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Original poster

I got married yesterday and I can't stop crying.

534 replies

MoreThanOverwhelmed · 07/06/2025 05:07

DH has cancer. (Diagnosed Jan 2024)
We were supposed to get married - at simple 2+2 ceremony at the end of the month but his Dr's etc encouraged us to bring the date forwards, so we got married yesterday in the hospital where my DH is being cared for.
I'm a week post major abdominal surgery.
We have 2 primary aged DC
It's our youngest DCs birthday this month.

I don't know what I want from this post but I can't stop crying.
I don't think that I know how break it to the DC that Daddy isn't going to get better and come home.
My head is swimming & I don't know what to do.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Whattodo1610 · 18/06/2025 15:54

I’m so sorry OP. Sending hugs your way ❤️❤️

Silvers11 · 18/06/2025 15:52

Sending you prayers and hugs - so sorry this is happening to you and your family

Cavello · 18/06/2025 15:52

Thinking of you OP at this very difficult and sad time. I am so very sorry for you all.

QuickPeachPoet · 18/06/2025 15:50

This is just horrible. So so sorry OP.
Tell the children. Don't worry if you get upset - that is perfectly normal. Draw together as a family. It sounds like there is so much love there.

MumofSpud · 18/06/2025 15:39

I have been where you are - dealing with all the practical things like bills whilst you have everything else to deal with is horrendous.
It sounds like you have a good support team around you Flowers

Changed18 · 18/06/2025 15:35

Thinking of you all. I'm so sorry.

ERthree · 18/06/2025 15:20

Thinking of you and your family x

Zoopet · 18/06/2025 15:09

Sending love and hugs to you and your family. Xx

uncomfortablydumb60 · 18/06/2025 14:59

Gosh I'm so very sorry
I I hope the wedding brought brief moments of Joy to you both
Cancer is a bastard

Original poster
MoreThanOverwhelmed · 18/06/2025 14:54

As if my life couldn't get any better, I've just received a message from DH saying that they are moving him to end of life care so I need to visit tomorrow to sort out making sure I can deal with all of the utility bills etc. 😢

OP posts:
Fahdidahlia · 07/06/2025 16:32

Remember you are an amazing strong young woman who found a love that won't end on his passing. It'll live through memories, acts and your children. You will get through this but cry, scream and at times laugh at much as you need to. The grieving process has already begun but remember you've been there throughout not just at the end. Wishing you well.

Daleksatemyshed · 07/06/2025 16:14

That's so sad @MoreThanOverwhelmed , the wedding must have been very, very emotional and difficult, 36 is still so young 💔

pimplebum · 07/06/2025 16:07

Winston’s wish is a charity that helps with young children and loss of parents

so sorry you are dealing with this life can be so cruel

Moonbelly · 07/06/2025 16:05

MoreThanOverwhelmed · 07/06/2025 15:45

You are all so lovely to have taken time out of your day to respond to me.
I have moments where I kind of "forget" about how shit my life is, then it's like I suddenly remember & the tears don't stop.
This does seem to coincide with my painkillers wearing off (I had a hysterectomy last week with a hip-to-hip incision) & although I mostly feel okay enough to not need the painkillets I am feeling a lot more emotional without them.
DH & I are 36 & it is all just a complete shower of shit.

We were the same age when Husband passed. 36. And a hysterectomy as well. You poor thing. You do eventually come out the other side. Sending you so much strength

MorphandMindy · 07/06/2025 15:52

That is so very young to be facing this event. Giving you a big hug, OP. Sometimes there is literally nothing else to do but take a moment for yourself to despair before you have to pack it up and pin a smile on for the children. It is a very human thing.

And surgery can make be very disorienting indeed - there's something about that loss of control over your own body that brings a lot of emotion to the surface, along with the pain.

Wishing you peace and strength xx

Original poster
MoreThanOverwhelmed · 07/06/2025 15:45

You are all so lovely to have taken time out of your day to respond to me.
I have moments where I kind of "forget" about how shit my life is, then it's like I suddenly remember & the tears don't stop.
This does seem to coincide with my painkillers wearing off (I had a hysterectomy last week with a hip-to-hip incision) & although I mostly feel okay enough to not need the painkillets I am feeling a lot more emotional without them.
DH & I are 36 & it is all just a complete shower of shit.

OP posts:
Sunshineandgrapefruit · 07/06/2025 11:32

Cry as much as you need to. You are in pain and it's a perfectly reasonable response. Keep posting. Mumsnetters are a supportive bunch, especially in a crisis.

BrianWankum · 07/06/2025 11:23

It's awful that this is happening to your family, I'm so sorry.

I hope you and your children can get support xxx

skyeisthelimit · 07/06/2025 11:18

OP, I am so sorry for you. There are some great charities out there that can help you, like McMillan.

Our local hospice help families, and there are a few charities already mentioned on here that support children.

Their primary school may also be able to help them with therapy sessions etc, DD's school had a craft worker who held sessions where children could craft and talk. (she was properly trained).

TicTac80 · 07/06/2025 10:58

OP, I am so sorry that you are going through this. If your husband is under the care of oncology, palliative or hospice nurses, it could be worth asking them if they have support in place for families. Most teams will have things in place or be able to signpost/refer to excellent support.

When my patients (I'm a Sister on an acute resp ward - but for adults rather than paeds) have been terminally ill, we have managed to make sure families with young kids have had support with play specialists etc. We have also been on hand with supporting families when they have to talk to children about a loved one being terminally ill. Winston's Wish is amazing too.

I've never been in your situation and I can't imagine what it must be like, but I have looked after many families like yours. Try and get all the support you can: we (HCPs) want to look after you and help you guys through these times.

Giggorata · 07/06/2025 10:52

Congratulations on your wedding, and also I am so sorry that there is that separation and sadness to follow. 💐

I wish you strength and comfort.

SerafinasGoose · 07/06/2025 10:51

Your heartbreaking story moved me to tears this morning. I'm so sorry, my darling. Nothing anyone can say will make this better, but sending you heartfelt love and empathy from a MN stranger ❤

JamesGetIn · 07/06/2025 10:29

I’m so sorry 💐

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