I got married yesterday and I can't stop crying.

I am another who just wants to say congratulations on your wedding and I am so, so sorry this is happening to you. I wish you lots of love and strength to get through this awful time. I hope your DH is as comfortable and pain-free as he can be, as well.

Firstly, congratulations on your marriage... I know that it happened in unusual circumstances but it is wonderful to think that you have managed to do what you planned, albeit a little earlier.

Next, whatever we all say to you, there is no set way to deal with what you are going through, look through the collective wisdom on here and use what works for you. If something does not work, then change your mind and do something else.

For my friends and colleagues I have a document for anyone who is dealing with an up coming death, that is full of the practicalities of sorting out the fall out from a death, so please feel free to DM me with your email address and I will send it over.

Finally, use your network, people will offer help but will be embarrassed to ask, what do you actually need? So be brave and say, could someone do a basic shop for me and make sure that there is fresh milk in the fridge, could you do the children's wash, can you runn the hoover around and open the windows to freshen up the house or can you watch the children while I have a bath and a bloody good cry. People need direction and will love being given a job to do. My thoughts are with you all...

You may not feel this right now, but sending sincerest congratulations on your wedding. You and your DH have forged a wonderful bond together that is forever

I’m so sorry

Op sending much love, I am just over 8 years on from losing my DH (he was 46). Try to not put too many demands on yourself, some days just getting up for the day is an amazing achievement ❤️
Our DC are both young adults now & only this week I was telling my eldest stories & anecdotes about their Dad, making DD laugh. She tells all her friends all about him.
Congratulations on your wedding x

Dear OP, I’ve been where you are. ICU wedding, two tiny children. DH died three weeks after our wedding. That was 11 years ago.

So can I offer some hope from the future? You will be ok. Your kids will be ok. We’re all thriving these days. It will be hard, difficult and awful at times but you will get through what is to come and be happy.

let me know if you’d like to talk X

That's so sad,I'm so sorry to hear that..life is so difficult..Congratulations on marrying your love and I'm so sorry it was under those circumstances.❤️ love and best wishes to you both

@MoreThanOverwhelmed my daughter stayed at ours after being told she didnt have long to go because she was too upset to tell her primary aged children. you need all the family around and I am sure your pil will be there as much as possible to see their son. their hearts are also breaking because you should never bury you children. every adult comes to terms with losing a parent but never losing a child. your children must be able to talk. if they keep it bottled up then it is worse and takes way longer to heal. xxpraying for you and your family.xxxx

Am so so sorry. At this moment, what can you do but cry. Sending an un-mumsnetty hug ❤️

Dear OP,
I am truly sorry to hear about your very painful, heartbreaking situation 😢 💔
I always tell my children: we will all meet again. In Heaven. It is comforting 💐
Be strong. I'll have you in my prayers 🙏🏼

I am sorry that you find yourself in such a hard place. It made me think of what Joe Biden said a few weeks ago, we are strongest in the broken places.

Sorry to mention practicalities, but I mention them so you can get things sorted out to concentrate on spending time with your DH and children. Make sure he has a valid will. If he has single bank accounts, think about making changes now so you can access money after he dies. If you don’t claim child benefit, put a claim in now, even if you have to pay money back, because you will receive more Bereavement Support Payment. Make sure you know all his passwords for accounts and test them now to make sure they are right. If you are aged 50 or younger, have a look at Widowed and Young for advice and support, they also have a book for relatives and friends.

So sorry

Please contact the Ruth Strauss Foundation. It’s a charity. They support families where a parent has an incurable diagnosis. They have family support, peer groups and all sorts of other free resources to help you all handle anticipatory grief, bereavement and grief. Big hugs x

I am so sorry. It is hard.

I was the child losing her dad in very similar circumstances. With this perspective, I would say the important thing is to look after your own mental health and wellbeing. Do not feel guilty about making this a priority. After losing Dad, it was our biggest worry that Mum might not be ok. Do avail yourself of help from charities such as Winston’s wish to support them.

I am sure you don’t need me to tell you that hard though it is, do get your paperwork in order if you possibly can. Perhaps there is a trusted friend or family member who can help you.

Sending you, your DH and your family a big hug.

Handhold and a hug from me.

You will need time to recover from your surgery - not just physically but also emotionally, so don't forget that.

Try and get all the support you can and take every hour, every day at a time.

What you are going through is an unimaginably tough time.

I'm so sorry to read this. Please check out Winstons Wish, a child bereavement charity who have guides around explaining death to children.
https://winstonswish.org/

Our local cancer charity offers counselling to children as well in this position so maybe see what your local cancer charities offer.

I’m sorry. I’m sending you all of my love today. X

I think weeping is well and truly justified in your heartbreaking situation.Life is so cruel and unfair at times.I don’t have any advice I’m just so sad to hear this.

As everyone is saying, lean on friends and on the rest of us here for support - we will prop you up when you don't think you can stand or take another step forward. Lean on the specialist support of Winston's Wish or Ruth Strauss Foundation or your children's school or your church. Make a list of things for friends who say "what can we do to help" include things like 'take my kids for their dinner / help my kids make a card for Daddy / record my husband leaving a message for us for Christmas Day / do a week's grocery shopping for us / load my freezer with nutritious meals I just need to heat up'. Accept help. Spend your time where it matters now (family) and not on the everyday chores (shopping and cleaning etc).
And allow yourself the tears. You are dealing with A Lot of Stuff. Tears are important pressure relief.

Keep on keeping on.

I’m so sorry

Sending so many hugs. Congratulations on your wedding. Good luck for your recovery too. You sound v strong but you are of course allowed to cry like this at such a difficult time. I am sorry xx

I’m so sorry you’re going through this—there’s no roadmap for something this painful. You’ve just had surgery, cared for your children, and married the man you love in the middle of heartbreak. That’s extraordinary strength, even if you feel like you’re falling apart.
Telling your children will be one of the hardest things you’ll ever do—but you don’t have to do it alone. Ask the hospital if they can connect you with a family support worker or a specialist nurse—many palliative care teams have people trained to help children process what’s happening in age-appropriate ways.
You don’t need to have the perfect words. You just need to be honest, gentle, and there. And right now, you only need to take one hour at a time. There is no “right” way to do this—just your way, moment by moment.
Please be kind to yourself. You are already doing the impossible.

I have no advice OP I just wish I could give you a hug. So sorry about what is happening.

Such a bittersweet moment OP. You clearly love each other, cherish your times together.
Whatever happens, you are going to be OK: you are reaching out for support when you need it, keep doing it; yes, other people have busy lives but it’s really important you all get lots of support.