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AIBU?

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Original poster

Friend in a mood with me because of comment I made at dinner

183 replies

Mall03 · 07/06/2025 22:44

Out with friends last night - one has been travelling so I’ve not seen them for over a year. She asked me why I’m not on Instagram anymore; I replied I turned 30 years old and grew up - she laughed.

Another friend who was present (and uses IG) said my reply was rude and that I insinuated anyone over 30 who uses IG needs to grow up.

That’s not what I was saying (although I do find it all a bit cringe these days if I’m honest!).

Do you think my reply was inappropriate or did my friend over react?

OP posts:
CaptainMyCaptain · 08/06/2025 09:15

Noshadelamp · 08/06/2025 09:07

I don't actually know myself but that was a selection of the things pp commented saying they use Instagram for!

I don't think anyone needs Instagram 😅

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Nobody needs Instagram in the same way nobody needs Mumsnet or a TV.

I use it for mainly sewing and knitting content (often older women like myself), gardens, friends' holiday photos and dogs - lots of dogs because I keep clicking on them and it's the algorithms. Also a few quirky things like Ladybird books, modernist estates and old photos of Leeds (I have no connection with Leeds). No pouty poses or people's dinners whatsoever.

tumblingdowntherabbithole · 08/06/2025 09:14

I don't understand why people who don't enjoy something can't just say "it's not my kind of thing" rather than sneer and insult anyone who does enjoy it.

arcticpandas · 08/06/2025 09:12

I agree with @Mall03 . Not a question of age though, rather maturity and degree of narcissism/exhibitionism.

Mindyourfunkybusiness · 08/06/2025 09:12

Noshadelamp · 08/06/2025 09:07

I don't actually know myself but that was a selection of the things pp commented saying they use Instagram for!

I don't think anyone needs Instagram 😅

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I'd be willing to give it a go. A lot of what I do is self learning, books, and the community elders but I'm not against using Instagram as a tool.

Personally I've never been into social media so I just genuinely don't know, need is yes a strong word but I'm always willing to improve my skills. By the time I'll be a grandma I'm going to be pro at these skills 😂 hopefully!

I'd never have said these three hobbies of mine would be on Instagram though, naively thought it was more "look what I'm doing" rather than "share and teach skills".

Dweetfidilove · 08/06/2025 09:10

You may have outgrown Instagram, but you still have some growing up to do if you can't see that you were rude (ridiculous).

Noshadelamp · 08/06/2025 09:07

Mindyourfunkybusiness · 08/06/2025 05:41

Is instagram good for recipes, gardening and crochet?! Links to proper recipes not this 10 second stuff?

I don't have social media because I live under a rock cooking, gardening and crocheting 😬 but do I need it is the question 😂

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I don't actually know myself but that was a selection of the things pp commented saying they use Instagram for!

I don't think anyone needs Instagram 😅

CaptainMyCaptain · 08/06/2025 09:07

User79853257976 · 08/06/2025 07:07

Instagram is about posting pictures of yourself - very different.

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It really isn't.

AngelinaFibres · 08/06/2025 08:46

User79853257976 · 08/06/2025 07:07

Instagram is about posting pictures of yourself - very different.

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It absolutely isn't just about posting pictures of yourself. You can do that if you wish but there is so much more on there. Use the search option for any subject you are interested in and you will find lots of things that may help/ inspire you.

MyDeftDuck · 08/06/2025 08:45

Yes, maybe consider putting your brain into gear before opening your mouth! I know countless people on IG who are much older than 30……their choice, their business, not for me to criticise.

CaptainMyCaptain · 08/06/2025 08:43

AngelinaFibres · 08/06/2025 08:39

Have you actually properly explored the potential of instagram. It's far more then people posting pictures of food.

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This. It works on algorithms so if you 'like' pictures of food it shows you more of the same. That says more about the person doing the 'liking' than Instagram itself.

saraclara · 08/06/2025 08:41

As an over-30 user of IG I would have said something like "Oi, cheeky!" Laughed and moved on.

