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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Stretch the truth to avoid going out to dinner

84 replies

Ruggerlass · 07/06/2025 15:58

I’m supposed to be meeting friends in a couple of days for dinner. I’ve found out the restaurant that is booked has a hygiene rating of 1. I really don’t want to go. My predicament is should I be honest and say why I don’t want to go and risk upsetting friend who’s booked it or stretch the truth to keep the peace. I should say friend is not particularly fussy where she eats.

OP posts:
ChaToilLeam · 08/06/2025 12:25

You've done the right thing, OP! If your friend kicks off over this she's an idiot - she should be thanking you for looking out for you all. Food poisoning is not fun.

ScurryfungeSpuddle · 08/06/2025 12:16

bluesinthenight · 08/06/2025 10:40

What is wrong with us women? Why can't we just tell the truth? Why are we so hellbent on protecting other people's feelings even to the detriment of our own wellbeing? I speak as one who would also have a problem telling them the reason I didn't want to go, even though I know that doesn't make any sense. Tell them, op. You could all book for somewhere better.

I find it’s mostly Mumnetters rather than women in general.

All the ‘pop a note through the door’ or ‘I don’t like confrontation’ when simple face to face conversation is suggested, gets a bit ridiculous really.

StooOrangeyForCrows · 08/06/2025 12:10

ObliviousCoalmine · 07/06/2025 17:25

A 1? Is it just a wheelbarrow serving soup?!

A wheelbarrow serving soup!!! 😂😂😂😂

Ivy888 · 08/06/2025 11:42

Gosh a 1 star rating god hygiene is gross! And just a potential health risk! It’s possible the person who booked it isn’t aware so I’d just be honest, point it out and say you’re not going to risk your health. Honestly, if they still want to eat there knowing it has a 1 star hygiene rating then they are very very weird.
I don’t know what a restaurant has to do to get a 1 star rating but I’m guessing it involves rodents, mouldy food or having cooked and uncooked chicken side by side. Whatever it is, you’re risking food poisoning.

If you feel uncomfortable being honest about this because you fear their reaction then I think you need to step back and think hard about this friendship. If you can’t be honest about health risks this isn’t a friendship, but then she’s a bully.

Myblueclematis · 08/06/2025 11:38

I'm the biggest fusspot about eating anywhere other than home so I would be a big fat NO to going there. I'd just say I don't want to eat there so I won't come😱

MyDeftDuck · 08/06/2025 11:34

Do tell her the truth……..fibs only come back and bite you on the arse! And to be honest, with such a low hygiene rating why would you risk letting your friend eat there anyway? She might become very poorly.

Skybluepinky · 08/06/2025 11:28

Send them the rating, they are probably unaware.

positivelybedeviled · 08/06/2025 11:16

You have absolutely done the right thing by being truthful op, I am astounded that anyone would want to eat in such an establishment!

CoraPirbright · 08/06/2025 11:05

Well done OP. Quite right!

Also this friend of yours sounds like a piece of work - only wanting to go local to her? Going off the deep end? She sounds horrible!

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 08/06/2025 10:57

Am I the only one who’s never checked the hygiene rating of anywhere we were planning to eat? 😮

Mamabear487 · 08/06/2025 10:49

Just say you’re not feeling well on the day with a migraine or something. I wouldn’t think to much about it

bluesinthenight · 08/06/2025 10:41

I just read the update. Well done, op!!!

BobbyBiscuits · 08/06/2025 10:40

I would tell them! A restaurant my family used to go to regularly got shunned when I discovered they had a zero?! Don't even know how they were still operating.

bluesinthenight · 08/06/2025 10:40

What is wrong with us women? Why can't we just tell the truth? Why are we so hellbent on protecting other people's feelings even to the detriment of our own wellbeing? I speak as one who would also have a problem telling them the reason I didn't want to go, even though I know that doesn't make any sense. Tell them, op. You could all book for somewhere better.

bluesinthenight · 08/06/2025 10:37

LumpyMashedPotato · 07/06/2025 16:01

I'd just say
"Hey guys! Just noticed the hygiene rating is one?!🤢 You have to be doing some pretty gross stuff to score a 4 so lord knows what they are doing there!?!
Can we go somewhere else? A and B look nice..."

My friends who are chefs will NOT eat anywhere with a 4. 5s only... and that sentiment seems to be pretty universal amongst them
I now only eat in 5s

Edited

Someone told me that a rating of 4 is often down to the establishment not having the correct paperwork by the time of the inspection., Is that incorrect?

TodoRonnieRonRon · 08/06/2025 10:10

ObliviousCoalmine · 07/06/2025 17:25

A 1? Is it just a wheelbarrow serving soup?!

Almost choked on my cereal! 😂

JMSA · 07/06/2025 19:02

Oh, I see you’ve taken action already. Good for you! 👏

JMSA · 07/06/2025 19:01

I would just say ‘Hi. An acquaintance of mine has just become ill after eating at our choice of restaurant. I’ve just checked the hygiene rating and it’s a 1!! 😱 Would you like me to book elsewhere?”

Easy.

Sunshineaftertherain1 · 07/06/2025 17:51

Ruggerlass · 07/06/2025 17:44

Yes it does. Includes all places that sells/serves food

Sorry, what I meant to ask was if a takeaway would also be closed down if it had a 1 star rating for over 2 weeks. As ours has had a 1 star rating for 6 months!

Its the only one that delivers to us but even I refuse to eat there anymore.

Ruggerlass · 07/06/2025 17:44

Sunshineaftertherain1 · 07/06/2025 17:35

Does this include takeaways? I looked online recently and my local takeaway has a 1 star rating and says January 2025.

Yes it does. Includes all places that sells/serves food

OP posts:
MsTamborineMan · 07/06/2025 17:38

You don't have to bail

Just say "I've seen the place we're going has a 1 star hygeine rating, shall we go somewhere else? Here are some options..". Then everyone else will say "yes I'm not eating somewhere with 1 stars". And you will all eat elsewhere. No one wants to eat somewhere with a 1 star hygeine rating. Even if the friend of yours who's keen to eat in dirty restaurant still wants to eat there the majority of the group will dictate otherwise

Only if by some madness most people are happy to eat somewhere with a 1star hygeine rating do you need to bail

Flashahah · 07/06/2025 17:35

ObliviousCoalmine · 07/06/2025 17:25

A 1? Is it just a wheelbarrow serving soup?!

Bring back the laughing 😆!

But seriously OP, whatever you say I wouldn’t be going!

Sunshineaftertherain1 · 07/06/2025 17:35

Dartmoorcheffy · 07/06/2025 16:06

I would check on trip advisor and look at recent reviews as hygiene ratings are not always updated quickly. If they got a 1 then there were serious issues and the EHO would have been back within 2 weeks to check improvement had been done and if it hadn't then they would have been closed down.

Does this include takeaways? I looked online recently and my local takeaway has a 1 star rating and says January 2025.

Ruggerlass · 07/06/2025 17:28

Thank you all for your replies. I’ve been honest and put on the group chat my reasons for bailing. I’ve suggested a couple of alternatives which are 5 rating but more expensive. Others have just messaged me shocked that this place has been booked and they too don’t want to eat there. So we’ll see

OP posts:
OldWomanInACardigan · 07/06/2025 17:26

ObliviousCoalmine · 07/06/2025 17:25

A 1? Is it just a wheelbarrow serving soup?!

😂😂

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