AIBU - siblings at parties!

Who is that a reply to?

Copying the reply for you ...
"All the class parties I've hosted or been invited to have been either village hall or soft play type ones. Village hall ones siblings are always welcome and pretty much expected"

Yes it’s cheeky. Not a hill I would die on in the world of kids parties though

I hate it when people do this. It puts the birthday child's parents in such an awkward position.

In which case they'd invite that sibling if they wanted to, it's not up to the guests to decide who the birthday kid has or has not at her own birthday.

Host your own party for 20 or 30 then decide who to invite and make sure you invite all the siblings but somehow I doubt you'll ever do.

Same here, that’s why I’m a bit lost with some of the replies to be honest 🤷‍♀️

How big are your classes? Class is about 28 kids. Always some who can't make the date so say 24 max. Then a few will bring siblings. Hardly any have more than one sibling and that includes babies so maybe another 6 or 7 extra.

How are you getting to 100?

Well no from what I've seen they do have issues such as being an entitled tight arse but there is no correlation between affordability and often the less off will be the most considerate and will make arrangements. What you say is almost always done by people who aren't very nice. If you watch their behaviour, you'll see those people are often quite nasty and bullies beyond the surface.
It's really, really rude and poor form. People who don't host themselves and are never generous enough to invite themselves are often the ones spouting how okay it is.

So 90ish -100 kids at each party then? Where in the world are such parties?

It is cheeky but outrageous is a little strong, just in my opinion there’s no need for people to get angry at the people who do this as they’re generally people who are low in money or there’s some form of an issue

All the class parties I've hosted or been invited to have been either village hall or soft play type ones. Village hall ones siblings are always welcome and pretty much expected but everyone knows they don't eat until the main invitees are done and they don't get party bags.

Softplay siblings also welcome and expected but the parents pay for them seperately

Yeah it's CF territory, but the reality is most birthday will actually know the siblings and may well play with them regularly.
I recall that at one of the parties I held ( at home) every single invitee turned up with a sibling AND the parents all shot off before I could say "Hang on a minute, I haven't got space for little Johnny"! But I did know all the DC, and it was at home, I did have spare party bags, and redistributed the contents, and the kids did all have a good time.
After that, I made the bold move of reducing the party bag right down to a slice of cake and and a bottle of bubbles, and I think everyone else was relieved because they all started doing the same.

It's quite rude not to at least ask first. However, we have had a few people turn up with siblings saying they aren't going to join in or whatever and we always say just join in and have some food etc. Because we've never had a party without a couple of last minute cancellations or even no shows, so we've already paid for the extra child. Tbh I find the no shows ruder

Edit to add: we also give party bags as we already made then up for the no shows or cancellations

It's cheeky to expect them to be part of the party, such as getting a party bag or food, when they weren't invited. Young kids won't always realise why they're not getting a party bag etc too so party giver feels pressure to include them too.

There are three parents in DC's class who do this, only one of them asks. One of them brought their older DC, who just started senior school to a soft play party. He gets himself across London and back on public transport five times a week, but apparently couldn't be left at home for two hours.
It's so annoying because as a host you know that it's really unkind to leave a child standing there with no food, so you have to let them join in, but it means you basically have to over-cater every time.
We're the sort of parent group who look out for each others kids while they play out and so on, so I think it would be more polite to ask if they can drop and run, if they can't get childcare.

The only people who have done this for my dcs parties have had no childcare or child with additional needs. They never ask for cake or party bags either. I don't have a problem with it & think it's fine to ask.

I think unless it's a non-exclusive public venue and the sibling has been paid for then it's cheeky behaviour.

All of the parties they have been invited to have been soft play. I don’t think that is wrong or cheeky asking. I always pay for the other child to attend. They’ve never had an invite to a party where it’s drop and leave or I would do this and not ask for the other to attend. They are only 5 and 6 so maybe when they are a bit older that will
bs an option

It's even worse when the siblings are significantly older or younger than the invited child - it really changes the planned dynamic of the party.

I've had a mum do this. I was charged extra for the child she said she 'sneaked in' to the soft play venue!

I expect there will be siblings at parties for little kids. They might get some cake or party bags if left over. Same kid above cried when she didn't get one.

You ask whether you can leave the invited child, as you have no childcare for their siblings. Then the host gets to offer, if that’s convenient for them.

It really wound me up the first time it happened, as I’d made a lot of prep- counted seats, bags, layers in the pass the parcel etc.

I learned not to try so hard, that people would fail to turn up and others would come without having RSVPd

Why can’t you just drop off and go? Assume your child is too young to stay, but as soon as they are old enough to be dropped assume you’ll stop asking. It is quite rude to even ask, and many places have a max numbers policy. I’d imagine that other parents might feel annoyed a sibling was invited and their child’s sibling wasn’t. It is rude to ask if your child is old enough to be dropped off.

Once they're at school most parents don't tend to stay.

If they're in the same class then I'd probably invite neither or both, depending on party size/how close my child was to either of yours. In that scenario I wouldn't invite just one of them.