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Original poster

40 year old man - spoilt by mummy

104 replies

Profpudding · 07/06/2025 12:47

If this was your son, what would you make of it?
Just spotted my younger 40-year-old brother on holiday with his mother.
Alone
He has six children and he couldn’t have taken one of them with him.
He would’ve only been paying for airfare, Parents cover everything else when they get there so we’re actually saying that it didn’t cross anybody’s mind. To invite the children.
I would also point out that these kids have probably never had a holiday in their life. They’ve been raised in absolute poverty due to his lack of contribution generally.
If that was my son, I’d be kicking him up the arse not buying him an ice cream
Oh, and he does work.

OP posts:
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BeWittyRobin · 09/06/2025 16:21

Oh, well I do think taking one and choosing one would be even more complicated in that situation and could actually cause more hostility amongst the siblings. Xx

HopscotchBanana · 08/06/2025 18:51

Profpudding · 08/06/2025 18:11

Yes, I can completely see how I’m the problem here silly old me 🙄

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You can't seem to see that this is your problem though.

You hate your brother and your mum. You hate their relationship. You know why this is, and it's got nothing to do with his parenting. Pictures of them having a nice time has pissed you off immensely.

Instead of making swipes at people on benefits and people with (the horror!) children with more than one person, perhaps some reflection on why you can't bear either your parent or your sibling.

Original poster
Profpudding · 08/06/2025 18:11

BeenzManeenz · 08/06/2025 17:55

You are though. You've just come off as a mean spirited busy body on this (utterly pointless) post. Saying horrible things about your brother, making judgemental statements about people on benefits (so what if they are on them?).

I hope you find something that makes you happy in life because you must be deeply unhappy to be like this.

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Yes, I can completely see how I’m the problem here silly old me 🙄

OP posts:
BeenzManeenz · 08/06/2025 17:55

Profpudding · 08/06/2025 14:10

Ahhh the old bitter and jealous gaslighting

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You are though. You've just come off as a mean spirited busy body on this (utterly pointless) post. Saying horrible things about your brother, making judgemental statements about people on benefits (so what if they are on them?).

I hope you find something that makes you happy in life because you must be deeply unhappy to be like this.

BIossomtoes · 08/06/2025 17:51

Profpudding · 08/06/2025 17:27

Yes, I can.
I replied specifically to one poster and answered their specific question.
That does not change the course of the whole conversation

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Not been on MN long,have you?

HopscotchBanana · 08/06/2025 17:50

RampantIvy · 08/06/2025 15:12

There are three mums in this case. The brother likes to spread his seed.

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Then it's "mums" not mum.

Makes little difference to the principle of non contact time.

Original poster
Profpudding · 08/06/2025 17:27

BIossomtoes · 08/06/2025 17:25

To be fair what the mothers do or don’t do is absolutely irrelevant to this conversation.

It isn’t. You said they were “obviously” funded by the taxpayer. You can’t suddenly say it’s irrelevant when it suits you.

Yes, I can.
I replied specifically to one poster and answered their specific question.
That does not change the course of the whole conversation

OP posts:
BIossomtoes · 08/06/2025 17:25

To be fair what the mothers do or don’t do is absolutely irrelevant to this conversation.

It isn’t. You said they were “obviously” funded by the taxpayer. You can’t suddenly say it’s irrelevant when it suits you.

Original poster
Profpudding · 08/06/2025 17:03

MissRaspberryRipples · 08/06/2025 16:55

To be fair their mums could be working. It's not necessarily the case that they're all sat on full benefits..by your own admission you've not even met the two youngest kids their mum could've got herself a job-its not impossible. I'm a single parent myself and don't sit on benefits

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To be fair what the mothers do or don’t do is absolutely irrelevant to this conversation.

The First Two for the time that I knew them were on benefits and, what else were they supposed to do given the circumstances?
That may have changed it may not again. It has absolutely nothing to do. With the issue hand

OP posts:
MissRaspberryRipples · 08/06/2025 16:55

Profpudding · 08/06/2025 12:36

Obviously

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To be fair their mums could be working. It's not necessarily the case that they're all sat on full benefits..by your own admission you've not even met the two youngest kids their mum could've got herself a job-its not impossible. I'm a single parent myself and don't sit on benefits

RampantIvy · 08/06/2025 15:12

HopscotchBanana · 08/06/2025 14:23

If he's not with the mum, presumably this is her contact time, so no he shouldn't be taking the children anywhere?

What their mum does in her free time is not the dad's concern and vice versa.

You hating your mum and your brother, and them having gone away together and the pictures winding you up, I would suggest is an entirely separate issue.

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There are three mums in this case. The brother likes to spread his seed.

HopscotchBanana · 08/06/2025 14:23

Profpudding · 07/06/2025 13:14

Would Taking them on holiday, not make their lives easier give them a bit of joy ?
As a grandparent, would you be buying your 40-year-old an ice cream when you don’t see the other kids the actual children
I just find it all incredible

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If he's not with the mum, presumably this is her contact time, so no he shouldn't be taking the children anywhere?

