New grandparents to be. . . . .

Me neither. If my DC decide to have kids then they have to look after them. If they can't afford them, don't have them!

I agree. My dm is a young 65yo although some health issues. But at her age, she has raised her kids and her life is to be enjoyed fully doing whatever she wants.
she will gladly help babysit if there’s something we need but no way would I expect regular childcare from her. It’s so selfish to expect this from GP.

im in my 40s with a 2yo and there is no way I’m going regular childcare once I’m done.

I was a SAHM as I had no near family and I mostly enjoyed the time bringing up my two DC (18 months apart) in my early 30's. I was encouraged to move closer to my DD and partner at 70 after becoming a widow and have helped regularly with childcare since, usually one full.day a week. My DGD and I have developed a close bond and I enjoy her company, but at times it has been exhausting. I definitely couldn't do it more frequently and I'm sure I would cone to resent it as I would have no opportunity to do other things with friends etc.

Absolutely.

Had a couple who looked after their 2 GC 5 days a week. Early morning Tube to DD's house to pick kids up, drop off at school, go back to their own home, back to school pick up, take them to the playground until dinner time as the DD & SIL wfh and didn't want to be disturbed.
If weather was bad, it was a cafe or the library.

Weekends, DD insisted GPs didn't come so they could rest. Only useful when providing a service.

They said could never say anything as otherwise they wouldn't see DGs.

Lots who're happy to do it, but also quite a few who feel stuck.

Duh! You're the one who said OP doesn't speak for all grandparents.

She never claimed to.

We're the same as you op but have inlaw that makes us look bad as she is happy to have the kids routinely, we both work full time and love our grandchildren but do find it hard at our age.

I'm 67 and not expecting to have DGC for several years - which is fine, I was a late starter too!

I have noticed that with my friends who have GC, those who are in a couple find the care giving less strenuous, but those who are single get a lot out of it as their GC are such a big part of their lives.

If we can't be honest with our own DC about what we can do and what we can't, there's no hope!

Really good advice. One where people pleasing can go drastically wrong if you say yes then can't cope!

It’s a shame your health means you find it too much to do regular childcare. I think many grandparents would be thrilled to have a regular opportunity to look after their DGC, have a little routine and take them out, whilst knowing they’re helping their kids.

I find this post a bit “look I get all the benefits of being a grandparent without having to put myself out” which I find rather odd. My family are a bit more keen on helping each other out and working together.

I agree actually OP.
There's bound to be differences of opinion...& a lot of adult dc desperate to convince themselves their dms are loving it & aren't at all tired.
What you're doing sounds fab & your dd sounds like a sensible woman, must run in the family.😉

I must have missed the MN rule where you have to only agree with the OP.

Oh no wait there isn’t one so people can post alternative viewpoints all they like! How progressive.

I totally agree, I was on holiday with 2 DGC at the half term. I couldn't believe how much energy they had. At the end of a tiring day they still had energy to burn but sadly Nanny didn't.

Must have missed the part where OP said she was speaking for all grandparents in the world.

But not everyone will 100% be providing childcare, as proven by loads of posters on the thread.
Some found out too late, to the detriment of their health, so if there's free advice to share, why not!

Not helping doesn't mean 100% no involvement.

My parents were in their late sixties when they watched mine three days per week so that I didn’t have to pay nursery fees. My Mum is disabled and my Dad has heart issues but they insisted and they loved it and really hated it when the DC went to full time school nursery at three. They kept asking when I would have another (never!). My DC are 12 and 9 now and still go to their grandparents every week for dinner.

So this may be how you have found it but you can’t speak for all grandparents.

I was a grandmother at 50, but working full time as a senior teacher, so my child care offering was babysitting at the weekend and school holidays. Later, when I was working part time, I did school pick up and was at their home with them, until parents were home.

It’s definitely tiring, especially combining paid work and child care.

Sorry but you posting this and the way you're trying to influence other people does just seem like you have something to prove.

If you don't want to help and provide regular care for your grandson then that's fine, don't. Others do and cope with it well and find it adds a lot to their life.

I will 100% be helping my son if he ever needs it.

DM looked after DS1 from 3 months old full time until he went to primary school, then she looked after him before and after school. She loved it! It definitely gave her a new lease of life. To be fair though she was only 50 when he was born (she had me young) He’s 25 now and they’re incredibly close. I’m 54 and can’t wait for a grandchild but sadly I won’t be able to help much with child care due to working full time ☹️

I certainly don't feel guilty or sad..... I see my dgs most days and take him with me often, partly to give my dd some "me time/couple time " but mostly cos I love being with him.
I'm not trying to convince anyone of anything.... Just stated what works for me.
You sound slightly bitter to me.

Or the well if you dont provide childcare because i chose to have children i wont help you when you are older, the bitterness on here in general is plain to see