Friend’s feral teenage son

My bad. I didn't read this right. Thanks for pointing that out

With that ‘impressive’ list of credentials, you’d think you’d know better than to spout off about ADHD/ASD = feral/violent, but there we are. It seems you have resisted education to an outstanding extent. Good job, you.

OP wrote “as bad to his dad“ not as bad as his Dad.

Given this update I don't understand this sentence in your OP

He comes from a loving, two parent family home and is just as bad to his dad.

That in itself sounds like a contradiction. If both parents are loving, in what way is he "as bad as his dad."

Oh do behave. I’ve got two boys with adhd and asd (now 20 and 23) neither of them have behaved remotely like this. They had consequences for being disrespectful. Never mind aggressive behaviour!

How could any father worth his salt have not given him a good hiding?!

Yes it is. The Plymouth killer was ASD too.

I mean it’s rare, and all the ASD kids that have passed through my hands bar a few have been absolutely lovely.

And there is currently a thread about an ASD female 16 years old attacking male friends with violence atm on here.

It sounds like ASD or ADHD.

No it sounds like a violent out of control teenager who has never had consequences for their behaviour.

Interesting. So maybe it was linked then. It is such a sad case because the news reports suggested his parents had tried everything to get him help. It seems like maybe he fell through the net though, if the authorities couldn't keep him in school. Of course, Southport is a deprived area.I guess resources are limited.

Things that have helped me ‘know what l’m talking about’
PREVENT training
Safeguarding training
ND training
Confidrntial disclosures
Parental conversations
Case history meetings
SEND meetings
Controbutions to police and court reports.

What’s your background?

You appear to have no idea what you’re talking about.

I have 2 ND dc and spent all my life working with teens both NT and ND.

Its an open forum and l will say whatever l want.

You clearly have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about. Stop linking neurodivergence with violence, please.

Yes it was. But he didn’t go to school and spent all his time alone on his computer. This can be the case with ND.

So it was premeditated and he is evil, but if he’d not been sat alone in his bedroom planning stuff on a computer for 4 years would it still have happened? If he had had friends and gone to school?

Its a spectrum

Wasn't the Southport killer's attack pre-meditated? i don't think in his case his ASD was a trigger.

That said, I am aware that ASD can present as impulsive violent outbursts. perhaps the OP' s son does have a ND issue. it could be. or it could be that he is a knob, or it could be early onset of a mental health issue. Yes, im aware that most people with SMI aren't violent to others but many are. Im not an expert on ND, but I do have experience with SMI. including PD, bipolar etc. Without an assessment we cannot be sure.

How so, sorry.

I’ve rarely heard of any done attackonh parwnts. The odd one here and there.

Ableism? Why would l be talking about ableism? I have 2 ND dc

Plenty of violent males are from loving households. Plenty of sons attack their parents. Pack it in with the ableism.

The son hasn’t grown up kn a violent household. Violence often begets violence.

He’s grown up with 2 parents who seem love him, although are ineffectual.

How often is ‘male violence’ targeted at parents? Not very often.

How do? Asking as mom of a nd child, could use advice thanks.

My dd was exhausting at 3. Just exhausting. I had outside intervention for her.

But that was only 1 afternoon a week. And yes, l did let things go which should have been challenged because the fall out of the challenge would have been too much to cope with. Especially if it was later in the day, as l would already have fielded several other problems.

ND don’t react like NT. They find challenges and boundaries can increase their dystegulation. No form of discipline ever worked for my dd ever. It just made her worse. And we tried everything. What did work was rewards.

No it doesn’t, it sounds like male violence. Absolutely sick of people lazily dumping any shitty behaviour on the doorstep of people with ASD and ADHD.

Here’s another way of looking at it.

Maybe his response to challenges or boundaries was so extreme that his parents became afraid to do it anymore.

My dd is AUDHD. She isn’t violent or aggressive, but challenges cause a lot of drama and upset. I dread them.

What evidence do you base this on?

Inworked with adolescents for 25 years. Southport killer attacked with a knife. He had ASD. Brianna Grey was attacked with a knife. One of her killers had ASD. The majority of the prison population is ND. Presumably some of them are in for violent crimes.

The anxiety can be so extreme in some ASD cases that they become aggressive.

Did you work with adolescents for 25 years?

l have an Audhd daughter. She isn’t aggressive. But she has terrible anxiety and meltdowns. We manage her. But some
kids are more badly affected.