Nieces and nephews not invited to wedding.

It’s not odd, she uses MN for the purpose it’s intended for and this type of situation is clearly a point of sadness for her.

You are free to work through your own issues in the way you see fit.

Basically, leave her alone.

Or maybe he wanted a companion?

If the nephews and nieces were so unpleasant, then the B or G likely has zero relationship with their parents and wouldn’t invite them anyway.

Anyway, this scenario doesn’t apply here, the uncle gets on well with the teens.

I think if someone doesn’t invite his sister’s children to his 50th party
and then seems utterly indifferent when you say that in that case… you won’t be attending either
It is fairly reasonable to speculate that maybe he didn’t at all regard his relationship with his sibling as close or one he cherished?

Maybe he doesn’t like them.

Are you being deliberately unkind?

So it looks like maybe he regarded his relationship with you as not at all close and so was indifferent as to whether you attended or not?

That's understandable. It says a lot about where you rank in their life.

We lost contact with a sibling who wouldn't let us bring a newborn to their wedding, which was far from our home. It wasn't so much the exclusion as what they said, which was basically that they didn't give a rats if we couldn't come as long as their wedding was childfree.

We figured our children weren't important to them, so why involve them so much in our family? We were also not that important to them, so why make much effort?

On the other hand, we didn't go to my parents' big wedding anniversary. We had a six week old, it was a good drive away and there wasn't anywhere we could go with them during the party. We both mutually agreed it would be too hard, no hard feelings. We weren't excluded, it was just the situation.

I actually don't understand why people continue to ask this question on here, where the standard reply is, your very selfish and the devil himself if you expect members of your family to be included in one of the biggest days in that person's life. Where as we all know in real life this is not the case and of course it is utterly abhorrent that family members exclude each other like this for no other apparent reason other than they are nasty.

It wasn't a wedding, it was his 50th, he didn't react, I said we couldn't go because we had no childcare options and he just said ok. I was hurt about that too to be honest! I've withdrawn from him a lot since then.

Also come from NW Scandinavia and now live in the States. Everyone invites children to weddings here and in Norway where we come from. The only exception was a great-uncle who lived in Arizona and got married at 60 to a woman from his senior community center. He had no kids and we assumed he married her so she’d have sex with him. lol

I feel strongly that children are as much family as adults. I know people can have child-free weddings if they want to, but unless it was the world’s smallest wedding (like parents and 2 people to stand up), I would be insulted if my teen children weren’t invited to their own uncle’s wedding. It shows a breakdown of family tradition and cohesion. And for what? An Instagram pristine event doesn’t seem worth the long-term alteration of family connections.

If your relationship with bro is relatively good, just ask him. He's going to know more than we do ....

what was his reaction when you didn’t attend the wedding?

He isn't dead, we get on, there's no issues between us and he loves the kids. He doesn't have any himself and he tends to spoil them.

Were you close to your brother?

But you are being deliberately unkind.
You didn’t need to go digging into Ops old posts, but you did to try to make a point.
Why?
Op is upset about this and whether you think she should be upset is neither here nor there. Op would like advice. If you haven’t got any then bugger off

“Who they invite is up to them, but…”. It is UP. TO. THEM. My daughter wasn’t invited to my brother in law’s wedding. Wouldn’t be my choice but it wasn’t my wedding. Wouldn’t have dreamed of asking “WHY????”

Agreed.
it’s nasty and not helpful

I would ask. You want to understand the reason and I think that's fair enough.

My brother didn't invite my kids to his 50th (which was in a child friendly venue a long way from where either he or I live and or only babysitting options would also be at the party) and wouldn't let them attend for even the first hour. We didn't go. That was 4 years ago and I still think of it and how hurtful it was to the kids (although they were not aware there was even a party happening as I didn't want them to know they had been excluded, harder for a wedding).

That’s sad. Wonder if they felt it was worth it.

North Western European here and it would never have happened in my family. I invited any and all children and didn't even think there was a different option.

Sib in law did though and it was the beginning of the end of our relationship with that side of the family.

Whereas this was a top quality contribution! 😆

Yes. It seems for many these days, having the ‘perfect’ wedding is worth alienating family for. As you say, their choice.

This poster has no positive or interesting input to add to the thread. Just picking at stuff without adding anything useful herself.