That. I'd respond in the same jokey way (assuming that you said it lightheartedly). Not sulk.

pizzaHeart · 08/06/2025 08:41

CatsMagic · 07/06/2025 22:51

Come on, it was a dig and you know it otherwise you would have just said ‘no, I’m not on IG’

Don’t be one those people that makes smart arse digs and then gets all upset when you piss people off because of it.

I don’t use any social media apart from Facebook, it doesn’t make me special or interesting or cool.

This^
i hope you get if by now.

florizel13 · 08/06/2025 08:40

MmeChoufleur · 08/06/2025 06:41

There’s definitely a difference between browsing IG, and using it to post duck-lipped pouty selfies with silly slogans like “vibing” written over them in big neon letters. If you’re still doing that at 62 then your friends would need to have a word!

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I can assure you I do none of that 😂😂😂 just boring photos of my travels! But it is worrying how addictive it can become …I’m glad I’m not a young woman these days

AngelinaFibres · 08/06/2025 08:39

ChessorBuckaroo · 08/06/2025 01:12

Instagram is definitely for children. The worst is people posting images of food they are about to eat.

Have you actually properly explored the potential of instagram. It's far more then people posting pictures of food.

crossstitchingnana · 08/06/2025 08:38

I’m going against the grain. I think your friend is being over sensitive. It sounds like you were joking. She inferred you were calling her immature, where you were saying you’d outgrown it. A quick conversation about this would sort it, why sulk?

Todayisaday · 08/06/2025 08:33

Saying 'you have grown up' is the same as saying to your friend 'you have not grown up' in this context. Which depending on how it was said and your friendship could easily be seen as very rude.
Replace instagram with something elsenin the sentence and you will see.
Friend: 'do you like my new pink hair accessory'
You 'I wouldn't wear that, because I am a grown up'

Supergirl1958 · 08/06/2025 08:32

YABU, I would have reacted like your friend who called you rude. Instagram is a way of keeping in contact with people and has many positive uses!

CaptainMyCaptain · 08/06/2025 08:32

I'm 70 and on Instagram so I'm not grown up then. I only follow things I'm particularly interested in. @Mall03 you were very rude and patronising. You could have just said you weren't interested in it.

Neemie · 08/06/2025 08:31

Saying comments like this make you sound a bit superior and up your own arse but sometimes they come out. I wouldn’t be upset with you but some people are quite sensitive. I made one about tattoos the other day and had to rapidly cover it by pretending it was down to my dislike of needles, not the fact that I’m judgemental about badly done tattoos.

AngelinaFibres · 08/06/2025 08:29

Fairyliz · 07/06/2025 22:51

Isn’t instagram basically a photo sharing site?

I’m in my 60’s and look at a lot of garden photos, does that make me immature?

I'm 60 and have an Instagram page for my work. I follow lots of different people It's lovely. I didn't realise ( or give a toss) there was an age limit.

Galdownunder · 08/06/2025 08:26

Why do people throw down provocative statements like this and then cry when they get exactly what they wanted - a reaction?

Calamitousness · 08/06/2025 08:25

i think it’s a reasonable thing to say and quite funny. Even if you do still look at IG over 30, you’d know that statements intent and humour behind it. I think those that get offended by it have a sense of humour failure and must be quite hard work. Keep having humour and fun in your life op.

SwimSwamSwimSwam · 08/06/2025 08:24

ScrambledEggs12 · 08/06/2025 08:09

Here I am in my 40s trying to make sense of Instagram to keep up with the young ones....

Me too.

SwimSwamSwimSwam · 08/06/2025 08:23

I'd say it was more cringe to use Mumsnet than Instagram. You were rude.

Koalafan · 08/06/2025 08:22

You gave an honest answer, relating to how you feel about it.
Folk shouldn't ask if they don't want an honest reply.
I do think lots of people over 30 do use IG, but there's also so much 💩 on there that I gave it up too. I did use it in my 40s though.