DH is accusing me of cheating because DS “looks nothing like him” - wtf??

I agree, she shouldn’t have to. But since he’s put her in this position it’s test results and divorce papers in one envelope for me.

Why should a faithful wife have to be put through the humiliation of "proving" herself? Its positively Victorian, misogynistic and totally disrespectful. I wouldn't do it, but if you do OP only do so so that you can hand him the result at the same time as the divorce papers. They are a package imo.

This!
What a terrible shock OP. He sounds a complete prick.

hey op, any update?

I would be assuming there's a whole load of factors I'm not taking into consideration I think. He sounds like he has one foot out of the door but is trying to get you to pull the plug. So much for the alpha male shizz eh?

What an arse.
Like others, I'd have the DNA test, but all carried out at the doctors, I'd verified etc.
Counselling may be worth a shot if this really is a recent character change, but In all honesty, I don't think you can come back from this. Personally I would struggle to forgive the accusation, it's obviously not taken much for him to be persuaded down Tates grim rabbit hole, and for him to take the 'side' of that misogynistic crap over his lived reality shows a real lack of critical thinking.
Again, as others have suggested, the liklihood that he's projecting his guilty conscience is high.

My ex got a DNA test. He had reasons which were actually valid, but in hindsight he hadn’t wanted to have kids with me and would have liked an excuse to disengage without looking like the bad guy. I found it very difficult but our relationship was controlling and abusive anyway.

In this case the only answer is to give him the DNA test (but he can pay for it) and that shuts him up- but, like you, it would make me reconsider the whole relationship.

He's got one eye on the door but he's trying to make it your fault

Sounds like he's been cheating on you. There's a lot of projection in the sort of people who betray their partners.

@Gamyerco what you don’t want is a DNA testing kit you do yourselves from home. If you’re going to leave him then leave FIRST, then get him to demand the paternity test through the CMS after you’ve made a claim for maintenance through them.
IMPORTANTLY they make you get an appointment with a GP who does the DNA swab and they make you take in photographic ID so nobody can fake it! The GP confirms all parties are who they say they are. All three of you will have to have a DNA swab (it’s just a cotton bud rubbed on the inner cheek). I went through this when my DC’s biological father didn’t believe he was the dad.

I agree. He is a cheat. Get the kit. Call his bluff and then have CSA pursue him. You and your child are better off without him.

Perfect

I'd do the DNA test just to draw a line under it, but i'd probably counter with asking him to do an STD test as I couldn't trust him either.
Then divorce the twat.

I would do the DNA test, print the results off and hand them to him.
When he smiles with relief at the obvious answer that his son is actually his….
I would hand him divorce papers.
But that’s just me.

Sorry? Dont you dare get a test done! You know HE IS HIS SON!! Christ, say to him "Why do I need to get a test done when YOU are the one cheating!!!" Then dont say another word, he needs to fill in the blank. I would be fuming!!

How are you feeling today, @Gamyerco?

You must feel like the rug's been pulled out from under you! What he'd said will be almost impossible to get past, I think. Even if you manage to move past it, you might forgive, but you won't forget.

Asking for his phone at the same time you agree to a DNA test is the right call.

I mean what can he say? ‘Don’t you trust me?’ Ummmmm…

I’m sure he’ll then say no I was being silly I know he mine just to stop you accessing his phone but the damage is done. Tell him that if he chooses not to give you his phone after the outrageous accusation he has made against you, you will assume he is cheating and has a guilty conscience.

Make it clear there is no coming back after this conversation as the trust will be completely broken without full disclosure. But then you have to follow through and separate or your words me nothing.

I agree with speaking. That the marriage only continues with a full grovelling apology and a pledge to not access that poisonous nonsense misogynistic content anymore particularly as you have a young son. He is clearly easily influenced not particularly bright and doesn’t have the critical thinking abilities to be able to use the internet safely.

I went through something kind of similar...
2 kids, both their dad's colouring. But features look like my side of the family. Boy looks just like my dad/brother as kids but my daughter is my twin and everyone says it straight away. No issues raised.
11months after splitting and unfortunately while reading court papers i find out that I apparently had numerous affairs and he doesn't believe our daughter is his. Wants a DNA test. Just like you, I said yes for my daughter as I didn't want it hanging over her head. Sneaky liar then apparently went and did the dna test behind mine and the courts back and was 'proud and happy to announce' in court that she was his... no surprise there.
I've never cheated and he has no reason to believe i had given no free time whatsoever.
All about his Ego, and now I know it was actually him cheating.
I had obviously split already when I was told this, but I was devastated... mainly for my kids. I can honestly say if the father of my child said that to me while we were in a relationship... we would be done. That breaks all trust and respect.
Sorry you're going through this, just remember you haven't done anything wrong, listen to your gut and get the dna test just so you have the paperwork for your child (i have never been supplied any paperwork... suspicious). Good luck.

His accusation is horrendous. Don’t sweep this under the carpet - it’s poisonous.

Yes, dark is dominant but it’s not always the outcome.

I have brown eyes. My daughter has blue; like her dad.

My sister’s son has blue eyes. Both she and his dad have brown. His dad also has brown skin. He’s definitely his child! This is rare but it’s perfectly genetically possible.

My other sister has brown eyes and both her children have blue, like their dad.

How dare he!

This and counselling. Good luck OP.

You sound like a great Mum. Whatever happens, you and your son have each other.

I'd add a condition.

You'll get the test and if (when) it proves his parentage, he'll agree to stop watching Andrew Tate and other manosphere types, in recognition of the fact that his absorbing of their bullshit has taken your marraige, and his relationship to his son, to the brink.

Find strength in your anger and your decision to cut this absolute bastard from your life. Put yourself and your son first.