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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH and MIL go ahead without me?

136 replies

oliviad1986 · 06/06/2025 17:22

Try to keep brief:

DH birthday on Sunday. New steak place opened up near us a few months ago and we said MIL would enjoy as she likes steak, none of us have yet been but I would love to go too, quite fancy place. Anyway we arranged for 3 of us to go out to celebrate birthday Saturday eve with my sister babysitting. MIL said it would be her treat. Sister can no longer babysit and MIL said that she and DH could still go.

i don’t know why but i feel like a bit annoyed. It’s somewhere we wouldn’t go to often and could rearrange when my sister could do but then again I also feel like maybe I ABU and should just say two of them to go?

OP posts:
BangersAndGnash · 06/06/2025 17:37

No, that sucks!

She was invited to join you and DH, you don’t get left out if your DH’s birthday because she has ‘bought’ the occasion!

The obvious answer is buy steak, stay at home and re-arrange the restaurant for another night.

Or find another babysitter

oliviad1986 · 06/06/2025 17:37

Not sure if relevant but we see his mum weekly

OP posts:
TheNightSurgeon · 06/06/2025 17:35

I would probably have offered to babysit instead, but I do think it's quite sweet that he and his mum are having a birthday meal together. I wouldn't say anything.

harriethoyle · 06/06/2025 17:34

I’d change the birthday plans to eat in if I were him and the three of you go there another time. I totally get why you’re annoyed.

IfIDid · 06/06/2025 17:33

I’d expect to reschedule, but my husband would go completely mad after 10 minutes of his mother’s undiluted company, no matter how good the food, so it wouldn’t arise.

Kissedbyfire1 · 06/06/2025 17:32

As a MiL, I would offer to babysit so that you and DH could go together. That’s how much I love my son.

LifeReallyIsTooShort · 06/06/2025 17:30

They should still go, it’s not like they’re having a birthday weekend away without you, it’s just a meal at a restaurant

Zanatdy · 06/06/2025 17:29

Its his bday and his mother. YABU

Livelaughlurgy · 06/06/2025 17:28

I'd be so annoyed, completely different if Dmil had arranged it, or it was her birthday.

Starlight7080 · 06/06/2025 17:25

Of course they should still go. It's his birthday and nice for him to celebrate with his mum aswell .
Also it's just a restaurant, I'm sure you can go another time .

lnks · 06/06/2025 17:23

Yes, I think the two of them should still go.

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