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DH is accusing me of cheating because DS “looks nothing like him” - wtf??

214 replies

Gamyerco · 07/06/2025 19:08

Need to let this out cos I’m fuming. Been with DH nearly a decade, married 7 yrs, DS is 3. Out of nowhere today he says he’s been “thinking for a while” that DS doesn’t look like him and he’s not sure he’s the dad. Like… what??

DS has my colouring - brown eyes, dark hair. DH is lighter, blue eyes, dark blonde. But DS has his exact chin and same daft sticky out ears. It’s not like he came out looking like the postman.

Now DH is moping round the house, barely talking to me, keeps going quiet then saying stuff like “I just can’t stop thinking about it” and “maybe we should do a test”. I’m gobsmacked. Never even looked at another man. Had a bloody EMCS, couldn’t even walk for weeks after giving birth and now he’s chucking this at me?

Told him he’s being ridiculous and hurtful. He reckons he’s “just being honest”. Nah mate, you’re being a prat.

I honestly dunno where this is coming from. He’s never been insecure like this before. I think maybe it’s cos DS is all over me at the moment and barely gives DH the time of day, but still - accusing me of cheating? That’s serious. I’m properly hurt.

Has anyone else had this crap? Did you manage to move past it or is this the start of the end?

OP posts:
887CoffeeX · 07/06/2025 19:15

He's cheating. He wants to break up with you but wants you to do it for him. I'd oblige and do it.

Starlight7080 · 07/06/2025 19:15

Enrichetta · 07/06/2025 19:10

(1) get a DNA test
(2) take steps to leave your ‘D’H

I don’t think there is any coming back from this…

This 100% .

MoominUnderWater · 07/06/2025 19:15

For your ds sake I’d probably get the test to protect their relationship but i couldn’t get past this accusation and I think it would be game over.

SeventeenClovesOfGarlic · 07/06/2025 19:14

TomatoSandwiches · 07/06/2025 19:13

I'd not hang around to be accused of cheating, I'd leave and put my claim in for CM and he can request a test through them.

What a twat.

Boss level move 🙌

LumpyMashedPotato · 07/06/2025 19:14

sameshizz · 07/06/2025 19:10

If this is genuinely the first time he’s acted like this then I’d put money on the fact that he’s projecting and it’s him that’s doing the cheating

Agreed.

I'd actually insist on a paternity test.

ShouldIEvenBother · 07/06/2025 19:14

He's cheating.

It's a classic bit of nonsense that men do when they are the ones falling over and finding their penises in another woman's vagina.

You and your son deserve so much more OP.

TomatoSandwiches · 07/06/2025 19:13

I'd not hang around to be accused of cheating, I'd leave and put my claim in for CM and he can request a test through them.

What a twat.

FrodoBiggins · 07/06/2025 19:12

MignonsMorceaux · 07/06/2025 19:12

Has he been watching incel crap online?

My exact thoughts

Alwayslurkingsometimesposting · 07/06/2025 19:12

I'm so sorry- this is so awful OP :( if I was you I'd do the test and then divorce him! But I know that's easy for me to say as a stranger online. Is he prone to anxiety? Sounds like OCD or something. But quite unforgiveable to put it on you.

MignonsMorceaux · 07/06/2025 19:12

Has he been watching incel crap online?

JustAnInchident · 07/06/2025 19:11

sameshizz · 07/06/2025 19:10

If this is genuinely the first time he’s acted like this then I’d put money on the fact that he’s projecting and it’s him that’s doing the cheating

Mm. I thought the same. Either way, I’d be done with the marriage. It’s utterly appalling for him to accuse you of this and I couldn’t forgive it.

WillYouDoTheFandango · 07/06/2025 19:10

Normally it’s coming from guilt that they’ve cheated and projecting it onto you. Any chance that’s the case?

I’d be absolutely fuming if I was accused of this. I don’t know I could ever forget it.

Enrichetta · 07/06/2025 19:10

(1) get a DNA test
(2) take steps to leave your ‘D’H

I don’t think there is any coming back from this…

sameshizz · 07/06/2025 19:10

If this is genuinely the first time he’s acted like this then I’d put money on the fact that he’s projecting and it’s him that’s doing the cheating