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AIBU?

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Original poster

To feel the teachers are very cold

37 replies

Deedsdh · 07/06/2025 07:53

(Nothing against teachers at all. Both my sisters are teachers).

I just feel my kids school the teachers are very cold. There seems to be no warmth when engaging with them. The head and deputy head are lovely and very smiley but the teaching staff themselves seem really annoyed all the time. I introduced myself to DS’s teacher for next year and she just looked at me like “what do you want from me” type of look. Anyone else feel like this?

OP posts:
Original poster
Deedsdh · 07/06/2025 08:09

Pyramyth · 07/06/2025 08:04

Not my experience at all - my children's teachers ask me about how I am when they see me and similarly I'll speak to parents about their holidays/jobs/dogs at the school where I teach. I can't say I've ever had a parent introduce themselves to me in the summer term but I suppose I'd be pleasantly surprised if I did. I can understand less chatty teachers might assume you had a specific question though. About 3 weeks from the end of term I'll be thinking about next year but right not I'm still very much in a 'this year' head space.

It’s funny you say that as it’s around 3.5 weeks till end of term! It’s a private school. My eldest was in a state for infants and I felt the teachers more happy to engage. Here they just dismiss and don’t even get involved in any conversations. I would have thought the other way around as in state her class was around 31 kids and here it’s 15 kids. I would have thought the state would be more stressed but each of her teachers greeted me warmly at every drop off and pick up. I have to say good morning first every time

OP posts:
Marilla1966 · 07/06/2025 08:06

StScholastica · 07/06/2025 07:58

Maybe the head and deputy head who are all smiles to the parents, are right bastards to the teaching staff.

This was my first thought.

AllTheEnergy · 07/06/2025 08:04

My youngest is just doing her GCSEs and I’ve had two children go through school. I’ve found the vast majority of teachers to be lovely and very supportive with many going above and beyond what I’d expect. They really seem invested in the children. Between my two children, they’ve had maybe 4 or 5 teachers that didn’t seem interested, engaged or particularly friendly. It’s been the minority though.

On the other hand, lot of the SLT at their secondary were cold and horrible. I know they’re under a lot of pressure but they make the kids miserable and the school unwelcoming to parents and children and maybe the teachers too.

Pyramyth · 07/06/2025 08:04

Not my experience at all - my children's teachers ask me about how I am when they see me and similarly I'll speak to parents about their holidays/jobs/dogs at the school where I teach. I can't say I've ever had a parent introduce themselves to me in the summer term but I suppose I'd be pleasantly surprised if I did. I can understand less chatty teachers might assume you had a specific question though. About 3 weeks from the end of term I'll be thinking about next year but right not I'm still very much in a 'this year' head space.

JamesWebbSpaceTelescope · 07/06/2025 08:00

Teachers not only have to run their classrooms they also have to be bubbly and chatty to parents at all times. The teacher in question wasn’t rude just not warm.

Given we don’t know the circumstances of the introduction it is hard to say if it was an inappropriate reaction. At a meet the teacher evening it would be a bit off. In the playground when they are dealing with other stuff then a lot more understandable.

Olderbeforemytime · 07/06/2025 08:00

What year group? How much have you interacted with the teachers?

My youngest is in reception and when I met one of her teachers I thought we was going to be more distant but she is so lovely with the kids, I never seen her not cuddle a crying child and she is lovely with parents too.

MudLark87 · 07/06/2025 07:59

I'd also suggest the head and deputy might not be so warm and friendly to their staff.
Data crunching and moderating meetings are going on right now as end of year assessments take place. It is a really stressful time, though absolutely no excuse why you should feel the brunt of it!
Is it always the same? High turnover?

StScholastica · 07/06/2025 07:58

Maybe the head and deputy head who are all smiles to the parents, are right bastards to the teaching staff.

Fingerpie · 07/06/2025 07:56

Deedsdh · 07/06/2025 07:55

My sister said the same thing btw when she came with me for a meeting about my DD , don’t want to get into the details but basically I was worried about something and my sister came with be fir moral support. It was all sorted and school are keeping an eye on her

So the school responded proactively and effectively to your concern?

how about focussing on that rather than whether they smile at you

modgepodge · 07/06/2025 07:56

Well everyone is different of course, but having worked with hundreds of teachers over the years the ones you describe are in the minority in my experience, so it’s very unfortunate that at your child’s school they’re all like it!

My daughters teacher is an odd character, he’s so awkward and emotionless when speaking to parents but he must transform inside the classroom cos the children adore him and think he’s hilarious!

Fingerpie · 07/06/2025 07:55

Do you get on with your sisters? 😆

not my experience at all

Original poster
Deedsdh · 07/06/2025 07:55

My sister said the same thing btw when she came with me for a meeting about my DD , don’t want to get into the details but basically I was worried about something and my sister came with be fir moral support. It was all sorted and school are keeping an eye on her

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