Friend in a mood with me because of comment I made at dinner

You know it was a dig OP, or you’d have just said “I just decided to come off it” or something similar. You said what you did because you knew other people in the group use IG.

A friend of mine says this type of thing - 'im too old for instagram'. Shes never had it. It is meant as a criticism. She thinks shes on some high horse. I couldnt give a shit. Its such a weird thing to say. Its (mainly) just photos. Who is too old for that?

"If one has said something without thinking, they have said what they think"

Here I am in my 40s trying to make sense of Instagram to keep up with the young ones....

As an over-30 user of IG I would have said something like "Oi, cheeky!" Laughed and moved on. That's all it was, a bit of a cheeky comment. Although I didn't go to Lady Marvellous' Finishing School and learn proper womanly manners unfortunately, so what am I to know.

You were very rude.

It’s one thing to say “I don’t enjoy it anymore” but to say “I grew up” is deliberately belittling your friend who uses it still.

To be clear, I find Instagram vacuous tosh most of the time and rarely post. But I’d never say that to my friend who loves it!! Recently she asked me why I didn’t post and I said that I wasn’t really enjoying it. Still the truth but delivered in a more balanced way.

Sounds like you still have some “growing up” to do yet OP.

You’re entitled to your opinion, of course - but how you said could come across as judgey…

It was quite rude. Even more because you can’t see it.

But if you don’t use it how do you know?
As I said upthread I look at garden photos and it just gives me more garden photos to look at like magic!
Recently had a lovely discussion with a woman in Germany about some plants in her garden. Fortunately she could type perfect English.

48 and enjoy instagram. It’s not just for young people. Though they probably follow different people to me. My current favourite is ‘cycling around the world with my dad’ - now I seem to have lots of suggestions for similar, so also following someone cycling to Australia, and a couple who are walking to Vietnam! Annoying the photo suggestions I get are of dead people, assume it picked up on my mood my close friend died in March. Now I can’t get of them, and it’s pretty depressing to see photos of people in coffins etc!

But yes that kind of comment is rude. Social media is for all ages, and whilst facebook might be more my age (my teens say it’s for mums!) instagram and tiktok are used by multi generations. So yes, your comment was uncalled for really.

Hmmm, I’m over 60 and use Instagram. I’ve probably only ever posted 5 times, but I follow some wonderful travel tip pages, some investment pages, airline points pages, dog rescue groups, sporting teams.

Your comment was condescending. If you don’t want to use Instagram, don’t. But it doesn’t make you better than anyone who does. What a ridiculous thing to imply.

I don’t think it would make the friend think she was jealous. I would think the friend would think op thinks she’s a vacuous immature person and it’s that which has hit a nerve with her.

I agree with your sentiments about IG - but I wouldn’t have voiced them. They would sound judgemental and rude, I’m afraid.

Yes I agree, although op if you often make those kind of digs because it was a dig then perhaps think why you felt the need to say it. But you’ve obviously hit a nerve and perhaps she knows she spends too much time on it or does feel bad about social media use. We only usually react to things that hit a nerve.

Completely unreasonable, the correct response was that you no longer find it engaging.

Your comment implies that you feel you are more mature and superior by not having it any longer. I distanced myself from a friend who emigrated because they constantly told everyone back home that they had emigrated for a better life for their children, the suggestion being that we were all dragging our kids up. Her children did not end up in better employment, with better family networks, better friends or better lives.

I love Instagram for saving my holiday pics, seeing what my wider family are up to, cat and horsey clips, recipes, knowing what to do with my lavender at the end of summer so it comes back, house inspiration. All childish stuff ya know, I’m so old I should have grown out of this stuff.

You haven’t grown up op

I don't use Insta to post pictures of myself. I post pictures of things I've seen that interest me, holiday snaps (that don't feature me or indeed any person). Most of the Insta accounts I follow do not feature photos of people at all - or if they do, they're modelling something (eg, a bag).

Not everyone uses Instagram to post a bazillion photos of themselves.

Did you really grow up though? Seems to me you are still stuck at the bitchy school playground phase.

That’s not what I was saying (although I do find it all a bit cringe these days if I’m honest!).

That WAS what you were saying. And you should own it rather than pretend you meant something else. Just know that implying anyone who is over 30 and on IG is immature and juvenile will cause offence to some people.

Instagram is about posting pictures of yourself - very different.

Yet there you are at 30 using the word “cringe”.

Oh dear. That really was a rude, judgemental comment that will make her think you’re jealous of her travel pics. I don’t use Insta anymore but wouldn’t say that to my friends who do. I think you need to sit quietly with yourself and ask what your intention was when saying that and why you felt you needed to. It’s ok to act like a knob as long as you own it and apologise. By the time you’re
40 you’ll have grown up even more and might think it but not say it. Own the apology. It’ll feel good. Good luck!

There’s definitely a difference between browsing IG, and using it to post duck-lipped pouty selfies with silly slogans like “vibing” written over them in big neon letters. If you’re still doing that at 62 then your friends would need to have a word!

Gosh people are oversensitive. I don't think your comment was rude some people just don't like social media and that's okay.
I think it's actually in immature that someone was upset by that.

Of course your reply was rude.