What their mum does in her free time is not the dad's concern and vice versa.

You hating your mum and your brother, and them having gone away together and the pictures winding you up, I would suggest is an entirely separate issue.

Original poster
Profpudding · 08/06/2025 14:10

BeenzManeenz · 08/06/2025 13:49

This reads like you are bitter and jealous he got a free holiday. Its nothing to do with you, mind your own business.

If you're bothered about his kids being neglected then call social services. But that isn't really what this post is about, is it.

If my brother went on holiday with my parents I'd think nothing of it, I'd say have a lovely time, send me photos.

Ahhh the old bitter and jealous gaslighting

OP posts:
BeenzManeenz · 08/06/2025 13:49

This reads like you are bitter and jealous he got a free holiday. Its nothing to do with you, mind your own business.

If you're bothered about his kids being neglected then call social services. But that isn't really what this post is about, is it.

If my brother went on holiday with my parents I'd think nothing of it, I'd say have a lovely time, send me photos.

Original poster
Profpudding · 08/06/2025 13:00

BIossomtoes · 08/06/2025 12:59

But they could be. You’re just determined to paint the mothers of those children as feckless scroungers.

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Honestly, I couldn’t care less whether they claim benefits or not. Far as I’m concerned, the father should be paying for them. He could afford the First Two if he couldn’t afford the subsequent 345 and six, then they shouldn’t have been born.
What the mothers do is have no interest to me. They are not my relatives.
It’s hardly not feckless though to have additional children with somebody that doesn’t see the first two or the first four no pay for any of them.

OP posts:
BIossomtoes · 08/06/2025 12:59

Profpudding · 08/06/2025 12:55

Well, they’re not the subject of this discussion.

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But they could be. You’re just determined to paint the mothers of those children as feckless scroungers.

Original poster
Profpudding · 08/06/2025 12:55

BIossomtoes · 08/06/2025 12:53

Maybe they’re not working but it’s far from obvious that they’re not. There are tens of thousands of single parents who work.

Well, they’re not the subject of this discussion.

OP posts:
BIossomtoes · 08/06/2025 12:53

Maybe they’re not working but it’s far from obvious that they’re not. There are tens of thousands of single parents who work.

Original poster
Profpudding · 08/06/2025 12:52

BIossomtoes · 08/06/2025 12:44

That’s not obvious at all, their mothers could easily be working.

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They aren’t.
Just because the mother’s only have two children with him each does not mean that was the end of their parenting journey.

OP posts:
GreenCandleWax · 08/06/2025 12:50

BoundaryGirl3939 · 08/06/2025 09:27

Maybe your mother feels he is vulnerable and lost in life. Parents tend to become focused on the weaker children. Perhaps they both have similar weaknesses and can identify with each other.

Issues like this used to annoy me years ago. My brother got away with murder. Now I realise that my brother is an anxious and underconfident mess who struggles to cope. I don't mind the extra leeway as right now he can't cope.

Not sure what the underlying issue with your brother is but I would let them at it, and just be glad I'm not him.

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Let's hope that your brother who unfortunately cannot cope, did not or does not manage to "cope" with creating six pregnancies with different women. There's no excuse for that. Hoping your DB is not similar in his behaviour to OP's anti social irresponsible deadbeat B.

ZoggyStirdust · 08/06/2025 12:44

GreenCandleWax · 08/06/2025 11:56

Where do you get "unemployed" from. OP was clear in her post that "he does work". Did you not read this?

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Misread. It happens. I apologise but there’s no need for you to point it out quite so aggressively…

makes no difference to my point. He’s fine to have a holiday, fine that it’s with his parents, fine that he’s not taken all (any of) his kids. Not fine he doesn’t contribute

BIossomtoes · 08/06/2025 12:44

Profpudding · 08/06/2025 12:36

Obviously

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That’s not obvious at all, their mothers could easily be working.

Original poster
Profpudding · 08/06/2025 12:36

GreenCandleWax · 08/06/2025 12:33

Who is paying for their upkeep? Is it the taxpayer? 😡

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Obviously

OP posts:
GreenCandleWax · 08/06/2025 12:33

countingthedays945 · 07/06/2025 19:59

Anyone who has 6 kids, unless they earn a shit load of money, is a waster in my book. It reeks of a lack of responsibility. Going on holiday with his mother is the least of his negative traits!

Who is paying for their upkeep? Is it the taxpayer? 😡

GreenCandleWax · 08/06/2025 12:29

Createausername1970 · 07/06/2025 13:48

Not wanting to criticise other women, but if you are the third or fourth in a line, then it's also what the mother has knowingly signed up to. He had shown his true colours six times.

Your brother's choices are not reasonable but it generally takes two to make a baby and contraception is definitely something the female can take control over in this day and age.

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"the female"? 😒