AIBU to find baby sensory groups excruciating

I loved Bloom too.

I had a baby during Covid, the first summer so after the strictest lockdowns but our area was back in ‘local lockdown’ and remained in the highest tier or whatever system they were using throughout. So it was hit and miss when and if they ran. When they did run I went to everything going honestly - there was a memorable time I did 3 different groups in a day.

I never really encountered anyone being awful or cliquey but it was a weird time when we had to distance and wear masks and stuff anyway. We didn’t particularly get on with Rhythm time, loved Bloom it had some great tunes! We kept that up till DD was gone 2 I think. I also loved Tiny Talk baby signing and went on to toddler talk.

Also absolutely loved Artventurers, we didn’t start that till DD was a good bit older and I was back at work but would go on my days off. I was an Early Years teacher up to having DD, and fully imagined that I would be a ‘messy play’ type mum. Pictured myself lovingly making my own play dough and whipping out the tuff tray at any given opportunity. Turns out the mess just stressed me out when it was in my own home, so Artventurers was my way of letting DD roll around in paint or rub shaving foam all over herself in a safe and contained environment!

In terms of ‘mum friends’ though the lasting ones I made were from the church hall types, £1 and you get a cup of tea and a biscuit. I also went to a group specifically for mums with PND and PNA for a while and made a good friend there. And one from a toddler group they run at a local farm, but that was when the girls were old enough that they started playing together and sort of made the introductions for us, and I was brave enough to say ‘so shall we swap numbers maybe?’

I got talked into going to one when my middle child was a baby.

What a load of shit.

I prefered waiting until they were 18 months and then going to playgroups in church halls, just loads of toys shoved in a hall and some playdough and painting. They got far more out of going to a couple of those a week than they would have done some silk scarves being chucked around them as little babies.

I think groups like Baby Sensory are an absolute godsend! They're fun, they get you out the house, they give so many ideas of ways to play with your babies at home. Not NEXT to your babies (while you mindlessly scroll on your phone providing no eye contact or communication) but actually WITH your baby, looking at them, talking to them, teaching them songs and rhymes that you may well have forgotten from your own childhood, using so many props that you could never get bored or run out of ideas. I've been nannying for babies for over 20 years, and I am shocked but how little parents interact with their babies when out and about now. Headphones in ears, coffee in hand, eyes on phone. At least the classes give parents 45mins of meaningful engagement. Maybe go for a coffee after for your chat with other parents and use the class for what its actually meant to be... time with your baby. Personally, I think they're the best, and yes I think your are being unreasonable 😂 😝

My girl is 6 now, but I used to read about these "baby sensory" thingies on Mumsnet and think "pffffff". I can only surmise many women put up with these inane groups in order to make friends with other mums.

I use Bloom and love them ... so does my little one.

My baby loves sensory class tbh. I find it enjoyable because he does.

Agree with you OP. I'm sure some are fun but had a trial at one class (won't name it) and it was so bad it was actually funny. Yoga poses with baby that involved lifting their legs up and down for 30 seconds. Whispering letters in their ear so they can sense them (???) Going on a jog around the room holding said baby whilst listening to nauseating high pitched music. The other mums looked as awkward and embarrassed as I did. Never went back.

I enjoyed Baby College and I didn’t know a soul.

Top tip - unless you’ve been unfortunate enough to chance onto a class with a whole NCT group taking it, no one else in the room knows anyone very well either.

I made friends by turning to people at the end and asking if they would like to grab a coffee. Even in an extremely snobbish and mega wealthy part of the Home Counties, people
didn’t say no and I met some nice people.

Sometimes you’ve just got to go put yourself out there. I’m not an extrovert and not naturally outgoing so it’s not like I had bags of confidence, just a hunch that no one else knew anyone other.

MN answer a) is that they are an appalling waste of money and unnecessary (god forbid anyone does something that isn’t strictly necessary!) and why don’t you go to a church hall.

Answer b) is no one spoke to me, everyone was so unfriendly, it was cliquey. Why don’t you go to a church hall or go for a walk?

My answer is - I loved it but if you didn’t, don’t go. It’s really not a big deal; we all like what we like. I didn’t get on with church halls at all, but I don’t feel the need to start threads about them

I hated it. The leader was so unfriendly and didn't even come out the room to greet me / tell me where to go on my first session. I sat in the waiting room so was then late for class after trying 5 different doors to find her. It was so structured but in an awkward way and every time she finished a song she would awkwardly and silently come around and prise the shaker etc out of the babies' hands when she only gave them it minutes ago. None of the mums spoke and I found the forcing everyone into the free play room next door for a play and chat so forced because no one spoke. I really didn't want to go again as it made me feel really anxious and my baby didn't crack a smile once and was actually moaning when usually she loves classes. I felt I had to go though because there wasn't an option to pay for a trial class and I had paid £40! My baby ended up ill the next week and she refused to refund or transfer the booking to another date so it was just that's that class / money lost. I didn't go back and just forfeited the money because I didn't want to deal with her again and the thought of going made me anxious and on edge. We've found another less known franchise where the leader is so welcoming and the classes are actually fun for adults as well and I've even made a friend!

