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Original poster

To be annoyed dh won’t accept gift of house deposit?

85 replies

tarplarp · 08/06/2025 10:54

My in laws have kindly offered to gift us a house deposit/part of one. We currently rent and are looking for a more permanent home.

My in laws are lovely people, comfortably off but not rich. Them gifting us £50k would probably mean they have less of a financial buffer, but they wouldn’t need to sell up etc.

DH is flat out refusing and saying we can earn the deposit ourselves and he wants to be independent. Which I understand for sure - so I said why don’t we accept but pay your parents back in 2-3 years, which is how long it would probably take to get £50k.

OP posts:
MoominMai · 08/06/2025 11:30

YANBU to want DH to accept it of course not given the cost of property these days. However I wouldn’t push DH to change his view either. It’s not a bad trait particularly that’s he’s exhibiting wanting to be independent and as they’re his parents the veto is more his I guess.

loopylalalu · 08/06/2025 11:28

I dont blame him op.
Do it yourself and owe no one nothing.
Or you just might get it thrown in your face every now and then.
He knows them better than you.
He wants to do it himself and thats not a bad thing.

DonnaBanana · 08/06/2025 11:19

He probably has a sense they’re going to ask for it back in some way and he doesn’t want to be under their thumb

CopperWhite · 08/06/2025 11:09

His parents, his choice. He knows them better than you do.

Notsuchafattynow · 08/06/2025 11:07

I would be annoyed too. As long as it came with no strings, and it was 100% a gift. Why not.

I did!

DeftLemonTraybake · 08/06/2025 11:06

I think it's great DP wants to be independent.

Everyone has had a shock in the last few years in terms of cost of living, what might seem comfortably off now could very much not be in a year or two.

It's sensible for DP to not want his parents to possibly be in a less than comfortable situation due to giving away money.

Takeoutyourhen · 08/06/2025 11:02

He might be aware of potential strings - or having it thrown back at you if there was a disagreement. If you are aware of this potentially happening you’d be right to be wary about accepting it. What has he said?

tinyspiny · 08/06/2025 10:58

They are his parents so it’s his decision and frankly if you can save 50k in 2-3 yrs then just do that to save your deposit

Rizraz · 08/06/2025 10:57

It depends Op. Is there a backstory to this? Does he have a difficult relationship with his parents?

TimeForTeaAndG · 08/06/2025 10:55

Are they lovely but the gift would come with strings attached? Why is your DH so set against it?