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Original poster

Friend in a mood with me because of comment I made at dinner

183 replies

Mall03 · 07/06/2025 22:44

Out with friends last night - one has been travelling so I’ve not seen them for over a year. She asked me why I’m not on Instagram anymore; I replied I turned 30 years old and grew up - she laughed.

Another friend who was present (and uses IG) said my reply was rude and that I insinuated anyone over 30 who uses IG needs to grow up.

That’s not what I was saying (although I do find it all a bit cringe these days if I’m honest!).

Do you think my reply was inappropriate or did my friend over react?

OP posts:
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DraigCymraeg · 11/06/2025 08:59

Judging by the woman at the dinner's response and those of many here, I would say you may have a point!
Goodness people are touchy.
My guess is you simply made a throwaway remark and now the wokeratti are up in arms.
You have nothing to apologise for.

Lighteye · 10/06/2025 12:12

I think you have shown a snooty side which is unappealing to a couple of your friends. Just always remember not to make others feel uncomfortable or belittled because something isn’t your thing anymore.

Lighteye · 10/06/2025 12:09

You came across superior.
This would really put me off you even though I’m not on instagram. It was not a nice reply.

spoonbillstretford · 10/06/2025 11:37

It sounds a bit snappy and that you think yourself a cut above, OP @Mall03

Not a nice reaction to a friend you haven't seen for a while. I mean it's fine not to be on social media but not to give the reason that you 'grew up' . It sounds like you have a good deal of growing up to do.

HiddenInCubeOfCheese · 10/06/2025 11:29

Mommy2cy · 10/06/2025 01:16

I don't understand this...

Show quote history

It’s a reference to another thread that was running at the same time. Someone was offended because they were at a cafe that had a sign over the door that read something like “nobody leaves sober” and it triggered some feelings over her family members who had problems with alcohol.

Notmycircusnotmyotter · 10/06/2025 09:28

I think you made a fair statement OP.

Rinks80 · 10/06/2025 08:49

We live in a world where patience is running dry. People care more about a like from strangers than an opinion from a friend.we have to think twice before you say anything! And everyone over here probably have an insta account(including me) so yh it does come across bitcy.😅 think what you like just don't speak your mind.

Mommy2cy · 10/06/2025 01:16

NorfolkandBad · 07/06/2025 22:51

Has your friend recently been to a cafe with a sign and left a review ?

I don't understand this...

BogRollBOGOF · 09/06/2025 22:51

It was an awkward phrasing but she's reading too deeply into it.

FoodAppropriation · 09/06/2025 22:01

Bluedenimdoglover · 09/06/2025 21:50

Wow, ladies, I am surprised by the tone of some of these responses.

care to elaborate?

MyLimeGuide · 09/06/2025 21:52

It's not a big deal and your friend overreacted. YANBU.

Bluedenimdoglover · 09/06/2025 21:50

Wow, ladies, I am surprised by the tone of some of these responses.

Kerry2209 · 09/06/2025 21:17

I can see why she took it that way. Perhaps if you said i turned 30 and grew out of it, It wouldn't have sounded as provocative. If that's what you meant then just say sorry if the way i phrased it sounded rude. I meant as i got older i lost interest in it.

If you did mean it, then say that it's just your opinion that it's for younger people and that you wasn't directing it at her. so if she likes it then it doesn't matter what you think. No need to take it personally.

GreyCarpet · 09/06/2025 20:55

Does it really matter? When did it become such a big problem for other people to have a different opinion?

So what if the OP did sound (or even intend to be) a little bit judgemental. Does it really matter? Why are some people so insecure in their own choices that someone else thinking it's a silly thing to do bothers them so much?

Honestly it's ridiculous.

stclementine · 09/06/2025 20:30

It was very rude and judgemental. If someone is away travelling then it’s a perfect place for posting photos, I’m fact isn’t photos the whole point of Instagram? I’m 50 and never been on it, but my 65 year old sister in law runs her crafting business from Instagram. She’s the most grown up person I’ve ever met 🤣

ZoggyStirdust · 09/06/2025 20:23

tumblingdowntherabbithole · 08/06/2025 09:14

I don't understand why people who don't enjoy something can't just say "it's not my kind of thing" rather than sneer and insult anyone who does enjoy it.

There’s a lot of it on the internet and there’s a lot of it on mumsnet!

Artsyjojo · 09/06/2025 20:18

If I was your friend I would find your comment rather judgemental and condescending to anyone who was still on Instagram. Plenty of people run successful self employed businesses and use Instagram for marketing and are aged above 30. Should all those just quit using it because of their age? Very strange. Fair enough you quit it but why be so sweeping in your condemnation of others still on there. I don't blame your friend's reaction.

DraigCymraeg · 09/06/2025 20:16

Hallelujah - good answer. There are an awful lot of precious little Misses getting their knickers in a twist about OP's comment.
It was a throwaway remark.

ForJollyLemonZebra · 09/06/2025 20:15

People are so touchy ..!

Todayisaday · 08/06/2025 14:22

ElleintheWoods · 08/06/2025 10:06

Not to upset more people but Instagram these days is really for 'old' people, i.e. Facebook is for 60+ and Insta probably for 30-50, with a fair few kids using it too, but not posting much. Anyway that's beside the point...

Whatever reply you would have given though, it wouldn't have been that well received. I get a lot of messages along the lines of 'hey, I don't see you on LinkedIn/Facebook/... anymore, did you block me?' or 'I see you haven't posted for years, are you ok?'

What can you really respond? It's a bit of a strange thing to ask, right?

I might reply 'I just prefer life offline these days' (not adding 'scrolling is the new smoking'😇or whatever else i'd like to say) but I feel that's equally rude. Not sure what a good response to this question is.

As for your friend... You probably need to know your audience. Sounds like that person isn't close enough to you to have honest conversations with, or someone that looks for offence in everything, so you may just have to keep things polite and superficial with her going forward.

Yes this. My son says Facebook is the snapchat for old people 😂

Edenmum2 · 08/06/2025 10:29

Yeah if you knew they were still on it then you come across majorly superior and rude, sorry. There are much better ways of answering

Lins77 · 08/06/2025 10:27

FoodAppropriation · 08/06/2025 10:12

ot to upset more people but Instagram these days is really for 'old' people, i.e. Facebook is for 60+ and Insta probably for 30-50, with a fair few kids using it too, but not posting much

cross-post, I though so 😂

Looking at the extensive use of FB for school parents, and local events, I'd say FB is for any "boring" adult (like me) dealing with kids and ...local things 😂

Facebook definitely for older people (I dislike it and don't use it, but I know several people who do). Insta, not sure, my DD (18) and her friends use it a lot. Most of them seem to have private accounts and post stories for their friends, rather than "posts" as such. And they watch a lot of reels.

Barrenfieldoffucks · 08/06/2025 10:26

Tontostitis · 07/06/2025 22:46

It was a deliberately provocative statement that provided a reaction. You basically called her an immature idiot either stand by it or apologise

Agreed. Surely you're not dense enough not to see the undertone in what you said?

Well, not even an 'under' tone. Especially backed up by your 'cringe' thought.

Supulveda · 08/06/2025 10:26

Tontostitis · 07/06/2025 22:46

It was a deliberately provocative statement that provided a reaction. You basically called her an immature idiot either stand by it or apologise

This. It was a pointed comment.

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