Formal School Complaint - AIBU

Gosh I wish I had someone like you to help me when my son was in mainstream - nearly 4 weeks off/on for various issues - mainly "defiance" (son is ASD/ADHD and PDA) as he was so disregulated where they didn't follow his EHCP nor my advice on how to deal with him. I know I could've appealed them but I was putting all of my effort to fight the L.A for a suitable SEN school and didn't have any more fight left. He is now in the best SEN placement for him but I am so angry at his old mainstream for the stress and trauma they caused him (and me!)

I cannot believe the attitude of some so called teachers on this post!

I don’t actually work in education 🤣

I think this is why I swot up so much for my governor role. The fact that I have a SEN child myself does also mean that I try especially hard to make sure my Governing body understands and follows the law in this area when panel decisions are needed.

Frankly I find most teachers are pretty lax with their own CPD. Not a criticism because they are underpaid and overworked. But then they shouldn’t be spouting shit on the internet and upsetting a parent who is hurting for their child and just trying to do the best for them.

How do you know this?

I genuinely think there must be more context somewhere.

This wouldn't happen where I work, as I know we'd de escalate first. Did your DS say anything to thr first SLT?

OTOH in a police or other environment, it's a useful life skill to know when to put up, shut up and get the hell out.

This is incorrect.

If a pupil’s difficulty following instructions (or “defiance” as you call it) arises from their autism (e.g. rigid sense of fairness, difficulties with flexibility, anxiety around perceived injustice), then:

• The behaviour may be disability-related.
• Disciplinary action (e.g. suspension, exclusion) could be discrimination arising from disability under section 15 of the Equality Act unless:
• It is a proportionate means of achieving a legitimate aim; and
• Reasonable adjustments have been made.

If you do truly work in education, please ask for further training in this area as your understanding is wrong.

In the last 3 months, I have attended a 6 hour local authority training session on permanent exclusions (same rules apply to suspensions). I have also taken advice from a local authority lawyer in relation to an exclusion panel for a disabled child. I have read everything I can possibly find from the DfE on this subject too. I take my Governor responsibility very seriously and am certain that my understanding of the law is correct.

FYI that an EHCP is not needed for the Equality Act protections to apply so your comment on the EHCP is completely irrelevant. The protection against suspension/exclusion for unmet SEN needs applies to all SEN pupils regardless of whether they have an EHCP or not (again - if you are truly a teacher then you should probably educate yourself on this)

Editing to reply to the right post

i think if somebody was throwing food at me whilst I attempted to eat lunch I’d tell them to fuck off too!

This sounds poorly managed OP, I mean yes the swearing isn’t ideal so they stop the food throwing, check he’s ok then later on during a calm moment somebody takes him aside and explains that swearing isn’t an acceptable or reasonable response and asks him to complete a problem solving exercise about it for extra homework…or something similar.

No need for all the drama and crowding round the lad with 3 adults. This sounds like it was blown out of all proportion.

(and yes the ones that threw food can eat their own packed lunches outside for a few weeks and apologise to OP’s ds.)

I honestly despair of secondary schools dashing straight to detentions and suspensions for every little thing.

GCSEs are all done with by around 16th June (ish), so there’s only a week left

None of us know what happened to the food throwers either. They may have an exclusion or similar on record. We also don't know if they are ND.

A suspension for defiance is clearly not a suspension for unmet needs. All children in a mainstream school need to be able to follow reasonable instructions from staff members. Sanctioning for failure to do this will not be breaching what is laid out in his ehcp.

Who should have left? Sorry you've confused me.

I agree about the time ND children take to process things. I always give students plenty of time and an opportunity at every step for a "get out clause" where they won't lose face. With your DS a subtle "let's walk to X place I need help with a job" may have been enough.

Ignore all the people who don’t understand autism. They’re talking shit. Actually quite scary how many of them claim to be teachers or SLT yet they don’t understand the basics of the law surrounding suspensions and exclusions 🤨😱

I’m so sorry your son is so distraught and I can only imagine the impact that it’s having on you too. Big hugs.

You’ve done the right thing raising a complaint. It can now be properly investigated. Please remember that a suspension for unmet SEN needs is illegal. A Governor panel is mandatory if the suspension is for more than 6 days and you request it.

Regardless of SEN needs, schools simply can't have situations where students are defiant to multiple members of staff and have to impose high level sanctions, because what kind of message does it send if they don't.

I hard disagree with some of the responses here. The boys who were throwing food should have been removed, not OP's DS. A reprimand for the bad language is fair enough, but it should have been the food throwing little shits who got the worst consequences. Especially if they were targeting him because of his difference.

Teachers may have thought they were de-escalating by trying to get him away from the scene, but in OP's DS' mind, they were being unfair, and that is absolutely the last thing that will de-escalate an activated autistic young person. It'll make things worse.

I would probably request a meeting with the school before going to the formal complaint stage, but I guess it depends how they are generally- supportive, or is this one in a long line of incidents.

If he'd left the first time there wouldn't have been 3 staff.

Food throwers implies multiple people, requiring multiple staff getting them to leave, all the while escalating the situation and possibly requiring someone leaving the students unsupervised and vulnerable. You don't know the needs of any of those children. The least worst option may have been getting your DS to leave. None of us were there, we don't know exactly what happened and if a different course of action may have been possible. We only know what was tried and didn't work.

I wonder if the reason they didn’t take an approach like that was because there were many other kids there watching. Maybe the SLT felt that if they were seen to retreat, it would be fair game for the whole school to take the same stance.

Yet to keep the student safe, the best thing to do was remove them from the hall. Allowing other staff to follow up with the food throwing. Autistic shutdown happens, we see it in school. But it is impractical to try and move all students out of the hall. Therefore the swearing one needs to leave and the whole situation can be cooled down. Clearly the way it was dealt with wasn't ideal, but if he refused to move for SLT person 1, what do you think should have happened next?

Please ask for a Governor panel and challenge the suspension. Not least because it’s not fair for him to have it on his school record if it’s because of unmet SEN needs