To never tell partner I love him?

I have no kids my choice.
Im very happy thank you.
But i just dont feel that connection of love with people.
I mean i like them but not the i couldn't live without you thing.
I must be married etc.
We are all different.

My parents were born in the 1930s and have always said they love me; frequently, always have done and still do. So I'm not sure what what decade you were born in has to do with it except that people are more likely to ask other families if they say it or not on social media.

Dh parents never said it to him. I find that weird and it feels cold to me but I don't doubt they loved him.

Oooh, this sounds infuriating. Therefore I must read it. Do you remember the thread title, by any chance?

What’s you relationship status? And history? I’m guessing…. Unhappy

Im probably worse op i dont believe in love.
True love solemates whatever you want to call it.
I dont believe in any of it.

The same thing happened in that other thread this week op, where the op of that thread refused to believe anyone could be really happy or that a relationship is a real relationship if it didn't fit her pattern of what a real relationship was mean to be. Your relationship clearly works for you, so that's great. But those of us who don't want the traditional "settled down" typical relationship, and have something less common face these kind of questions all the time.

Not saying it regularly or even remotely regularly is surely a little different to literally never ever having said it to someone?

Same here. I don't think it is that unusual.

Married happily for 25 years and it's not something we ever say either. We write it in cards sometimes! I love him and he loves me. We know this. It's obvious from the way we behave and treat each other. But when we said it out loud it was a bit awkward so we didn't try agan very often!

We're exactly the same!

It’s hardly ‘casual’ if they’ve been together 5 plus years and in a committed and exclusive relationship 🙄. You know not every loving relationship looks like a married couple with 2.5 kids and a golden retriever! Also, doesn’t every couple have the relationship on their ‘own terms’. Your multiple Qs and appraisal of OPs relationship is just so very judgmental and blinkered!

🤣🤣🤣

My parents were born in the 1930s and 40s, and never told me they loved me when I was growing up but I felt loved. My dad actually did tell me he loved me when I was 24. I remember the exact time and place! I’ve told my DD that I love her every day since the day she was born. I haven’t been able to help myself! I understand that my parents were from a very different generation where feelings weren’t discussed but can’t imagine not telling my child that I love her, I can’t keep it in! If I had a partner I’d expect to be the same.

We tell each other all the time, morning, noon and night but we are still like lovestruck sappy teenagers even after 8 years together, 3 married.

I mean obviously it works for you it just wouldn't work for me and I think that's why I don't understand.
You know you love him and he knows he loves you so really, it doesn't actually matter what anyone else thinks x

I tell my husband that I love him all the time, because I do. We say “I love you” to the other whenever one of us leaves the house, we say it at the end of most phone calls and sometimes I just randomly text him during the day to just say “I love you” followed by some kisses. Sometimes I’ll be doing some inane activity and he’ll just sneak up behind me and give me a cuddle and tell me he loves me.

It’s not a performance or white noise, it because I genuinely love him and I like telling him that.

I can’t even count how many times I tell my children I love them every day 🤣

I love my husband just like I love my children so telling them just feels so natural.

With regards to actions speaking louder than words when demonstrating love, the way we all act and behave towards each other is also very loving - it doesn’t have to be one or the other.

That made me laugh! He sounds like a tit.

If it works for you, it works for you. Some people are very prescriptive as to what a ‘proper’ relationship must look like and, if yours doesn’t fall within their narrowly defined parameters, will dismiss it. Or they’ll get weirdly angry. It’s a bit mad.

I tell my DH and DC I love them all the time, but that’s me. I don’t think that’s the only way to be.

Because my point was simply was of your own parents never ever said I love you to you, then I imagine it would be at the very least perplexing once you have your own children (presuming you tell them you love the
like @x2boys )

Well everybody is different. We do say, Love you Bye and Love you, goodnight, and I say it to friends and family and partner. I guess its part of my natural language, I am not meaning it as declaring undying love every time I say it.
To have never have said the word love at all, I would find it odd. But then as I said, its part of the way I speak to use the word love, a lot.
So, if you and your partner show you love each other in the same way, and that way doesnt include verbal expressions of love then it's not weird for you both, it's your normal.

Are you a parent?