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Original poster

I can’t stand my MIL

61 replies

e8ily · 07/06/2025 01:16

some advice please. I have a 6 month old,he is the most precious thing to me in my life so I want to protect him from everything, my partners mother assaulted me a couple of months ago, she pulled my hair and shouted at me in front of my baby and said all sorts of nasty stuff to me and behind my back in the last year, I understand it was out of anger, but she is very up and down, I feel like I’ve seen her true colours and I just cannot stand her anymore which makes my relationship with my partner very difficult. He wants our baby to spend the night there sometimes or for her to spend time with him and look after him every now and then but the thought of that makes me feel sick. I don’t want my baby anywhere near her but my partner does, I don’t want to keep baby from his family just because we don’t get along. She wants to get along with me and go back to “normal” but I can’t look past the way she treated me, I’m usually a really forgiving person but I cannot stand her anymore. Me and my partner want to have a night to ourselves to go and watch a show, I’ve said to my partner I don’t feel comfortable with her looking after him by herself and he said “well she’s his gran he will be staying there sometimes” and she’s the only babysitter we’ve got, she’s a great gran to him but i can’t look past the fact I don’t feel comfortable, am I being unreasonable? I feel stuck In the middle do I let her babysit so we can spend some quality time together or do I go with my gut and not have that time and keep him with me.

OP posts:
Original poster
e8ily · 07/06/2025 04:39

Mumof2amazingasdkiddos · 07/06/2025 02:31

Another one echoing the question what was your partners reaction to the ongoing nasty things she's been saying to you and about you and what was his reaction to the assault?

You say she just wants to go back to "normal" has she actually apologised for what she's said and for attacking you?

he was there and he asked her to stop, but he’s been meeting up with her at the pub and I found out he took our baby there without telling me, he’s his dad he’s got his say but I feel so uncomfortable with her being close with my baby when I absolutely cannot stand her.Shes always going to be a part of his life and I hate that

OP posts:
Original poster
e8ily · 07/06/2025 04:36

he was there when she pulled my hair and he did ask her to stop, I haven’t had an apology off of her, shes a stubborn woman and won’t apologise even if she is in the wrong, me and my partner had a falling out so she came over to the house (it’s almost like she’s part of the relationship, she’s always involved) and every bicker me and my partner have; she is the first one he phones. I spent the night with my parents after this and I was obviously taking my baby with me! while I was leaving the house is when pulled my hair and asked my partner to take my baby away from me as it turns out she wanted to move into our home and to bring him up herself. fucking ludicrous. I cannot look past that, the whole thing is sick, he’s my baby! She is mentally unwell, I’ve cried to my partner about this recently, many times actually, it keeps me up at night the thought of the day coming where I have to see her again, imagining her holding my baby, it makes me feel sick, but he thinks she was protecting him as she thought I was taking baby away for good, which I know he didn’t think that, he doesn’t understand that this has effected me quite badly mentally, I’ve never felt hatred towards someone like this before. He said he has a say in who sees our baby and she will always be a part of his life, I don’t want her touching, cuddling, kissing my little baby when she was so vile to me.

OP posts:
NoBiscuitsLeftInMyTin · 07/06/2025 04:36

Just WOW - I don't I've ever read such bat-shittery...

Obviously the dynamic is completely wrong with your DH calling her everytime theres an 'issue between you both.

Your DH is as much a problem as she is. You've explained and cried in front of him and if he's not taken it on board then Im sorry but I've never written this before on here - but surely life would be easier without them both in your lives.

