AIBU - siblings at parties!

That’s fair enough if the party is at someone’s house and a small number of kids but otherwise you could easily end up with a bunch of kids in a soft play or village hall (most common types of parties) you don’t really know charging round unsupervised. DS is four and not quite school age so maybe it will change but parents have always stayed at the parties I’ve been to.

Yes it is, but there are clearly people out there who do it, as happened to me at a few parties i did

Agree - really bad manners to do this.

In many cases, this can only cause more of a headache for the host and it’s very rude to put them in a position where the onus is on them to say yes, or try to justify politely why it isn’t possible. The likely answer is that they just don’t want to be paying for extra kids when they already have 30 children in their house/ soft play, or sourcing different aged party bags for a whole host of kids they don’t know, and who not even the birthday child knows. Who would want a lot of strangers at their birthday party? Even parties at home often have an entertainer of some kind who charges more if there are, for example, more than 25 children.

If that means your child can’t make it, then that’s unfortunate but in many cases, unless your kids are close friends, it is frankly going to be a preferable outcome for the host.

My kids are currently both in the same class at nursery so it doesn't feel like a huge reach at the moment. I'm aware it'll probably change when the older one starts school in September. Can't wait for the drop and run age!

Generally, most parties I’ve been to are at soft play and the sort of gentleman’s agreement is that you pay for the siblings entry and then they go up with the others and do eat but don’t get a cake or party bag although there’s generally cake left over.

It's crazy, isn't it? It would be a bit like shops having to put up signs telling people that they must pay the price on the shelf in order to take the item - and informing them that they aren't entitled to just pick stuff up and walk away with it free!

Some people are just like this in life: every issue or desire that they have is always up to somebody else to resolve for them - and they don't even demand it in advance, but simply act as though it's a given.

Some adults really do behave like toddlers: automatically doing whatever they want unless somebody steps in and actively stops them from doing it.

If both siblings were invited then both names would be on the invite. Once the child is school age the parent doesn't normally have to hang around, so no need for childcare for sibling.
'Mikey is off to Jimmy's party now, shall we get some ice-cream/go for a walk/go choose some snacks/etc/etc while we wait for him?'.
If everyone took a sibling then party numbers double!

Exactly this. That’s the reason I ask.
when my dds have parties I’ve had a few parents ask if bringing a sibling is ok and I don’t mind at all

Presumably because she's a single parent without support and it's a case of either take both or the invited child doesn't get to go. That's certainly my situation. I hate asking but not sure what else I'm supposed to do!

Yes it’s really rude to just bring them, and I awful letting them eat the party food and take a party bag without the host saying they can. I understand childcare issues but people should the host first and if the answer is no then it’s no.

Wholeheartedly agree.
In some cases it might be an invite to more than one child in a family, if you're friends outside of school for example, but then all the children invited would be named on the invite to start with.

You always ask? Why?

I think even asking if the siblings can come is cheeky. Puts the party parent in an awkward position as what it loads did that? They’re going to feel they have to say yes.

Of course YANBU.
People who do that are very entitled.
It's almost like invites need to have a disclaimer on them.

Whenever one of my 2 daughters gets an invite I always message the parent and ask if it’s ok to bring her sister. They are a year apart and getting childcare for one is quite hard. I always offer to pay for the sibling. I would never just turn up at a party with them both and let them join in without asking the parent first.