To never tell partner I love him?

You can like love songs without being comfortable uttering the words “I love you”.

Similar with my parents-never told this, but it was fundamentally known-we are still close and never really say it-I have tried to say it to them, but they tend to look at me sideways, and it’s awkward. I accept this isn’t the way our relationship works 😆
i’ve been with my partner for 10 years & he tells me he loves me all the time. He tells his kids this, and will say it to my children. My kids will say it to me, even my 16 year old DS 😁. DP is also a hugger-I’m not, particularly. And, truthfully, being explicitly told you’re loved, and hugged by the people you love, is actually amazing. I feel cherished, and, err, loved. I have definitely tried to change with kids/partner & say it to them as much as possible (it doesn’t necessarily feel natural) because I want them to feel how I feel when it gets said to me 😊
I think the idea of it not meaning anything if it gets said too often-language is about more than words, so you’ll instinctively know when it’s not meant by all the other cues.
But however your relationship works for you is the right way for you, as long as you feel loved and cherished 😊

What a narrow minded, nasty outlook on life.

Op, so even during love making there’s no mention of loving each other? Neither of you have ever blurted it out even durung ‘that’ moment?

Her friend in real life said she found it “mind blowing”

If said friend had written that on this thread….. 😦

you ask whether your relationship is “strange” in AIBU, brace yourself for some forthright opinions! 😆

What? And after she's been interrogated and she says she's very happy, they've been together 5 years but don't want to live together and she doesn't want kids get sneeringly told she's not in a relationship at all and doesn't love him.

That seems okay to you?

Righto.

Quick google… apparently there’s 77 ways
to say I love you in Japanese

learn something new every day! 😆

HUGE in Japan

full of love songs

point is…. Saying i love you is now very much part of the culture in Japan. Maybe not decades ago, but Japan is very different now

Kpop? As in Korean? What's that got to do with Japan?

Japanese? Have you heard of k pop? Japanese very very very popular pop music. SO many love songs!!

Ich liebe dich

my husband is German. I can assure you that it is very very much part of their culture!! 😆

China and Japan are just a couple of examples. I watched a skit recently which joked about German people not saying it, I don't know how true that one is.

And honestly… I am baffled that someone is very happy to tell others, on mumsnet and indeed in RL (her friend) that she loves her boyfriend, but after 5 years has never felt so inclined to either write it or say it to her boyfriend himself.

I don’t think it’s “outrageous” or anything akin to that.

No one is saying it’s “outrageous”

the OP asked “is it strange”

Sone posters, indeed like her friend in RL, have essentially said that “yes, I do find it strange”. But that’s gone down like a sack of shit with some!

Surely you can see that saying 'I love him' on MN or to a friend is totally different to saying 'I love you'.

These threads always fill up with people who act as if it's outrageous that somebody should think and feel differently to themselves. (Edited to add that I'm not directing this at you @Easyonaweekend)

I feel uncomfortable saying these kinds of things, and possibly even more so having them said to me. A friend recently told me in a very heartfelt way how glad she was to have met me. I was touched, don't get me wrong, but I found the situation extremely awkward and I'd have rather she hadn't said it.

She asked whether her relationship was “strange”

naturally posters are going to ask questions about said relationship in order to answer the question from their perspective

FFS MN is getting worse with derailing threads poking noses into things the OP never asked about.

She asked for people's opinions on a particular question. She didn't ask for randos online to question her about her relationship and pass judgement on it.

I also don’t think words are meaningless- they certainly wouldn’t be if the words were nasty, and having lived with someone who said things they “didn’t mean” I’m really sceptical when people say words mean nothing, with the (usually unintended) implication that their own words should have low value put on them.

How would you describe your communication more generally, around ‘intense’ emotions. Have either of you suffered a bereavement whilst you’ve been together? or had set backs at work? What do you think would happen if one of you had a frightening health crisis - can you imagine squirming if he received a death sentence prognosis and started to cry?

I guess the general question is : are any intense emotions given space in your relationship, or is evidence of having an interior life a deal-breaker for you?

What “entire nations” where it would be “unusual” for a parent to ever say to their child “I love you” or someone say to their loved one “I love you”?

It's cultural and there are entire nations for whom it would be unusual to say it in families. And there are some families where it's unusual to say it in the UK. I can't remember if my parents said it but I assume they did from time to time. I have said it to all long term partners and I now say it all the time to my kids and my partner usually multiple times daily. It connects us and I want them to know how much they are loves and that I'm feeling love for them in that moment. I think for some it would feel uncomfortable usually down to their family background and I find that sad. It's true it's not the only way to show someone your love but it's an important one to me. But it's cultural so I appreciate others won't interpret it in the same way.

I am like you OP. I can discuss with others how I feel about somebody but saying it aloud feels awkward, forced and cringe to me.