Original poster
e8ily · 07/06/2025 04:29

he was there when she pulled my hair and he did ask her to stop, I haven’t had an apology off of her, shes a stubborn woman and won’t apologise even if she is in the wrong, me and my partner had a falling out so she came over to the house (it’s almost like she’s part of the relationship, she’s always involved) and every bicker me and my partner have; she is the first one he phones. I spent the night with my parents after this and I was obviously taking my baby with me! while I was leaving the house is when pulled my hair and asked my partner to take my baby away from me as it turns out she wanted to move into our home and to bring him up herself. fucking ludicrous. I cannot look past that, the whole thing is sick, he’s my baby! She is mentally unwell, I’ve cried to my partner about this recently, many times actually, it keeps me up at night the thought of the day coming where I have to see her again, imagining her holding my baby, it makes me feel sick, but he thinks she was protecting him as she thought I was taking baby away for good, which I know he didn’t think that, he doesn’t understand that this has effected me quite badly mentally, I’ve never felt hatred towards someone like this before. He said he has a say in who sees our baby and she will always be a part of his life, I don’t want her touching, cuddling, kissing my little baby when she was so vile to me.

OP posts:
NoBiscuitsLeftInMyTin · 07/06/2025 04:25

TBH - When I saw the heading - I can't stand my MIL - I thought it would be the usual petty - she turns up unannounced, she thinks my kitchen is dirty BS - not the fact she actually assaults you and abuses you in front of your child - it should be MY MIL IS ABUSIVE AND HORRIBLE! - and where is 'DH" in all of this?

If this was MIL there'd be no - she's great to my child - it would be completely NC. Bloody woman

LurkyMcLurkinson · 07/06/2025 03:34

You’re not unreasonable to want to protect your baby. If she couldn’t control herself when it came to the attack on you, how can you be confident there won’t be other situations where she loses control herself, or that she wouldn’t lose control around the baby? Have you pointed that out to your partner? Does he not recognise she poses a risk? I’m assuming not if he’s making ridiculous comments about her being the only person you have to babysit. Would he be saying he’s the only person we have to baby sit about a sex offender and then leaving the baby with them? Presumably not, in which case he must just be delusional because it’s his mother. Or perhaps he’s so used to her behaviour he’s normalised and minimised it?

DeSoleil · 07/06/2025 03:26

I would have also called the police if anyone assaulted me.

Even if the police did nothing it would let the woman and your husband know that you won’t just sit back and do nothing when physically hurt.

I also can’t understand why your husband isn’t on your side and supporting you?

It’s not just hurty words thrown at each other but she actually physically assaulted you. There’s no going back from that.

problem you have is that if you split, him and his mum have access to the child.

Personally I acojlsnt stay with a man who dismisses my being physically assaulted.

GoldenGirl85 · 07/06/2025 03:23

Sorry that you’re in this situation, it sounds awful. However, I would say if you are confident that she is a great grandma I would use this to your benefit and let her spend time with the child on your terms to suit you.

reading between the lines I’m assuming there was a formal apology and hopefully your husband also stood up for you. Although, I think your husband is the main concern here. He seems very blunt and non- chalant about the situation. He should be furious that this happened and supporting you in making a decision on what to do.

however, if you do think your MIL behaviour is up and down and there’s a chance this could happen again I would distance and let her know that if she does anything like that to you again, she can say goodbye to unsupervised time with her grandchild.

scorpiogirly · 07/06/2025 03:18

Devianinc · 07/06/2025 02:46

Usually, do you have another theory as to why someone would an innocent person. Unless your unhinged

Show quote history

Reported for troll behaviour.

WilfredsPies · 07/06/2025 03:14

Devianinc · 07/06/2025 02:52

How do you get rid of stalkers on mom’s net wilfordspies. Eww.

Not engaging with you Devianinc. You need to speak to your GP.

scorpiogirly · 07/06/2025 03:13

Sorry, no. She's violent. He doesn't get to decide. Put your foot down and if supergran doesn't like it, let her take you to court.

