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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH refuses to measure bottles

209 replies

CharmingDryad · 06/06/2025 15:57

DH refuses to measure the water and formula scoops when making bottles for our baby. The bottles have measurement lines on there. You just pour to your desired line, and sometimes pour a little out if it’s too much. But he says that’s too difficult to do. He also refuses to use the built-in level in the formula can to make the scoops exact so you know how much you’re giving her. He says, “that’s not how cooking works.” And “I just eyeball it.” He tries to eyeball the measurement, but it’s really not difficult to go ahead and use the level. Yet he refuses.

AIBU to demand he measure properly? Or am I being too fastidious?

OP posts:
xPenelopePitstop · 06/06/2025 17:14

Weaponised Incompetence.

What a pathetic excuse of a father. I’m sorry OP.

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 06/06/2025 17:14

Please show him my comment.

I'm a retired midwife and I've seen one baby who died after being given bottles which were made up incorrectly.

The formula was too strong, the baby went into kidney failure and died in intensive care. This baby was three months old when he died and I've never forgotten him.

Imonmyway · 06/06/2025 17:12

How does he feel about sterilising?

Or anything else thar babies need? Like safe sleep and car seats.

Maybe he should use premade bottles when he's looking after baby

diddl · 06/06/2025 17:07

So he's stupid & lazy?

InShockHusbandLeaving · 06/06/2025 17:06

I’m sorry? He’s a professional intellectual? I think he’s in the wrong job love 🤯

Original poster
CharmingDryad · 06/06/2025 17:05

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 06/06/2025 16:50

I take it your dh is very handsome or rich? If not why breed with someone so dense?

His main draw is his brains! He is a successful professional intellectual. But he can be so stupid and stubborn about common sense things.

OP posts:
ByQuaintAzureWasp · 06/06/2025 17:04

Don't fall for this - he's doing it so you will stop asking him.

Don't measure stuff you make his meal with, teach him a lesson!

Blackdow · 06/06/2025 17:00

Was it some weird power play? Like, he thinks he just knows better than the nutritionists who designed the formula and better than you, a mere woman?
It’s just such an idiotic thing to do; the measurement is there for a reason; they ensure the baby gets the right amount of nutrients and to ensure there is enough water so baby doesn’t get dehydrated. Was he actually happy to risk that? It would be small amounts off but at every feed, that would add up. And it was pointless and arrogant and just stupid to do that for no reason.

Is he actually being truthful when he says he is going to do it properly?

Zucker · 06/06/2025 16:59

What a way to find out your husband thinks he's superior to the lesser mortals that actually read the instructions on labels. Arrogant tosser.

legoplaybook · 06/06/2025 16:58

Ask your health visitor if there is a community nursery nurse or parent support worker who can come and visit him and educate him about how to make a bottle and take care of a baby safely.

SummertimeFeelingFine · 06/06/2025 16:58

He's a bit of a dummy isn't he. If not purposely nasty.

It's not 'cooking' and formula is very carefully calibrated and needs to be given in the exact form. It can be dangerous otherwise.

I'm sure I'm just repeating what everyone else is saying.

Ponderingwindow · 06/06/2025 16:55

I’m glad he has agreed to be more careful.

If he had not, I was going to suggest you switch to only buying premade formula. It’s more expensive, but at least you would know it was always made correctly.

Soontobe60 · 06/06/2025 16:55

NJLX2021 · 06/06/2025 16:02

What age?

Kind of matters a lot.

Early on.. absolute no.

But to be honest by 2 years? When my son was eating a lot every meal.. I was just eyeballing it most of the time.

Who uses formula for a 2 year old???

FOJN · 06/06/2025 16:53

CharmingDryad · 06/06/2025 16:33

Thanks MN for all these scathing comments. He has been an idiot. Ironically he has three graduate degrees and teaches at a law school! I’ve read the comments to him, and he’s now admitted he was wrong and promised to measure properly from now on. Win!

He's arrogant because he has certificates. Imagine being that highly educated and still too lazy to follow the instructions on a formula tin.

And he needed a verbal kicking from MN to do the right thing. What a waste of space.

MaryGreenhill · 06/06/2025 16:52

It's very dangerous , your baby is at risk of Hypernatraemia .

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 06/06/2025 16:52

Yanbu! The baby must be wondering what's going on with his milk!

I remember crying once in the early hours because i'd lost count ot the number of scoops i'd done for dd's bottle 😭

Edit, it is also very dangerous tbh.

Muffinmam · 06/06/2025 16:51

Your husband is either challenged intellectually or this is weaponised incompetence.

My child’s father once made his bottle so hot that it burned me when I tested it. He refused to remake it.

I was just so shocked at the sheer and utter selfishness of him.

Five years on from this incident I’m no longer shocked by the sheer and utter selfishness of him. I know what he is now.

Wreckinball · 06/06/2025 16:50

Tagyoureit · 06/06/2025 16:36

Weaponised incompetent with a cunty twist!!

He's being a massive dick!

Sounds like the name of a dreadful cocktail (which of course it is)
what a dangerous idiotic idea, glad he’s been forced to admit it

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 06/06/2025 16:50

I take it your dh is very handsome or rich? If not why breed with someone so dense?

MrsMitford3 · 06/06/2025 16:50

JustGiveMeWineNow · 06/06/2025 16:13

I am no fussy parent, but that is just ridiculous. That’s weaponised incompetence at its absolute best. Sorry OP but anyone that stupid should not to be allowed to breed.

This all day.

What a spectacularly shitty attitude.

It's a tiny baby who relies on the adults in it's life to keep it safe and healthy.

He needs to be step and parent. There are some things that you just don't "wing"

Original poster
CharmingDryad · 06/06/2025 16:49

ThreeLocusts · 06/06/2025 16:36

Just to echo the point that no, this is NOT 'cooking'. It's akin to lab work and exactitude matters with a such a tiny creature. And yes, none of this should need saying to the baby's father.

I'm sorry he's being a dick - strategic incompetence is bad enough, but applying it to a situation where his baby's health is at stake just stinks. Here's hoping this was a massive brain fart/spectacular show of ignorance on his part and he sees the error of his ways right speedily now.

I honestly think it wasn’t weaponized incompetence. He loves feeding her. I think it was idiocy and arrogance on his part as commenters have said.

OP posts:
HerosAreUs · 06/06/2025 16:47

Obviously he's majorly in the wrong! But for your own peace of mind you could purchase the ready made formula for when you're unable to make the bottles yourself.

SoScarletItWas · 06/06/2025 16:44

He’s not cooking, though, is he? He’s following science and mirroring what the lab says is the right blend.

If that’s how he thinks cooking works, ask home to make a cake by eyeball.

He’s a knob who won’t follow instructions because he knows best.

Away2000 · 06/06/2025 16:44

Even if he did agree to make them correctly I wouldn’t trust him. He’s shown zero care about the safety of the child’s sole source of nutrition. As an educated person surely he could have taken a few minutes of his time to research the health implications of doing it his way?

RawBloomers · 06/06/2025 16:42

Does he make half full bottles with a heaped scoop of formula type of thing or is he a little bit up or down on the water and the scoop is close but not exact?

Because the former is dangerous, the latter really isn’t and an insistence on being exact is pointless.