My DD is ultra strict and judges my past

It is definitely her problem. We all got pasts and what you did before you had her is just that. I agree with the others this is not normal behaviour

Maybe worth saying that you know you're different people and she's not obliged to go to all night parties if she doesn't want to - might be she's worried you're expecting her to enjoy the same sorts of things you did.

Another thing that could be going on is if she's had friends at uni start similar stories of parties that turn into either explicit discussion of the sex they had at the party or afterwards or perhaps of terrible endings - sexual assault/ property being stolen. You can reassure her that nothing worse than a hangover / expensive journey home / missed deadline happened to you and you're just talking about a good time.

And who are you to question? People get diagnosed as adults you know.

I'm curious how you have got to whatever age you are and not be self aware at how you come across as seriously judgemental? How could your parents raise you and not see how lacking in empathy and understanding you appear to be.

I think most mothers would say their daughter thinks like that. It ain't no coincidence your sons don't give a hoot. Girls are more emotional about most things that happen around them. I have 3 and they all have opinions.

I'm curious as to how you could raise a child for 21 years and only now question autism.

You need to start your own thread.

Does everyone find selling and buying a house stressful never done before just at the start..1 day at a time I guess?

And you are ONE ND person. You should know better! I'm AuADHD and so are all 4 of my children. My boys don't care that I got drunk in the past but my 2 daughters present similarly to the posters daughter when it comes to the same situation we are are commenting on. Just because you are ND, doesn't mean you understand. For all we know, you may well have zero understanding of being autistic because your Neurodiversity may be that you're dyslexic or have dyscalculia 🤷 Not to mention autism is a spectrum and just because one autistic person presents with certain traits and can cope with certain issues and/or situations, doesn't mean the next autistic person will be the same.

Wow. You really DO lack empathy.

Thank you for this comment! I'm diagnosed AuAdhd and so are my 4 kids. My 2 daughters are just like the posters daughter. I have never heard of Alexithymia before but it makes absolute sense as to why a lot of autistic people behave in certain ways.. especially given we have difficulties socializing and communicating. I learnt something new today thanks to you. ❤️

😂😂😂😂 I was going to say the exact same thing. Some serious lacking of any kind of empathy or kindness from Karen.

I was very similar with my own mother. I was diagnosed ADHD (probably ASD) in my 40s.

Who is the parent and who is the child here? You absolutely do NOT have to explain yourself to your daughter. When she matures she will see this.

Correct it's not normal . She is even supposed to find it amusing that her mum was once different and having fun

It does sound like possibly a ND trait? To fixate certain topics or react in a non-conventional way. Also, could she be feeling a little 'indifferent' shall we say, the fact that she is 21 and I assume, the age that you were doing these things? Maybe the fact she isn't doing it as "normal adults" would, she feels perhaps out of touch. Just a thought....

And you are ONE ND person. You should know better! I'm AuADHD and so are all 4 of my children. My boys don't care that I got drunk in the past but my 2 daughters present similarly to the posters daughter when it comes to the same situation we are are commenting on. Just because you are ND, doesn't mean you understand. For all we know, you may well have zero understanding of being autistic because your Neurodiversity may be that you're dyslexic or have dyscalculia 🤷 Not to mention autism is a spectrum and just because one autistic person presents with certain traits and can cope with certain issues and/or situations, doesn't mean the next autistic person will be the same.

As someone who has autism and ADHD myself and has children also with AuAdhd, I find your comment a little harsh. Especially as the poster has stated she thinks her daughter may be autistic. And, if you reply with "I have autistic kids" or "I know autistic adults/kids" then shame on you for judging someone who may well be navigating life with an (possibly) autistic daughter. If you have met one autistic person, you have met one autistic person. It is a spectrum and we're all as different as you neurological people, we just have a harder time in life, from being judged by small minded people.

2 of my ND kids (old enough to not be like this anymore, but the ND team have told me this isn't uncommon for ND kids/adults when it comes to muns) are exactly the same with me as your daughter is with you. It's hard sometimes.

😂

@twigtree

🤣

Best to be cautious when making accusations rather than be extreme!

@twigtree

yes! Extremely! But never mind, as you were.

Nobody said she has to agree to anything.

Am I hun? LOL

I mean, if you want to be pedantic about it we're all judging in one way or another, that was the entire point of the post. The OP came to ask if she was unreasonable. And in my opinion, her daughter is being selfish. Everyone is free to give their own opinion here, it's a forum. I'm not sure which magical utopia you live in where nobody ever judges anyone else but in the real world judgement exists for a reason and people need to be held accountable to some degree for selfish or cruel behaviour.