Dating Apps and bf

In my experience he is a liar. He has only hidden them because he still has women on there that he wants to keep details of or chats with. Had i listened to my own gut instinct when my now ex said the same thing after we were exclusive then I would have saved myself a lot of heartache.

I deleted my accounts when I got into a relationship that I wanted to be in. And deleted the apps from my phone. You can do it in less than a minute, subscription or not.
If he didn’t, you’re still an option and he’s keeping them as he’s no intention of committing to you. And he’s lying and expecting you to just stop talking about it.
Leave him, he’ll be back on the apps within a week and good luck to the next woman he strings alone. He’ll do the same to her.

To be fair, I would have just deleted the apps off my phone and not used them without deleting my actual accounts/profiles

You know deep down you’re being lied too. You’re just here for confirmation. It’s time to part ways

OP, read the FAQs or Google ‘how to close/delete my account’ for the specific apps he’s on. There’s no need to speculate as to whether he’s been lying about his inability to delete them (he definitely has), as it’s very easy to find out.

You’ve been together 12 months +. The longest subscription for these apps is usually 12 months. So unless he renewed his subscription while in the relationship with you, it should have expired by now.
Maybe he renewed during the early months of your relationship, and it will expire soon. But it does seem he is being dishonest about it. It may be that he is really bad at managing his money and allows rolling subscriptions. I wouldn’t want to be saddled with someone like that either.

Ahhh it’s all your fault. What a guy 🙄

Ok so no age gap at all really. There’s my theory blown 😂

I asked because he sounds as if he thinks he’s much smarter than you. So for whatever reason there seems to be a weird dynamic in your relationship where he thinks he can pull the wool over your eyes and serve you up a steady diet of lies. Wonder what else he’s lied about? I hope you’re using protection!

I’m ND and I come across as a bit clueless sometimes so I’ve had men try and take the piss. Not saying you’re ND but you may come across as super trusting and a bit naive.

I know that I can be a bit slow to process things but once I realise what’s happening I don’t waste my time at all which surprises them and have no issues cutting ties. I think this man will get a shock if you decide to walk away which IMO you should.

AmyCo

(And Username532687 tbh)

You know all those threads where men are controlling or abusive or cheat or just become complete useless arseholes and women are always dumbfounded because he was always so lovely and insist that there weren't any signs?

These are signs.

@Username532687 That’s pretty weird and controlling that he demanded you show him you deleting yours but wouldn’t let you see his. Talk about double standards!

What is life like with him now? Was that just a blip or is he generally like that?

You can delete them instantly. When I met my husband, the first thing he did was stand over me whilst I sat at the computer and deleted them as per his instruction. My annual subscription was gone instantly, despite the fact I already paid in advance.

He wouldn't let me see his, but assured me it was deleted...

Looking back, I shouldn't have done as I was told, but there you are.

Of course your partner can take his down straight away.

Youve been together seven months.

You're not important/serious enough for him to cancel his dating accounts

But also you should be important/serious enough to be the one to remind him to cancel his dating accounts. Because a grown man cannot look after himself.

He sounds dreadful. He's keeping his options open.

Aw Op, if he’s making you even question this it sounds as if he is gaslighting you. Why on earth would it be your responsibility to remind him?

And more to the point why did he not delete his accounts earlier when he claimed he did? We’ve established now they could indeed have been deleted irrespective of subscriptions. So there is pattern of lying here.

So no - I definitely don’t agree with what he said.

Do you mind sharing how old you are? Is there a large age gap between the two of you?

Your bf is lying and doesn't respect you. If you know what he's doing most of the time and where he is when he's not with you, fine. But if you find there are some nights when you have no idea what he's up to, then clearly he is dating other people. One thing you need to understand is, men who find dates online, tend to date several people until they meet 'The One' whereas women date in a linear fashion and are much less likely to date more than one guy at a time. It's possible that when your bf met you he found it hard to give up online dating just in case things didn't work out with you. You need to be careful that he is not using you for sex. I suppose you could stop sleeping with him and see what his behaviour's like.

All in all, you seem like the kind of woman who believes what a man says too much 'he says all the right things' and 'he says he'll do X' and 'he says it doesn't mean anything'. You need to judge a man by his actions; not his words.

If you believe everything a man tells you, you're going to become someone who is easy to lie to and manipulate.

I don't know how old you are or if you want to have a serious relationship, settle down or start a family, but don't let a man like this waste your child bearing years.

you should have reminded him? Blimey - are you really that naive?

He’s stringing you along Op and is deceitful. I agree with a pp that he has no respect for you. Time to get rid.

I’d also say there was a valid argument for not deleting your dating website/app accounts if someone is in a relatively new relationship - like less than 6 months, but the problem I see here is that he lied to you.

He could have said I’m putting them on pause so my profile is no longer visible.

I may have had something similar before OP, a guy I met OLD told me he was pausing his dating account while we dated “exclusively”.

I now think he was lying about that because he unmatched from me the same day. If he had just put his profile on pause why did he bother to unmatch from me? Usually if you go on pause it just means new people can’t see your profile but your existing matches will still be there. I felt he unmatched so I couldn’t see when he was last online. At the time I was so excited about him I ignored what was in hindsight very obvious.

I never did fully trust that guy and ended it after a few months of dating.

I’m afraid you are being very naive and he is 100 percent lying. He has no respect for you either. Get rid, he has shown you who he is.

He could have cancelled the subscriptions and deleted the apps if he'd wanted to.
The dating sites that I've looked at have clear instructions on how to do that.
So he obviously hasn't been honest with you.

There was nothing to stop him deleting the account either. Dating websites have their issues but they really can’t stop people from deleting their account. That would be illegal and against privacy laws etc.