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Original poster

I got married yesterday and I can't stop crying.

534 replies

MoreThanOverwhelmed · 07/06/2025 05:07

DH has cancer. (Diagnosed Jan 2024)
We were supposed to get married - at simple 2+2 ceremony at the end of the month but his Dr's etc encouraged us to bring the date forwards, so we got married yesterday in the hospital where my DH is being cared for.
I'm a week post major abdominal surgery.
We have 2 primary aged DC
It's our youngest DCs birthday this month.

I don't know what I want from this post but I can't stop crying.
I don't think that I know how break it to the DC that Daddy isn't going to get better and come home.
My head is swimming & I don't know what to do.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Bikergran · 22/07/2025 08:15

Just take one day at a time, one foot in front of the other, grief never goes but it becomes easier to deal with. Love and support your children, take time for yourself. Don't be afraid to smile. Sending lots of love and hugs.

VIOLETPUGH · 22/07/2025 07:54

MoreThanOverwhelmed · 21/07/2025 18:31

It was DH's funeral today.
I drank too much.
I've been sick.
My parents have taken DC for dinner.
I still feel sick.
I hate this.

Oh how very very sad, sending virtual love and hugs to you and yours. 💔

Bluespecs · 22/07/2025 07:47

I am so very sorry for your loss ❤️

Jaichangecentfoisdenom · 22/07/2025 07:29

So sorry, @MoreThanOverwhelmed. No wonder your are more than overwhelmed. Sending you more love and hugs. Glad your family is around to take care of you and the children.

IamEarthymama · 22/07/2025 07:19

I am so sorry to hear this sad news.
Be kind to yourself today.

sashh · 22/07/2025 07:12

So sorry. And yes the drinking is understandable.

Toomanydogwalks · 22/07/2025 07:07

Well done for getting through yesterday, totally understandable that you had a few drinks. Lots of water today, eat something if you can.

The wise words from a group I’m in is ‘go gently’. Be kind and gentle to yourself OP.

It will take time but you will be OK.

Izz81 · 22/07/2025 07:06

Absolutely heartbreaking, I remember reading this thread last month. Tight hand hold, time does ease the pain but as with any loss its a varying distance on the road out of grief and this kind of loss will be a long road but you will get there. This thread is filled with great advice I cant add much just echoing to concentrate on you and your little ones, poor kids, you all need the tightest hand hold and hugs. Utilise family and friends, hoping they have rallied round for you dont be afraid to reach out but also dont be afraid to say if you find it overwhelming.

I will say this about MN and ive been on here for years and years in various usernames, Mumsnetters are and have always been great at rallying online in threads like this so you can always come here to find help or just to offload. Thinking of you and your children. I am so sorry for your loss. x

Gremlins101 · 22/07/2025 07:05

I am so so sorry for your loss OP. Be very gentle with yourself, love to you and your children 💐❤️

Letshavetea1 · 22/07/2025 07:04

Love and best wishes to you @MoreThanOverwhelmed take time for yourself and your lovely children and family. So sorry for your loss of your lovely husband. Is it worth seeing your GP for some support?

Maddy70 · 22/07/2025 06:58

Congratulations on your wedding. I know it wasn't the ideal scenario but two people coming together to be married should be celebrated :) , tell us about it, make it something nice to remember. I'm sure your husband loved making you his wife, and you will always have this memory that even in this late stage you have something brilliant. Your children will be fine. They are more resilient than you think at that age. It's you that needs looking after now on every way. Do you have family around you that can look after you post surgery as well as practically supporting you with your children and emotionally with what you are going through ?

Edit just seen the update.
I'm so sorry , please reach out for support, you are not alone

BlueBelle7979 · 22/07/2025 06:16

I'm so very sorry for your loss x

Letsgoforaskip · 22/07/2025 06:08

So very sorry for your tragic loss. Your love shines through every post.
Sending you lots of love and strength ❤️

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 22/07/2025 05:48

RabbitsRock · 28/06/2025 07:03

So sorry to read your update OP 💐I have a friend who was widowed at 25 & she has thrown herself into trying to set up help for younger widows as in her experience there doesn’t seem to be a lot available. She has 2 very young children. We are based in Cornwall but I am happy to see if she has anything online & I can inbox you the details. So sorry for what is happening to your family. A few weeks have passed now since your wedding & hopefully you are able to gain some comfort from the memories of that day ❤️

Edited

Widowed and Young are a good resource

https://www.widowedandyoung.org.uk/

WAY Widowed & Young - Bereavement support UK

WAY is the only national UK charity providing bereavement support for anyone aged 50 or under when their partner died.

https://www.widowedandyoung.org.uk

Weepixie · 22/07/2025 05:45

Reported ⬆️

Snickers2356 · 22/07/2025 04:51

Oh op, it is a living hell that you are in. Just focus on one step at a time. Be kind with yourself, you are strong. Don’t expect to feel ok now, and when you do feel ok, don’t feel guilty. Things will get easier with time I promise. They will never go away but they will get easier. Sending lots of love and hugs your way x

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 22/07/2025 04:15

@MoreThanOverwhelmed I am so sorry for your loss. Please know that you have MNers here when you need us. Sending you strength, love and many {{HUGS}}.

Quashsquash · 22/07/2025 03:23

OP, this is so hard and unfair. Sending sympathy and strength your way, and to your family.

Outside9 · 22/07/2025 01:44

Horrible disease. Sorry

Washingupdone · 22/07/2025 00:27

I am so sorry. Look after yourself. Flowers

ChaToilLeam · 21/07/2025 23:56

I'm so sorry, OP. Hope you can get some rest, life is very cruel sometimes. 💐

YawnSoTired · 21/07/2025 23:52

Oh op, you have been to hell and back darling.
I'm so sorry 😞
Be kind to yourself In the coming days/weeks.
With lots of love to you all ❤️

LeftieRightsHoarder · 21/07/2025 23:32

Sending you much love and sympathy, OP. This is a terrible time for you and DC, and you just have to keep going as best you can till the pain eases. I hope you can comfort each other, and that you have loving people around you to help you get through it all, day by day xxx

healthybychristmas · 21/07/2025 23:21

I'm so sorry 💔

Gymnopediegivesmethewillies · 21/07/2025 22:44

Bless you. I’m so sorry. Sending a hug and a handhold. X

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