To think that everyone has regrets, no matter what they say?

If I was asked, I could come up with a few examples of choices I would make differently or times I wish I’d been a bit bolder and done something I chickened out of. Plenty of things where in hindsight I made a poor choice. But they’re tiny things and I don’t really consider them regrets as I don’t feel strongly about them or even think about them unprompted. I’m lucky enough that I’ve never made a bad decision that had enough consequences for me to truly regret it.

I guess it depends if you’re a pedant (“technically yes everyone has something minor they’d do differently in hindsight”) or if you are capable of inference and nuance (“I understand people mean they haven’t got anything major they’d change”).

I think there are different ways of looking at things; and neither of them is necessarily right or wrong.

That's very nicely summed up and I do take your point about not dwelling on things that you've learned a lesson or gained valuable experience from.

I don't think that regrets always have to be purely negative things at all; it's probably nuanced and very much open to different interpretations.

I couldn’t disagree more, @IfYouPutASausageInItItsNotAViennetta .

You can learn plenty without regretting the steps that led to that. There’s lots I’ve messed up or where I’ve backed the wrong horse, so to speak. But it all made up the tapestry of my life and I accept that life as it is. I accept responsibility for my choices both good and bad.

DH keeps an eye on items he’s bought and is frustrated when the price drops, for example, whereas I don’t because I can’t see what possible benefit that would bring. (Unless it’s something that it is worth getting two of!)

I assess whether a decision or action is wise or not, but I don’t waste energy regretting them. I will just hopefully choose better next time.

I think, if you start off from a point of perfection and never make any mistakes, or even do anything in a way that you later realise you could have done much better, you probably wouldn't have any regrets.

I've personally never met nor heard of anybody for whom that applies.

I don't think a regret has to be restricted to something that you consider seriously ruined/marred your life in a very significant way; neither should it really include something wholly unimportant and ephemeral, such as choosing a meal at a restaurant and then seeing somebody else's nicer-looking meal being brought out, or wearing an outfit for a do and then later looking back and thinking that it wasn't a great choice.

I'd say that one way of looking at it is that, if you never have any causes for regret, that rather suggests that you've never learned anything with experience; ergo regrets (hopefully nothing too devastating) could be said to be a measure of a full life where you grew, matured and developed wisely over however many years you had.

That’s great, and if you’re happy and like your life I can see how you would regret anything. Sadly that’s not the case for me.

I can think of only one major one, and that is not taking a stand on my late husband's alcohol misuse soon enough.

I don't really have any regrets, or rather, I don't have anything I still regret. I might regret something for a while after it happens, but that fades with time.

I'm happy, I like my life, any decision I might have made differently in the past, even if the direct result of it was better, might have made my life worse in the long run.

For instance, I mined about 10 bitcoin when it first became a thing. And then I just... forgot about them. They were a silly little thing that were worth a couple of quid, so they sat in a file somewhere and then when my harddisk died I didn't even think about them. Until a few years ago when I found out just how much a bitcoin is worth these days. I could have been a millionaire!

So yeah, it'd be very easy to regret that. But if I'd had that million quid, then who's to say my life would be the same now. Maybe having that extra money would have meant that we'd buy a house, that we'd end up unhappy in, maybe DD would have been bullied at the private school we'd have hypothetically sent her to. Maybe me having extra money would have revealed my brother to be grabby cheeky fucker. Any one of a million different pressures on my life could have made it measurably worse than it is now.

I'm happy, now. Why would I regret anything that got me to this place?

I don't have regrets, it's pretty pointless to look back and be clever with hindsight when you were making decisions at the time with the level of knowledge/ability you had then.

I do have Sliding Doors moments when I wonder what would have happened if I'd got into my first choice of university and did English instead of Law, but who knows? I might not have met someone as lovely as DH and would not have my DDs. I wouldn't go back and chose a different path if it led me away from them, ever.

The best thing you can do is continue to learn and improve with age, but not in a desperate attempt at self-improvement because you aren't good enough. You are also fine and enough, just as you are.

I have things i think i wonder what the opposite choice may have turned out briefly but no I dont regret anything I have done, and no I dont think everyone thinks the same

I don’t have regrets.

I have made some poor decisions and said or done ill advised things over the years, of course. But they were what felt the best thing at the time. I just accept I got it wrong and move on.

I would do some things differently if I were to face them now, with more information and knowing myself and others better. But that’s not having regrets about what’s already happened.

And of course I am me, with the strengths and weaknesses of my character. I can’t become a different sort of person, I can only moderate my behaviours. So I try to do that where I can, but with a view to the future and not the past.

Surely everyone has at least one decision they’d undo if they could.

insight is a wonderful thing. Some people recognise that, at the time, they did what they thought was best with what they had.

It's different to think that if they had known/ experienced other things, they would make a different choice, but as things were, there's no regret to have.

I’m not sure regret is the right word but I did some pretty daft things as a teenager, however I’m happy with the big stuff. No problems there.

I agree with this, I used to think "ooh if I lived my life over again what would I change" and then I read a book where someone kept going back to the beginning of their life and obviously they never had the same children even if they ensured they got together with the same partner because of the unlikeliness of getting pregnant at the exact same time with the same sperm and egg. And that would be awful.

I don't have any regrets. I've made the odd decision here and there that could have been better and a few times when my behaviour fell below my principles but I have grown from them and I have the perspective and risk assessments I have today as a result. And my path led me to the life I have now.

IMHO, regrets are things most people have. Feeling regret is an acknowledgement of something you did that was not right. I think you would have to be a full blown narcissist to have no regrets!

I have plenty of regrets but I think the best way is when you use experiences to shape you into a better version of yourself so however negative they become positive and try not to repeat bad things done to you or by you.

Plus as a counsellor told me you live your healthiest life with a total acceptance of everything you can’t change. (I can’t do it but I get the idea!)

I am living a nice enough life now but I have so so so many (varied) regrets that I think about each and every day.

I can’t think of a single one in terms of things I’ve done or not done.

There’s no point regretting the things that were out of my control. The horrible things that have happened to me are for someone else to regret, not me. And every shit thing has, in its own way, led me to something wonderful I wouldn’t have otherwise, so I can’t wish it hadn’t happened.

I have things I kick myself over but really I give myself grace in respect of the fact that I, like all humans, sometimes make mistakes and it's ok.

I really wouldn't change anything. Imagine I did and I ended up not meeting my husband or having my children. Getting to have them in my life absolves me of regret, because nothing that lead to me sharing my life with them could really be considered bad. I'd willingly go through everything I have and worse a hundred times over for the sake of getting them.

I think what people mean is there's no point dwelling on the past and what might have been rather than claiming everything they've done has been perfect.

I love a good Friday night navel gaze me 😂

No ragrets!

I have no regrets, there is no point

@NoctuaAthene it gets philosophical, doesn’t it?!