Friend’s feral teenage son

So does mine.

This suggests PDA to me. Wasn’t the Southport killer ASD? The bit about chasing someone with a knife reminded me of him.

Three generations of diagnosed ADHD in my family, and somehow, no one’s ever done anything close to chasing their mother with a knife or saying she should have been drowned at birth. 🙄 Don’t see what about this sounds like ASD, either.

What?! You are joking! Sounds like lack of boundaries to me! You must be one of those people who think all criminals have ASD or ADHD. They don’t! 😂

My guess is that the "loving home" is not that loving.

So do l. I have ND children.

But PDA can show like this.

Lots of autistic people don’t behave like this, and some NT people do behave like this. The point being it’s impossible to say whether his behaviour is down to autism/ADHD.

im not diagnosing and i am not using autism as an excuse to not parent
but people judging and saying autistic children never behave like this and its just bad parenting are very wrong

The child can’t be officially diagnosed until the age of eighteen, but he can certainly assess mental health services in the meantime.

I have an autistic daughter and I don’t think you can say from a few examples that the boy is or isn’t autistic. What if he is a sociopath instead or has borderline personality disorder or is bipolar? Insane to be diagnosing someone like this.

Sociopathy and psychopathy can present like this, he urgently needs an assessment.

How do you know. This thread is wild
us parents of ND children have lived this. We know what the reality is, and for me extreme acts of violence were common. I’m not suggesting this boy is ND, but you are very wrong saying this isn’t autistic behaviour, it is

What is it with people rushing to make excuses? Oh he must be ND… What utter bollocks! It’s far more likely to be shit parenting, lack of boundaries or just the fact that he’s an entitled little shit! I knew someone with a son just like this, she made every excuse under the sun for his behaviour! I read recently that he’s in prison for absolutely awful crimes! People don’t just become evil bastards the minute they hit 18! There are usually signs well before.
For those saying it must be ADHD, are you seriously suggesting that makes it excusable to chase your mother around the house with a fucking knife??

My son couldn’t fit in to the expectations of school, he now has a first class degree and starts his masters in September

he used to threaten to put pencils in the eyes of children who looked at him, he now manages a bar in Liverpool and has to perform in front of so many people
he channels aggression in to MMA training and matches
he used to hide under his bed/ desk/ refuse to take his hood off at school, he now sings and plays guitar in an indie band, he is exceptionally talented

he doesn’t naturally have social skills. He’s learnt how to do what is expected, shake hands, look people in the eye. He actively avoids situations that trigger him

hard hard work, but im so glad i fought, your friend needs to at least try

This sounds like a lethal combination of a child with MH issues and an indulgent weak parent. It's more likely any type of parent would have struggled with this kid but she has let him down by not setting boundaries when he was young and now neither of them can cope. He needs urgent help. I hope they both get it.

I know lots of children with ADHD and ASD, including my own son, and none of them behave like this.

How do you know she’s never parented him? When kids get to teenage years all bets are off and literally’ you can’t make me’ means that. I remember on mn someone saying they had a depressed school avoider for nearly a year and on mn someone said it was disgraceful they didn’t step up and make him go in. I said ‘five year old you can march in, 16yo he says no then that’s it’. She could be exhausted from him, not great but I had a few months of nothing going right with a teenager and I’ll tell you boundaries, threats, discussions, cajoling - blank wall.

My child has a diagnosis of both. You're so bloody wrong.

Someone else replied to my query saying it did offend them that these diagnoses were suggested. Each to their own I guess.

It doesn't at all. 2 of our DC are autistic, one is gentle and quiet, the other has extreme meltdowns when overwhelmed or when there is a change of routine.

This worsened entering teen years. He's not a violent nasty person, he's very loving and feels awful after, but it's not uncommon for children and teens who are autistic to struggle regulating themselves and to go into fight or flight mode.

It's also not common for a child without any additional needs and from a loving family to have extreme outbursts at that age. Questioning whether ND is the cause can allow people to narrow down the triggers and find better coping mechanisms for keeping in control of themselves.

Since when chasing somebody with a knife constitutes autism or ADHD?! What is the matter with you?

I’m not saying he definitely is Nd, just that this sort of behaviour is very much a marker for it. Autism can’t be an excuse, I spent years enforcing that he couldn’t just impact and damage other people because DS felt the need to express himself through violence. It is bloody hard work, but for us it worked, and my son was very extreme. It may well be that your friends son is consciously deciding to be a terrible human being, you know better than us the bigger picture. I suppose I was never passive, i did everything I could to change things. However it is very soul destroying

Not always the parents. My sister had a friend, her brother was bad news. Parents were lovely. Sister’s friend was so nice. But he made their lives hell. He’s still the same now…

First post?

ADHD. Must be. Only explanation.

Not bad parenting, oh no.

Given your updates, OP, this sounds like a mixture of passive, weak parenting where he has called the shots his entire life while your friend lives her life to serve him, and him just being a bad arsehole who’s severely lacking in any decency. Put those two together, and you get him.

Has he always been like this, even as a young boy?

My brother was like this and he is AuDHD