To be absolutely fuming with MIL and DH over this?

On their arrival, I would have asked for MILs house keys then went up to hers for the night for some peace.

Assuming theres no FIL there.

Let them deal with the kids if she is so lonely, and he is so dismissive of your feelings and opinions.

THIS

Id be fucking fuming

Next time she needs a change maybe DH and the kids could go over for a sleepover? Saturday night sounds good.

Between, say, 9am and 6pm, yeah, you should be able to have guests within reason.

But one has a right to privacy in your own home, to chill out after a day of work and/or kids without guests.

He can be close to his Mum tho running to see her whining like a baby is the issue. He could have got the nappies too prior to visit or afterwards. Be close to your Mum tho maybe get priorities in order around partner and kids. He sounds pathetic all round.

I would be telling him if he pulled a stunt like that again then he is done.He can move home with his mummy. What a useless,nasty,manipulative twat you have there lovely lady.

The visiting mum and inviting her to stay over is lovely. Neither me or my partner would mind about having family around, unplanned is ok, we are family.

The digs, comments, critisims are not.

You can't have both. Either you have a family who are nice and close enough that things can be relaxed and unplanned, or neither.

Have you a mum nearby you can stroll out tomorrow and visit? As you walk out say is there anything we really need at the shops? If so I will forget as that’s what competent parents do when given one job apparently. Feed them bath them bed and tidy up and if that’s not super easy be very very careful about having conversations about I need a break in the future because I do and am feeling homicidal about the man who is my kids dad and apparently recognises I need a break but doesn’t give a shit and does fuck all.

He obviously doesn't want to play husband & daddy & help you, maybe if he got his shit together & didn't sit there like a spare part - it's not difficult is it to work it out.

His mum should have kicked his arse back home - but obviously she's always pleased to see him.

Yes. You must. I feel for you. This is comedy gold !!! So witty and believable.

Snores like a tractor !! Ha ha !

He's done this to make you think twice about asking him to do anything in future 😡

That. Absolutely.

he brought her home so she can do what he doesn’t want under the disguise that you clearly need help if you can’t remember nappies.
”oh you need more family time…” oh really…and so you bring in your mother? 😂😂😂

Nip it in the bud.

Unbelievable behaviour.
There would be murder here.
You need to not get over this.

dear @Discoveni , my advice to you is to sign up, pronto, if you possibly can, to a creative-writing course near you.

Nothwithstanding the immediate pressures (which I understand you're experiencing) from the mammy's-boy father of your children; yet there is a streak of pure comedy gold here.

You may not realise it, but you have an ear for dialogue and an intrinsic understanding of the plangent funniness of the situated human condition.

Think "Father Ted" and / or "Steptoe".

Write this up. "Bottle it", as they say. Then get in touch with any "Writers' Room" outlets near you. That might be your local University; or local Adults' Ed; or contact the BBC's Writers' Room reach-out. Go for it.

F This… he should have just stayed at hers… boundary’s need to be set NOW. This is not ok. You obvs don’t have that relationship (with MIL) what was he & she thinking?!? I’d also be pointing out that no help was offered or needed. In fact MIL staying in DS bedroom caused more of an issue during the night. Let alone in the morning when once again no help was given. I’d be stating that that is never to happen again and if MIL wants “company” he can bugger off over to hers. It’s not appropriate and messes more with the kids routine with her coming and going.

You’re completely missing the point here. He was supposed to go on a simple brief errand and instead ends up at his mummy’s , probably whingeing about his hard life, and then has the gall to bring his mummy for a sleepover without even asking his partner. What an arse. Actually so is his mother.

I’m a mother in law by the way.

It's more likely he's thoughtless and is unwilling to do what is asked of him as a father and a partner. There's a pattern among men with this. So that's more likely.

That is an assumption not a fact, an assumption fueled by misandry. "he couldn't cope" FFS buying something from a supermarket is not climbing Mount Everest, of course he could cope. It is likely he decided to check on his mother and got distracted/sidetracked in an abnormally strong way.

Enmeshment. Not uncommon but not normal. Also not a random decision to visit her and bring her back home after you’d asked him to do a job.

like ive said before whats the point of him

WTAF !!!!

I am FUMING for you! I’m in my stained, holey scrats, no makeup, hair scraped back and if my DH showed up without the things we needed from the shop run but with my mum (his mum, I’d be fine with but mine sounds more like your MIL 😂). He would be sleeping on the sofa for a week!

Clearly he was punishing you for asking him to go to Asda.

The staying out for much longer than it takes was probably his plan. However, he needed a reason so popped into his Mum's. Christ only knows why he added the slumber party cherry on top.

Wow.

I love my MIL and always happy to have her here but in this exact scenario I’d be a bit annoyed!

it’s not about needing permission, it’s just about communication and courtesy!

and going out for nappies but not buying any is pretty poor. That’s a very easy task to fulfil.

He had one job - get nappies!
But you're snappy.
He is a liability, and you'd be better off without him.