Page 16 | To never tell partner I love him?

Takinitgottobserd · 2025-06-06T13:51:01+00:00

Is it weird? I have never told him I love him, and he's never told me he loves me. I do love him, completely. My parents never told me they loved me growing up, and I never told them, but there was absolutely no doubt that we all did. I spoke to him yesterday and a friend commented that she always told her DH she loved him every time she said bye, and did I not do the same. I said I’d never said it and nor had my DP, and she found it mind blowing. Is it that strange?

Antsytum · 10/06/2025 18:01

Takinitgottobserd · 10/06/2025 15:40

He might. He might not.

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I think half a decade in…. You can be fairly sure that like you, he would not be happy to read you saying that you love him.

Sounds like you’re very well suited, can’t be many people in mid thirties who after 5 years know that they don’t want to live together; never want children and would both shudder at idea of the other person saying “I love you”. But you have found one another!

Tornwrapper · 10/06/2025 16:22

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Original poster

Takinitgottobserd · 10/06/2025 16:09

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That’s right. I can’t see him posting a thread on Mumsnet though.

OP posts:

2025diaries · 10/06/2025 16:08

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Takinitgottobserd · 10/06/2025 15:40

Helpsremove · 10/06/2025 15:23

More likely he’d squirm and shudder given you say you love him multiple times!

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He might. He might not.

OP posts:

Helpsremove · 10/06/2025 15:23

Takinitgottobserd · 10/06/2025 12:00

I can’t see us sitting having a chuckle over this thread 😂. He’d think I’d lost my mind posting on Mumsnet about him.

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More likely he’d squirm and shudder given you say you love him multiple times!

Original poster

Takinitgottobserd · 10/06/2025 13:53

pimplebum · 10/06/2025 12:41

Bit weird if I am honest, my parents were not I love you parents but me and DH are

seriously not even when engaged or married ?
have you said it in writing in valentines birthday cards?
do you say it to kids/ pets family ?

I don’t say it at all.

I’m not engaged or married but I can’t imagine it making any difference. I don’t even put my name on his Valentines cards, they’re meant to b anonymous!

OP posts:

pimplebum · 10/06/2025 12:41

Bit weird if I am honest, my parents were not I love you parents but me and DH are

seriously not even when engaged or married ?
have you said it in writing in valentines birthday cards?
do you say it to kids/ pets family ?

TheFatCatsWhiskers1 · 10/06/2025 12:37

Takinitgottobserd · 10/06/2025 12:02

Towns in NE England must be different.

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I'm from the NE as well, that must be it.

onthewineagain · 10/06/2025 12:21

Fingerpie · 06/06/2025 15:16

My parents never told me they loved me growing up, and I never told them,

surely you know that that is certainly not “normal”?

Do you have children yet op?

Edited

I don’t think it’s weird or “not normal”.

I’m just not a demonstrative person in that way, other than my kids.

My parents never said “I love you” growing up, to each other or to me.

I have young kids now and I say “I love you” about 10 times a day to them, and they say it constantly as well, to me, their dad, and grandparents.

Other than my kids I don’t say it to anyone….but my parents and husband know that I do.

Original poster

Takinitgottobserd · 10/06/2025 12:02

Nicecoff · 10/06/2025 06:36

My parents, grandparents, boyfriends etc in the 1980s and 1990s all told me that I was “amazing” and that they “loved me” liberally and regularly! Oh and I grew up in a village in the SE England!

Edited

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Towns in NE England must be different.

OP posts:

Original poster

Takinitgottobserd · 10/06/2025 12:00

Nosetotoe · 09/06/2025 16:58

Would you show him this thread Op? If only to have a chuckle over it together? Or because you do say that you love him repeatedly on this thread….Does that mean you’d feel uncomfortable with him reading this words?

I can’t see us sitting having a chuckle over this thread 😂. He’d think I’d lost my mind posting on Mumsnet about him.

OP posts:

Original poster

Takinitgottobserd · 10/06/2025 11:58

Nicecoff · 10/06/2025 06:38

Isn’t the point that the Op would definitely not be happy if it did happen? She’d squirm and feel very uncomfortable?

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Yes, exactly. It’s not something I dream about happening.

OP posts:

Nicecoff · 10/06/2025 06:38

Weepixie · 09/06/2025 19:30

Op, I wouldn’t write it off ever happening just yet.😉

Edited

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Isn’t the point that the Op would definitely not be happy if it did happen? She’d squirm and feel very uncomfortable?

Nicecoff · 10/06/2025 06:36

TheFatCatsWhiskers1 · 09/06/2025 21:37

Right. I think telling someone they’re amazing or whatever is quite a modern and American thing to be honest. I think ‘well done’ and ‘this is excellent, thank you’ suffice. If a friend or even a partner told me they were proud of me I’d probably go off them there and then.

@Treesandsheepeverywhere

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My parents, grandparents, boyfriends etc in the 1980s and 1990s all told me that I was “amazing” and that they “loved me” liberally and regularly! Oh and I grew up in a village in the SE England!

Idontjetwashthefucker · 09/06/2025 23:26

Some total cunts on this thread. OP your relationship sounds pretty perfect to me, long may it last ❤️

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 09/06/2025 22:06

TheFatCatsWhiskers1 · 09/06/2025 21:37

Right. I think telling someone they’re amazing or whatever is quite a modern and American thing to be honest. I think ‘well done’ and ‘this is excellent, thank you’ suffice. If a friend or even a partner told me they were proud of me I’d probably go off them there and then.

@Treesandsheepeverywhere

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I’d probably go off them there and then...😅

I knew someone who went bright red at being given a compliment and darting eyes like a deer in headlights.
Being told I'm proud of you, would have finished her off! 😂

TheFatCatsWhiskers1 · 09/06/2025 21:39

@Weepixie ’say you didn’t mean it’ has made me laugh out loud!

TheFatCatsWhiskers1 · 09/06/2025 21:37

Takinitgottobserd · 09/06/2025 13:42

I don’t tell people they’re amazing, no. I wouldn’t normally tell adults I’m proud of them either, although I would say it to my two little nieces. Funnily enough, being proud is one that my mother would say to me.

If you mean affection to mean gushy with words, then I’m not.

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Right. I think telling someone they’re amazing or whatever is quite a modern and American thing to be honest. I think ‘well done’ and ‘this is excellent, thank you’ suffice. If a friend or even a partner told me they were proud of me I’d probably go off them there and then.

@Treesandsheepeverywhere

Weepixie · 09/06/2025 19:30

Takinitgottobserd · 09/06/2025 16:57

I don’t know. It just wouldn’t happen.

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Op, I wouldn’t write it off ever happening just yet.😉

Nosetotoe · 09/06/2025 19:12

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 09/06/2025 19:07

Glad you agree.

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Very much so

“We’re all different”

indeed we are!

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 09/06/2025 19:07

Nosetotoe · 09/06/2025 19:04

As this very thread demonstrates on our views on telling loved ones we love them!

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Glad you agree.

Nosetotoe · 09/06/2025 19:04

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 09/06/2025 19:03

More dregs of it, not beauty. But were all different after all.

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As this very thread demonstrates on our views on telling loved ones we love them!

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 09/06/2025 19:03

Nosetotoe · 09/06/2025 18:57

Beauty of mumsnet 😆

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More dregs of it, not beauty. But were all different after all.

Nosetotoe · 09/06/2025 18:57

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 09/06/2025 18:50

Google grief! How has it got to people chucking out contraceptive advice 😱.

Bonkers!

Beauty of mumsnet 😆