I didn’t enjoy baby sensory but there was a branch of classes by me called Bloom and they were fantastic. We went for the full year on maternity leave and the lovely woman that ran our class still keeps in touch now.

I found Bloom Baby groups much better. Very professional and babies love it

Ahhhh I love them! But if you hate them, dont go obviously! There's no reason to - your baby can get these experiences just by being outside or in museums etc.

Do what you enjoy. I only do it because it breaks up the day and because I can't be bothered doing that kind of thing at home haha

When DS was born, I saw these baby classes as just another business idea built off the guilt of parents, who are told they're neglectful if they don't do sensory or music classes.

I felt the same about baby swim when I took DS. They just wave them around in the pool & sing songs. I didn't put DD in until 18 months & she's 9 now & streaks ahead of where DS was at the same age.

I took mine to a free council playgroup, library story / music time & different parks. They'd freely interact & play without constant direction & rules and I was happy to not be standing around listening to the super young mums pick on me for my age (mid 30's!).

Oh god I hate this song!! 😅
OP I’m currently going with my DS and I said the exact same thing to my partner!! Thankfully no more now nursery starts very soon ❤️

My DD hated it.
There were all these zen, yummy mummies in yoga pants and then there was me, so not yummy mummy, in jeans and scuffed trainers
DD screamed throughout and I got tuts and looks from the yummies.
I lasted ten minutes then excused us, and one of them said "oh thank goodness". So rude.
It was ridiculous all that flapping your hands about and shite.
Never went back and didn't even try it with DS.

Are you having a.larf?
Baby Sensory Group sounds like something out of Science Fiction. Margaret Attwood should write a book on it.

Or is this latest Virtue Signalling Activity for the Woke trailblazers..Like the M21 ers.

Just go to baby group where the mothers are friendly and where the babies can do norma, real things,.

You lnow, like vomitting all over their bibs and laughing at the same time. Followed by the second act of pissing and shitting and filling their nappies big times.

Then throwing toys and stuff all over the place and at other babies for fun for the final sct.

You will both love it.

Enjoy.

🤞🌻😻

X

I was not looked kindly upon when I took DS. The only sense he was interested in was sticking every single thing in his gob.

Gave it a very wide berth with the 2nd child...free library story time & a group at local church where it didn't matter what time you arrived AND they had decent biscuits worked out far better!

Just do what you want to. It won't make any difference to baby. Yes the song is a bit culty but for some people it's just nice to get out the house and have an activity.

I went to Baby Sensory religiously with DC1….on our last class I went to thank the teacher and she could not remember neither my name nor DC1’s name. It ended things on such a sour note and made me realise it’s just a corporate company like most other things!

I liked baby sensory. Nice props and setups (stuff like the giant parachutes) and dds laughed and gazed at me waving things in their faces rather than having a blank look. My favourite classes though were Hartbeeps and Gymboree. Lots of energy, use of music, imaginative props and selfie ops. I didn't like church hall type playgroups with cheap tea and biscuits in a cold room with broken and unmatched toys.

I loved Hartbeeps but only when my baby was much older and could interact. I didn't really do many groups before six months old unless they were for my benefit. They always seemed to be on when mine was asleep. I did enjoy Mum and baby yoga/pilates however

I went with my eldest for a trial session. Didn’t get it. Didn’t go back.

With my youngest a friend had started going and enjoyed it so suggested we meet for lunch first and then went. I went solely because I fancied a lunch out and a chat with my nice friend. First couple of sessions again I didn’t get it. (But very much enjoyed my lunch with my friend.) By session 3 it suddenly became more enjoyable. Ds seemed to recognise the songs and smiled a lot, I had learnt the actions so felt less of an idiot and I got chatting to all the other women there who were really nice too.

It helped that the leader was good and had been a speech therapist in a previous life and so was able to explain why we were doing what we were doing. She also had a way of speaking us as though we were “interested childcare professionals” rather than “total idiots” which seemed to be how most people spoke to the parents of small children so I appreciated that.

I liked it so much that I carried on going when my friend went back to work! (Although I did very much miss our lunches.)

All baby groups are for the parents. Some people really like things like baby sensory or baby massage, others prefer singing groups, signing groups or traditional toddler groups. Some prefer no groups at all.

When I had my eldest child my sister died when I was 20 weeks pregnant and I moved house to a brand new area at 36 weeks pregnant. I did all the groups I could when she was born to keep routine, make friends and try and stop feeling lonely and grieving alone in my house. I didn’t do sensory but would have done if there was a local class.

So many parents do a range of groups to have a routine, to meet people and to try and preserve their mental health as we know that postpartum is a tricky time mentally for many.

If it’s not for you then great, but others may choose to do it.

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