support of the child? Or is she expected to leave it for his future and use her money to cover all costs to the detriment of her own older DC?

Blended families can be complicated and all these issues should be discussed before death, not after.

Absolutely not. Hard no
no loan whatsoever. He’s a chancer

Exactly.

A nice guy would not be asking this

She should only do it if shd gets a cgarge against his title. Even then - no. Just - NO.

Look at it this way, if a bank who is in the business of lending money wouldn’t lend money for a house purchase without the loan being secured against then house then nor should your mum.

If she lends him the money, it should be done properly with security lodged against the property until the debt is repaid.

It doesn’t matter if he is a nice man, or whether she trusts him. You mum needs to protect her money against risk.

Of course, but I was responding to the OP's opening remark about not marrying her mother and that he also hasn't pursued any other options, because 'it's too complicated' I took from that, that he isn't looking out for DM's interests, or, his youngest child's particularly. Bear in mind that the proposition debated here is DM handing over her life savings for a short-term unsecured loan and living in a property she has little or no legal claim over if the worst came to the worst.

And, as you see, I finished with

'Your mother doesn't need advice from you or the hive mind of Mumsnet, she needs to consult a solicitor about a myriad of issues.'

so we're not necessarily disagreeing.

Your mum is being stupid. Honestly. Putting a charge on the property won’t protect her. She’s being an idiot, simple.

She either needs to be on the deeds of this house or else get a proper loan document drawn up at his expense by a solicitor, stating that the property is security for the loan (in the same way as a mortgage is) then if anything happens to him, or he defaults on paying her back she will be able get her money back.
To lend him this money without this is sheer folly on her part. If he died unexpectedly the house would be swallowed up into his estate and your mum's money end up being shared out among his beneficiaries!

You can’t really stop your mum from doing this as she’s an adult, but if it was me I would absolutely do everything in my power to dissuade her. Ask her what she would do if you or your siblings came to her and said “Yhe he won’t marry me but he wants me to lend him my life savings! Also I won’t be on the deed! Isn’t that great mum? Are you excited for me?” Sometimes all it takes is for someone to hear it like that and they realise they’re being silly.

For a man who doesn’t want to share his assets with the mother of his child because it’s too complex, he seems awfully keen to get his hands on her assets in a way which would make your mum and your brother incredibly vulnerable.

It sounds like she’s being fleeced here.

I actually would consider doing this, but only with a watertight legal agreement that the loan would be paid back as soon as the old house was sold, and a charge on the new house until the debt was repaid.

Absolutely not... no matter how much she might trust him.

No and outrageous that he even asked

She would be insane to do this. The fact he won’t marry her would make me walk away.

When I bought my house DP couldn’t get a mortgage but had some money we wanted to use towards the deposit because it changed the interest rate I could get and made the house much more affordable. The only way we were allowed to do this was him signing it was a gift and there was no expectation of the money being returned. Without that I couldn’t get the mortgage because it was too high risk for the lender. As it isn’t a gift she would be silly to sign that it is one in my eyes! The only way I would be willing would be if my name was on the house, I’m sure she can ring fence her contribution and then she’s protected and the issue goes away? Him being unwilling to go with this if it was offered would ring alarm bells to me.

Interesting that his credit is not good enough to get a loan/mortgage for a loan from official sources

It probably is but he won’t do that because he’d a) have to pay interest on it and b) have to repay it. He must think OP’s mum was born yesterday.

Thrice NO!
Any whiff of a family trust that she wouldnt be part of is a no from me as it can go horribly wrong.
Interesting that his credit is not good enough to get a loan/mortgage for a loan from official sources

Why wouldnt she be on the new deeds if she's going to be paying a large lump sum towards buying it? What if he dies before he can repay her? She's not his DW, presumably she'd be living in a house that would belong to his beneficiaries- his DC? Would his will give her a lifetime interest to live in it with their son?

Yes - if they engage a solicitor to put a charge on his house so that her money goes directly to her once the house is sold.

Looking at the whole picture, I don't really blame him for not wanting to marry if your Mum is bringing less to the partnership than him, and both have previous children.

I would feel the same whether I was your Mum, or her DP. Wills and step children get very messy.

Additionally your Mum is living in his house - rent free? I mean, fair enough, she is mother to his youngest child - but it isn't a big ask for he to facilitate the purchase of a bigger house for them all.

In your Mum's shoes I would want to know that his will allows for a life interest on the home for at least until the youngest leaves Uni, and that a significant loan is made with a legal charge against the house, repayable to her. It comes direct from the solicitor handling the house sale once the completion money goes into the solicitors account.

However your Mum also needs to look at the implications of releasing her savings.

If any are in ISAs, non-flexible ISAs, she can't put the full amount back in and will lose the tax advantages of ISAs if she earns more than £1k a year in interest. Which she should be, easily, with £250k.

Tell her to get legal advice and for the loan to be drawn up with a solicitor. If he is not happy to do this, then she needs to understand it would be very unwise to go ahead with the loan.

Only ever loan friends and family money you can afford to never get back.

Nay, nay and thrice nay.