Friend in a mood with me because of comment I made at dinner

It was a joke, me and my friends can take banter and wouldn’t bat an eyelid, but some people are sensitive. It was a case of you not reading the room, and your friend has taken your comment as passive aggressive, so just apologise and move on. And instagram now, isn't all about immature people doing silly dances, there’s lots of insightful accounts about food, finance, interior design etc that can be very insightful to the over 30s!

I do see what you mean. When people ask why I don’t have TikTok I tell them I’m 33 🤷‍♀️. They know it’s kind of a joke and no one has ever taken offence, so maybe it was your tone/delivery or your friends took it personally. I think it probably came out a bit blunt and there was a better way to phrase it e.g. you’ve lost interest as you’ve grown older, or you used to be into when younger but not anymore etc.

ot to upset more people but Instagram these days is really for 'old' people, i.e. Facebook is for 60+ and Insta probably for 30-50, with a fair few kids using it too, but not posting much

cross-post, I though so 😂

Looking at the extensive use of FB for school parents, and local events, I'd say FB is for any "boring" adult (like me) dealing with kids and ...local things 😂

Odd remark as people of all ages use many different social media platforms.

How incredibly babyish of your friend to be ‘in a mood’. People have different opinions. She should either have taken it up with you or shrugged it off.

do people in their 20s even use Instagram?

I like Instagram, you only follow what you are interested in and you get content of actual interest to you, but I am old.

*Mall03 *
you sound more "cringe" that youngsters who might be using it, in saying you are too good for it, you sound ridiculous.

Not to upset more people but Instagram these days is really for 'old' people, i.e. Facebook is for 60+ and Insta probably for 30-50, with a fair few kids using it too, but not posting much. Anyway that's beside the point...

Whatever reply you would have given though, it wouldn't have been that well received. I get a lot of messages along the lines of 'hey, I don't see you on LinkedIn/Facebook/... anymore, did you block me?' or 'I see you haven't posted for years, are you ok?'

What can you really respond? It's a bit of a strange thing to ask, right?

I might reply 'I just prefer life offline these days' (not adding 'scrolling is the new smoking'😇or whatever else i'd like to say) but I feel that's equally rude. Not sure what a good response to this question is.

As for your friend... You probably need to know your audience. Sounds like that person isn't close enough to you to have honest conversations with, or someone that looks for offence in everything, so you may just have to keep things polite and superficial with her going forward.

You know what you did, either own it or apologise.

Do you usually make comments like this?

I know a couple of people who do the same, and they're insufferable.

It was just a comment and those over 30 on IG taking it personally need hobbies or directing their indignation at bigger things, outside their own bubble. (And to laugh it off and just own that they do IG or whatever because THEY like it & it works for them. So what, if someone like OP or anyone else are past it? This is firmly in the category of “don’t fucking sweat it” on either side of the clumsy comment).

Not the most elegantly reply to your friend, granted, but not something I think you need to apologise for, and not I’d give a 2nd thought if I were the recipient of the comment (50 & on IG - and happy to own my choices, preferences and doing what I bloody like, don’t really care what others think of it, respecting others doing the same :))

You're allowed to have an opinion, OP (FWIW I share yours about Instagram) and to voice it. If your friend is so insecure that she finds it rude or offensive — well, there are always better friends out there. I hate this thing where people try to disapprove of or shut down people who hold different views, it's very unhealthy and authoritarian. How can you be friends with people if you spend your entire time concerned that they might take offence at something you say?

Thank you, when I have a moment I will definitely check it out. I feel the instagram I knew when it first came out is much different to now!

Yes it's a bunch of differently named ways of crocheting - I don't even know what half of its called tbh I look at a "recipe" for making a toy and it gives a list/symbols of what you need to learn - then I ask around or check my grandma's book or youtube 😂 but you can make loads of different things. It's a nice hobby, I took it up because my youngest wanted crochet toys and idk if you've seen the prices of those pokemon ones etc so I took it up and find it relaxing when hanging out at kids training etc i just crochet. People aren't even offended if you do it whilst chatting to them so i love it.

YABU - rude and snarky for no reason, there’s nothing wrong with using Instagram at 30 years old

Your reply was blunt. But if she knows you at all, she will be aware that you have a tendency to reply in this manner.

I think it's fine. If she's in a "mood" about it she is essentially behaving like a teen anyway.

It’s probably the modern day equivalent of your granny teaching you something.
My daughter (20’s) learnt to crochet by following someone. Okay she crochets little skirts and bikinis rather than a blanket for the bed, but I assume it’s the same technique.

IMHO if you know your friends are still on IG, they’ll have taken it as judgemental, insulting and superior. It suggests that no one over 30 (or who’s mature) should be on it, rather than giving your reasons. And it’s not even accurate - people of all ages are on IG. Why’s that bad?

Would have been better to say something like: “I find it all a bit vacuous and juvenile these days”. Or “I don’t have time for it any more”. Always best to focus on your reasons, rather than what you think people in general should do.

However, your friend sounds pretty sensitive. I’d have let that go. Best to respect others’ opinions. If a friend of mine said they thought IG was for young people, that’s fine. They’re entitled to their opinion. Most of my friends aren’t on any social media. Who cares? To each her own.

I'm 57 and I'm on insta (though mainly to keep up with my daughter and her friends who all keep adding me for some reason 😂)

It also enables me to keep up with news from my local football club and a few other things I'm interested in.

I don't post pouty selfies or pictures of my dinner.

Must admit I do enjoy looking at photos of artistically arranged bowls of granola (item: I do not eat granola).

But I thought that was rather a sign of what an old gimmer I am, rather than youthful immaturity.

Your comment meant you think people over 30 who use the app are immature.

People writing about the long out of style 'duck face' and selfies are showing that's the content they see because they like it. (Algorithm)

I'm in my 40s and my favourite is TikTok, the algorithm shows me fantastic content 100% relevant to me.

Turning 30 is barely starting in life from my elderly point of view 😂.

I'm in my 60's and use IG for health and wellbeing....you know you were rude, that's why you've not come back to the thread!

I'm 50 and have had years of 'why aren't you on Facebook/Instagram/Tiktok' or whatever the latest is. I always respond simply that it's not for me. There is no reaaon to be rude or condescending about it (whatever my private thoughts might occasionaly be)

Think you were obviously quite rude. Clearly she uses IG and last I looked, there was no age limit. I find it quite useful to keep up with an ex-colleague and family, I just view their pictures or reels. Telling someone you’ve stopped using something because you grew up is really patronising.

Nothing more cringe than the people who obsess over turning 30 and think they need to change their entire life.

I 'd never have said these three hobbies of mine would be on Instagram though, naively thought it was more "look what I'm doing" rather than "share and teach skills". You would be pleasantly surprised then.

I think your friend needs to relax and appreciate that people can have different opinions and stay friends. I am 64 and find my friends of all ages fall onto a spectrum regarding SM as well as online banking, buying tickets and using tech when travelling, paying with phones or watches etc. It isn’t even age related as there are youngsters who won’t or can’t use technology as well as old folk who have never learned. Personally I love it, DH and I over share wildly to the annoyance of our DC 😂