Devianinc · 07/06/2025 03:10

e8ily · 07/06/2025 01:16

some advice please. I have a 6 month old,he is the most precious thing to me in my life so I want to protect him from everything, my partners mother assaulted me a couple of months ago, she pulled my hair and shouted at me in front of my baby and said all sorts of nasty stuff to me and behind my back in the last year, I understand it was out of anger, but she is very up and down, I feel like I’ve seen her true colours and I just cannot stand her anymore which makes my relationship with my partner very difficult. He wants our baby to spend the night there sometimes or for her to spend time with him and look after him every now and then but the thought of that makes me feel sick. I don’t want my baby anywhere near her but my partner does, I don’t want to keep baby from his family just because we don’t get along. She wants to get along with me and go back to “normal” but I can’t look past the way she treated me, I’m usually a really forgiving person but I cannot stand her anymore. Me and my partner want to have a night to ourselves to go and watch a show, I’ve said to my partner I don’t feel comfortable with her looking after him by herself and he said “well she’s his gran he will be staying there sometimes” and she’s the only babysitter we’ve got, she’s a great gran to him but i can’t look past the fact I don’t feel comfortable, am I being unreasonable? I feel stuck In the middle do I let her babysit so we can spend some quality time together or do I go with my gut and not have that time and keep him with me.

I was very lucky. My mil moved to Florida but I still think you should get an order of protection against your mil if she attract you. You only have your word against her so do it as fast as you can. If you have proof, all the better. Keep your baby safe.

Devianinc · 07/06/2025 02:52

How do you get rid of stalkers on mom’s net wilfordspies. Eww.

Devianinc · 07/06/2025 02:47

Devianinc · 07/06/2025 02:46

Usually, do you have another theory as to why someone would an innocent person. Unless your unhinged

Show quote history

Do you randomly attack people?

Devianinc · 07/06/2025 02:46

Noshadelamp · 07/06/2025 02:44

You think the only reason people attack other people is because they are mentally ill?

Show quote history

Usually, do you have another theory as to why someone would an innocent person. Unless your unhinged

Noshadelamp · 07/06/2025 02:44

Devianinc · 07/06/2025 02:39

I’m still trying to understand the attack. Why did she attack you, I really want to know. No one just attacks people unless they’re mentally ill but that’s not what you’re implying.So why did the mother attack you.

You think the only reason people attack other people is because they are mentally ill?

Fiver555 · 07/06/2025 02:42

If course your instinct is not to allow her to look after your child - she's already shown you her capacity for violence! Who in their right mind would risk putting their child into her care? Your instincts are spot on.

Devianinc · 07/06/2025 02:42

You should have called the police for assault

Devianinc · 07/06/2025 02:40

Especially bc you had a little baby. That’s just not reasonable

Noshadelamp · 07/06/2025 02:40

don’t want to keep baby from his family just because we don’t get along @e8ily

You don't just "not get along", she literally assaulted you! We're not meant to get along with people who assult and abuse us.

I don’t feel comfortable with her looking after him by herself and he said “well she’s his gran he will be staying there sometimes @e8ily

Just because she's his gran doesn't mean automatically the child will be staying there.

I'm worried your DH is minimising what your mil has done to you and invalidating you to the pont that you have lost sight of just how bad it is to be assaulted by your mil.

Regardless of what drove her to it, it's not your fault and you do not need to make excuses for this woman.

Keep protecting your son and yourself.

Devianinc · 07/06/2025 02:39

I’m still trying to understand the attack. Why did she attack you, I really want to know. No one just attacks people unless they’re mentally ill but that’s not what you’re implying.So why did the mother attack you.

Mumof2amazingasdkiddos · 07/06/2025 02:31

Another one echoing the question what was your partners reaction to the ongoing nasty things she's been saying to you and about you and what was his reaction to the assault?

You say she just wants to go back to "normal" has she actually apologised for what she's said and for attacking you?

Devianinc · 07/06/2025 02:31

She just randomly pulled your hair out of no where. You should have called the police and get a report so you have that on record

Devianinc · 07/06/2025 02:29

But why would she assault you. It’s totally out of the realm of reality. She just pulled your hair? I hope you weren’t injured. That’s nuts

CountryQueen · 07/06/2025 02:22

I’d rather never have a night out or a moment alone again than leave my child with someone who assaulted me in front of them, or at all actually

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