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People who always big themselves up..

109 replies

craxer · 07/06/2025 07:25

Do you know anyone who’s always signing their own praises, one way or another ?

my brother and sister in law are like this. It’s so tiring.

sis in law is ALWAYS bigging up my brother and herself and brother is always bigging himself up.

example - it’s ridiculous but she even manages to big herself up regarding health problems. She had a recent health issue and went to see a doctor about it. The doctor told her that it was pretty bad. She was like ‘ he was so surprised I was ok. But you know me ! So strong and I just get on with stuff !’…

or it’s ‘ you know me, I can’t ever sit still and I need to be working and doing things all the time. I never relax. I’m just always busy being productive. ‘

or about my brother ‘ he’s just amazing, all his colleagues respect him so much ‘ ‘ you know how intelligent your brother is, he just knows everything ‘…

my brother is constantly complaining how stupid other people are. ‘ I deal all day with other people’s low intelligence and stupidity’ he’s actually told me before that he thinks he’s better than everyone and has an extremely high opinion of himself.

these are just a couple of examples that come to mind and maybe it bothers me, because I know he thinks he’s better than everyone. But it’s hard to take sometimes !

OP posts:
Oatsamazing · 07/06/2025 08:09

I have a couple of colleagues like this, I've assumed it comes from an insecurity in some way. Some days it's amusing but mostly it's irritating.

Fingerpie · 07/06/2025 08:06

MermaidMummy06 · 07/06/2025 08:04

My BIL bigges up their finances every time we see them. Not so subtle references to them being wealthier than us. An absolute dick.

My DB bigges up finances too. Especially his house value, investments etc. Thing is, I see his finances through work (he knows this) and he has nothing to brag about. I'd actually use the word dire. It worries me a lot.

I just don't engage. I see it as their own insecurities or looking for approval. It's not my job to affirm or destroy it.

I’m intrigued how you see all your brother’s finances through work?!

MermaidMummy06 · 07/06/2025 08:04

My BIL bigges up their finances every time we see them. Not so subtle references to them being wealthier than us. An absolute dick.

My DB bigges up finances too. Especially his house value, investments etc. Thing is, I see his finances through work (he knows this) and he has nothing to brag about. I'd actually use the word dire. It worries me a lot.

I just don't engage. I see it as their own insecurities or looking for approval. It's not my job to affirm or destroy it.

ThePhantomoftheEcobubbleOpera · 07/06/2025 08:04

If you step back a bit from this feeling personal, that's quite funny. I'd lean into it and start praising them over the tiniest things for sport...oh this salt cellar is beautiful but then you really do have the most amazing eye for home design, don't you sil...and, you know, play with it a bit and even if they don't get the message it'll be amusing.

Fingerpie · 07/06/2025 08:04

TasWair · 07/06/2025 08:02

Oooh interesting! My ADHD son is a bit like this too, it's like he doesn't get that deprecating thing people do. I've had to teach him not to say he's brilliant at the stuff he's brilliant at, whilst confirming that he's brilliant, of course! Didn't know it was an adhd thing.

Definitely is.

My son will talk at me for hours about his achievements but he doesn’t want me to ask questions or even seems particularly bothered whether I listen!

but he’s such a lovely boy and the psychiatrist said that as he grows he will learn to mask better this rather unpleasant side!

TasWair · 07/06/2025 08:02

Fingerpie · 07/06/2025 07:58

Aside from my (lovely) ADHD teen boy, thankfully no. I do not.

Oooh interesting! My ADHD son is a bit like this too, it's like he doesn't get that deprecating thing people do. I've had to teach him not to say he's brilliant at the stuff he's brilliant at, whilst confirming that he's brilliant, of course! Didn't know it was an adhd thing.

misskatamari · 07/06/2025 08:01

Thankfully I don’t. However I’ve done enough of my own inner work to see this and recognise how deeply they must be masking some insecurities, which makes me feel a bit sorry for them. Which wouldn’t make it any less annoying to be around. I find people like infuriatingly inauthentic as they are working so hard, unconsciously, to make themselves feel better than other people, it’s hard to relax in their presence and have genuine connection.

Fingerpie · 07/06/2025 07:58

Odd you seem to spend so much time with your brother given you really don’t seem to like him!

Fingerpie · 07/06/2025 07:58

Aside from my (lovely) ADHD teen boy, thankfully no. I do not.